Friday, February 13, 2009

Doctor Dude and the Paper Gown

After months of nagging back pain I found myself in a paper hospital gown seated on a very cold exam table waiting for my new spine specialist to walk through the door.  As I waited and watched the clock, I mentally calculated how much I used to charge my clients per hour and estimated Dr. Spine owed me about $450.

Finally the door swung open with a swoosh that sent my paper garment flying higher than Marilyn Monroe's dress over a street grate.  Dr. Spine took one look at me and immediately registered disappointment on his face.  You know how on "Grey's Anatomy" the interns are always fighting for a "good case?  Well, my case wasn't and apparently neither was I as I tried to cover myself.

My reason for sharing this moment of humiliation is simple. Women of a "certain age" should carefully pick their physicians. Dr. Spine is  NOT the kind of doc you want.  Trust me on this. Although he looked like he'd just walked of the set of "Beverly Hills 90210" and was dressed from head to toe in Armani, he was only 35 years old.  THIRTY-FIVE!  So unless you are some hot "cougar" who has the secret recipe for shaving 10 years off your 50 year old sagging, and might I add in this case, braless boobs, a 35 year old doc is not the doc for you. (Remember the paper gown ladies!)

To add insult to injury, this very fine looking man of medicine had clearly missed the college course on how to talk to middle aged women.  He totally dismissed the tears running down my face when I tried to bend and touch my toes.  When our eyes finally met, he radically proclaimed "Dude!  You're great!".  

Yes, my doctor called me "Dude".  Of course it was the last time I ever saw him again and for good reason.  How can I have confidence in a medical professional who not only looks like a kid but also talks like a kid.  Sure he has all the beautifully framed medical school diplomas hanging on the exam room walls.  And, clearly he is capable and qualified to be a doctor.  But, I just can't wrap my head around a doctor that is younger than some of my socks. 

How old are your doctors? 
Welcome to  -  Joanna

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