Bubble Bath Time

The only time anyone ever wants to talk to me is when I'm in the tub taking a highly anticipated, much needed, and well-deserved bubble bath.

Tonight, after a long day of work; after the dishes and laundry were done, and my husband was happily parked in front of the big screen TV watching basketball, I run a hot bath and stepped into paradise-- just me, bubbles, and a few candles-- in perfect, quiet, bliss.  It's my happy place.

Before I could finish my first sigh of relaxation, my husband was knocking on the door with a game score update. 

Go away.

My second attempt to relax was interrupted by the phone ringing. My husband swings the door open and hands me the phone.  I shiver from the cold draft.  It's a political telemarketer! Apparently, hubby dear, is unable to screen calls.

Third try-- The neighbor kid calls selling chocolate bars for school.  Then my mother calls.

Fourth go 'round-- He's baaaccckkk asking if we have any ice cream-- as if ice cream would be somewhere other than in the freezer-- where he is perfectly capable of checking for himself.

Beat it buster! 

At last-- finally, peace and quiet.  The water is barely warm.  I close my eyes and....

"Hey honey, are we busy three weeks from Tuesday to have dinner with the kids?"

For the record, I do not, nor have I ever, taken my calender into the bathtub.  And while we're at it, "the kids" he's referring to are grown women probably trying to take a hot bath at that very moment.  

Get me a sharp object so I can end my misery!

At this point, I'm turning into a prune, the water is cold, the bubbles dissolved and my head aches.

I turn on more hot water in an attempt to salvage my sanctuary. You see, a long, hot, bubble bath is my escape from all things stressful; a way to relax my tired body and clear my throbbing head.  I do not like company in the bathtub, the bathroom or even that side of the house when I'm bathing.  I just want to be alone.  

My husband is at the door again.  Apparently I'd been in the bathtub for so long he asked if I was okay? 

 I'll be out as soon as I finish calculating my alimony payments.

Defeated, I pulled my soggy self up out of the tub and got dressed to join my husband in front of the TV--

At which point he had absolutely nothing to say to me.

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