Saturday, February 14, 2009

Valentine's Day is Canceled

Do you hear that loud sucking noise?  It's Valentine's Day and the legions of singles and unhappy couples getting sucked into this dreaded "Hallmark Holiday".  Damn the pressures of true love.  Damn those obnoxious lovers cooing at one another. Damn the long stem rose deliverers of the world.  Who created this frigging holiday anyway?  A masochist?  Singles don't need a "special" day to remind them how "alone" they are in this big, cruel world.  Most singles just want to get the stinking day over with and move on before they go running and screaming down the street like a raving lunatic!

Then there's me.  Afterall, I'm "50 going on 40" and madly in love with my hubby.  But like singles, there's pressure for us married ones too.  It's the day to pull out all under-things red. No granny panties on V-Day.  And the chocolates!  You know-- the ones you've been avoiding since you promised yourself you'd stick to your diet?  Chocolates will be coming through the door at 7pm.  I guarantee it.  And the hunt for the perfect card that expresses your undying love?  Crap.  You forgot to pick it up yesterday at the supermarket.  It's true--  Even us married folks need Valentine's Day like we need a whole in our heads.

I proclaim Valentine's Day as the new "Get a Good Night's Sleep Day".  Doesn't that sound better?  Who couldn't use a little more sleep-- in your granny panties-- minus the migraine from too much chocolate and the guilt trip of being "alone"?  One less day to feel bad about yourself should be a sure thing.  Alert the Media!

Don't get me wrong.  I can be a hopeless romantic like the next girl.  I just don't like to "schedule" romance every year on February 14th.

Welcome to  -  Joanna 

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