Friday, March 13, 2009

Annual Check-ups

They are all done for another year!  It took me two months but my annual check-ups are complete.  Teeth cleaning, bone density, colonoscopy (Oy!), pap test, eye exam and today-- my mammogram.

As I sat against the wall, facing the window, in a long row of chairs it struck me as odd that about twenty women were all on display in the giant picture window of the mammogram office.  At street level, it had a huge, can't miss sign, announcing to all the world that we ladies were at the doc's office to get our annual breast smashing!  What's up with that?  Haven't they heard about curtains, vertical blinds, frosted glass?  For some reason I started humming How Much Is That Doggie In the Window?.

Women walking by had interesting looks on their faces as they stared at us in passing.  Some registered the reminder to make their annual appointment.  (Yeah!)  Others literally seemed to cringe knowing we had a date with a very cold hunk of machinery.  (Boo!)

And then there were the ones who stepped up their pace and walked faster-- past the window and straight into denial.  And you know who you are!  You, right there-- The one looking into the computer screen with denial written all over her face.  I'm talking to YOU!


Hello.  Anybody home?  Heeeelllloooo????  Knock, knock, denial calling!  Are you in there?  Time's a wasting girlfriend.  Tick, tick, tick.  I'm on to you.  Cue:  Jeopardy music.... do do dodo do, do do do...

I think you get my point.  But seriously.  I have war stories about a cherished friend who didn't get her mammogram for four years (!) and recently spent her 50th birthday in the hospital-- getting a mastectomy.  (Yes, holy shit!)  Thank god she is recovering but it was a major wake-up call for her and the sisterhood in her universe.  So I'm beating the drum, sounding the alarm and pointing fingers.   You!  The one who's not making the time to take care of herself, please-- stand up, dial the phone and go.  Now!

And please talk about this with your sisterhood universe.  It's an important and loving question to ask the women in your life. Afterwards you can "bond" over boob smashing jokes.

Have you had your annual mammogram yet?
Welcome to  -  Joanna


  1. Hi Joanna,

    Thanks for visiting my blog. I love yours too! I'm diligent about the mammograms, but still trying to gird my loins to make that first colonoscopy appointment. Not worried about the procedure, just hate the thought of wasting so much time on the toilet. Plus, I have a very strong gag reflex when it comes to icky liquids. Saw a great email going round recently, called "If Women Ruled the World." It featured something called the Man-o-Gram, and showed a man standing up close to a big gizmo, with his prized possession being smashed between two plates. If only!

  2. Ahh Becky... the dreaded colonoscopy. Trying looking at it this way... It's good for 3-5 pounds in one day! Go for it. Thanks for your comments.

  3. I LOVED my colonoscopy. In fact, so much so that I asked if I could come back at least one a year. NOT! It is icky, it's all icky.. But I am up next to make my mammo appt this week. Thanks for the reminder!

  4. I so loved this post and thanks for putting it on. I have a sister who was diagnosed at 36 with breast cancer (thankfully she is now almost 10 years cancer free) so I know the importance of yearly screening. I also lost my mom at age 47 to bowel cancer so regular colonosopyies are a must do as well. I've started an annual plug, I call them "Bum Plugs" to stress the importance of early screening. You may want to check it out at:


Thanks for stopping by and commenting, I really appreciate it.