Monday, February 16, 2009

Hot Flash: Step Away From Your Wife

Fifty many be the new forty but some things  are simply unavoidable.

Advice for men with menopausal women....

1)  Ripping her cloths off in the middle of the night is not an invitation for wild sex.  She's hot-- boiling, sweating, stark-raving HOT!  If you want to live; step away from your wife.

2)  No comments about her sweat mustache.  It could cost you a limb.

3) Wise cracks, rude remarks, smirks and snickering about her memory loss are an absolute no-no.  The only thing your wife will remember is what a complete boob you are.  If you simply must laugh, do so on another planet.

4)  Your wife is making a grilled peanut butter and chocolate sandwich.  All bets are off if you so much as whisper a fat joke. Remember, women have been found not guilty by reason of menopause.

5)  Her sex drive drove away about the same time she woke up 15 pounds heavier.  Deal with it.

6)  All that sweating is not burning calories so get the fork lift and help her off the sofa.... And stop with the "hunk of burning love" crap.

7)  Heart palpitations have absolutely nothing to do with you sitting in your boxers, drinking a beer and watching football. You are not the reason for her elevated heart-rate.  Sorry Romeo.

8)  Your wife can no longer sleep through the night.  Stop asking for a glass of water and leave her to wander the halls in peace.

9)  Agree with everything she says.  If you have a problem with that, feel free to move the the basement.  It's safer down there.

10)  A bare naked menopausal woman in the front yard making snow angels or a high powered air-conditioner?  Your choice.

Welcome to  -  Joanna
Copyright 2009

1 comment:

  1. HA! I fully intend to copy/paste this in an email to my husband :)


Thanks for stopping by and commenting, I really appreciate it.