On Baby Sister's wedding day, as her Maid of Honor, it was my duty to keep the bride-to-be happy, so when she said she was having a "Big Mac Attack", I headed for the closest McDonald's drive through with her on the way to the wedding ceremony. No she wasn't in her wedding dress yet, but we were all glammed up and it was two hours before she became a "Mrs.".
This couple was smart-- From the moment they decided to get married knew they wanted a small wedding and managed not to get swept up in "wedding fever". Theirs was a deliberately small wedding that included their large families and only the couple's closest of friends.
Of course she was a stunning bride and very excited, but relaxed, on her big day as we hung out in the "Bride's Room" at the church, munching on burgers and fries before the ceremony. We ran down our "to-do" list and she casually gave me the wedding rings to "take care of" but I reminded her that it was the Bestman's job, not mine, and we moved onto the next chore-- grape juice substituted for the wine during the ceremony.
I was so careful with that deep purple glass jar of juice. The last thing I needed was to have a big purple stain all over the bride dressed-in-white or myself-- But I nearly tripped when I spied the Hubby-to-be on the way to deliver the juice. He looked a little on the nervous side with an odd smile plastered on his face-- A very green face which occasionally turned to ghostly gray. Oh, and he was sweating bullets too.
Groom gave me a quick thumbs up and assured me all was well but I asked the Bestman to keep on eye on him anyway. But otherwise, things were going smoothly and I swear I could hear the angels singing on this very happy day.
By the time I saw the Groom again later, at the end of the aisle waiting for his bride, I momentarily thought he might simply collapse in a heap-- or throw up all over the Minister's shoes, one or the other, but he managed to keep his nerves in check and greeted Baby Sister with a big smile and a tear in his eye.
The small gathered crowd of about 50 sighed collectively in happiness and we all turned our attention to the Minister standing a few feet away from me holding his opened Bible. It was then I knew we had a problem.
A major problem.
The Minister was wearing a huge gold ring. In a flash I remembered the wedding rings were never delivered to the Bestman and were in fact, still in the "Bride's Room" immediately opposite the church entrance.
I, in a moment of panic and less than gracefully, turned to my mother seated in the front row and mouthed the words "Oh sh*t, I forgot the rings!"
Not my finest moment.
The Minister, who knew my mother well, noticed she practically sprinted out of the church and into the "Bride's Room", looked to me in a Ministerly WTH kind of way. I whispered the situation to him and the Bride and Groom and prayed Mom could put her hands on the rings fast.
I give him credit, the Minister handled things beautifully and gave an impromptu sermon-like chat that was laced with enough wisdom and laughter that the Groom actually relaxed and normal color returned to his face. But after a good, painfully long three minutes, Mom was still missing in action and so were the rings.
I looked over my shoulder in the direction of the Bride's Room, which now had it's double doors wide open for all the guest to see inside-- And there was Mom tearing through suitcases, make-up bags, purses and even the McDonald's wrappers in search of the rings. Let me tell you things were flying around that room and I never remember my mother moving so fast in her life.
When Mom finally spotted the black velvet box on the dressing table she let out a squeal and raced back into the church where she was greeted with a huge round of applause by the guests and Minister.
Finally the ceremony started. Little Sister took it all in stride, her Groom-- by this point, was thoroughly enjoying himself, Mom was back in her seat huffing and puffing, and the Minister got to the task at hand.
Why I let the "take care of the rings" message go in one ear and out other the other remains a mystery to me... And believe me, I've relived that moment a thousand times. I was way younger back then so blaming it on a "Senior Moment" was out of the question-- I wasn't over caffeinated-- There's no such thing as a McDonald's hangover-- And I was very focused on every other detail of the wedding day.
I yiyi, I have no idea.
But there are no hard feelings-- just a lot of good humor ribbing each year on their anniversary and every chance in between that the subject presents itself. I deserve it and even open the conversation up when I leave a voicemail message at their home saying I just wanted to "give them a ring" and say hello.
Welcome to www.TheFiftyFactor.com -- Joanna Jenkins
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