Friday

 Thanks to Unknown Mami for taking over 

Fragmented Fridays this summer.  

(I tried 20 times to add the FF logo but for some reason Blogger kept spitting it out.) 

A very glamorous and successful lawyer friend of mine called me this morning to chat while she drove (hands free, of course) to work.  We both had a good laugh when we compared schedules.  Hers included a big client meeting, two depositions, lunch at Spago and another important meeting.  Mine included important meetings too... With the exterminator (ants!), plumber, painting contractor, and the guy who cleans our house gutters.  She said I was lucky not to be wearing a suit, panty hose and high heels on a 90 degree day.  I said she was lucky to have a meal she didn't have to cook herself.  It was one of those "the grass is greener on the other side" kind of moments even though we both knew we wouldn't want to change places.
 

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 I spotted this church sign the other day and it made me smile.

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I got "buzzed" and finished this quilt top yesterday.   (Get it?)  Quilting is a newer hobby for me that's cutting into my blogging time!  But, summer and warmer weather is coming so the sewing machine will be packed up soon until the Fall and I'll be online a lot more.

 (All fabric from my fave fabric store Sew Modern in Los Angeles.)

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And, you can still enter my GIVEAWAY for the Wizard of Otin's terrific book, In Blog We Trust.  Otin is one of the good guys in Blogland and getting his first novel published was a big deal.  YOU can win an autographed copy by Following me via Bloglovin'.  The button is on the top right of my page.  (Please Follow and leave a comment below that you did.)  Full Giveaway details are HERE.

And check out Otin's latest super scary novel 12:19 HERE.  It's a supernatural horror thrill that will have you sleeping with the lights on!  I'm in the middle of reading it now and loving it!  It's available on e-Reader.

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For more Fragmented Fridays, stop by and see Unknown Mami.

Have a great weekend!
Welcome to www.TheFiftyFactor.com - Joanna Jenkins 
Photo Credit: © peshkova - Fotolia.com and Michael Infinito

Blog Changes & a GIVEAWAY

The clock is ticking and July 1st, when Google Reader disappears, is fast approaching.  I was late to the party learning about this and have spent a long day trying to figure things out.  But alas, I've switched my RRS Feed to Bloglovin' and, if the buzz around Blogland is true, I've added the new "Follow Me on Bloglovin" button you see in the top right navigation bar just in case Google Friend Connect disappears too.

So, to kick things off and ask you to pretty please click on my Bloglovin' Follow button, I'm having a Giveaway!

But first--  If you haven't made an RSS feeder change yet, you need too or you'll lose all the blogs you follow.  Yikes!  Here's the helpful blog that assisted me in making the switch-- Jilly Be Joyful.  I found her instructions very easy to follow.  But one thing--  I was not able to make the switch on Foxfire, I had to go through the process on Safari-- why I don't know, but if the switch not working on your usual system, try another one.

So about that Giveaway...  Thanks to the generosity of the awesome blogger, The Wizard of Otin, I have an autographed copy of his novel In Blog We Trust.  I found it to be a fast-paced thriller loaded with suspense, murder and a little sex, all tied a very mysterious blog that had people doing crazy things...  It's terrific and I think you'll enjoy it.

All you have to do to win is leave a comment letting me know you FOLLOWED ME ON BLOGLOVIN'--  Just click that button on the top of my Nav Bar in the upper right corner.

I've been reading Otin's scary stories on his blog for the past nearly 4 years and LOVE THEM.  He's a blogger who followed his dream and was able to publish not one, but TWO novels--  How awesome is that!  

Otin latest novel, 12:19 is available on e-Reader format NOW and is so scary I can only read it with all the lights on and when my husband is home!  Here's a little tidbit about his new book 12:19...

12:19…The time has been set…
Violet and Johnny Dotson pull up stakes and relocate to the beautiful countryside near Asheville, North Carolina in an attempt at starting their lives over after series of miscarriages. Unbeknownst to them they have actually been summoned there by a higher power.
Locked away in a mountaintop mental institution, J.C., a mysterious man who was the only survivor found at the scene of a brutal murder/suicide, will only utter five words… “I am the son of God.”
Strange events centered around the unknown patient spur Detective Tom Drayton to connect several bizarre deaths to the time of 12:19.
Armed with an old priest’s advice and a touch of new found faith, Tom follows a path that could very well lead him to the destruction of all mankind.  But is he doing God’s bidding, or could he in fact be the dreaded serpent himself?
12:19…The clock is ticking….

One of the darkest things you'll ever read!  Order info is HERE.

See, I told you it was scary!  Even the cover with that snake gives me the willies. 

The Giveaway closes at Midnight PT July 4th.  Otin will ship In Blog We Trust directly to the winner.  You must have a blog to enter and make sure I can reach you via email if you win.

So come on-- Enter to win The Wizard of Otin's (aka Michael Infinito) In Blog We Trust.  Again, all you have to do is click on the "Bloglovin's Follow Button on the top right navigation bar.

What RSS feed are you switching to?
Welcome to www.TheFiftyFactor.com - Joanna Jenkins
Photo Credit: Michael Infinito
Photo Credit: © allapen - Fotolia.com

Lights Please

Lately, my "to-do" list seems never ending with each new day bringing one more "to-do" to the party.

It all started in late October when a burglar (or two) spent time in our home turning the place upside down in search of, what I'm assuming they thought-- based on the ransacked mess, was buried treasure.  Every stitch of clothing and personal items in our bedroom were thrown about in such a mess that I'm STILL sorting, cleaning and washing trying to get their disgusting sweaty palms off our stuff.

Along the way I've learned a lot, and I've become a little too freaked out about the whole thing...

-Take photos of ALL your possessions and your entire home, room by room, closet by closet-- Literally, use your fancy cell phone camera and start taking pictures.  Gawd forbid you ever need them, but if you do, you'll be glad you did.

-Then make time to take "good" photos of your most cherished items (like jewelry?).  Place them on a solid colored surface so they show up well and take photos at different angles and with a ruler in the shot so the size is noted.

-Make a note of the serial numbers for anything that has them-- like your computer, and keep copies in few different places not just on your computer.

-And, turn on the outside lights, at least at your front door, at night.  The police said to turn the radio on when I leave the house during the day too.  The more you do the greater the chance burglars will go elsewhere.

I'm all about lights these days.  All.  About.  LIGHTS!

Yes, I now have 6 sets of exterior floodlight-- 2 lights per set-- 120 watts per bulb.  They automatically turn on from dusk til dawn with a 50 watt light.  Not huge but enough to "glow".  But, if a leaf falls, a hummingbird passes by or a car drives down the street, the yard is lit up like a maximum security prison.  I love it!

At night when we watch TV, we can see three sets of the lights though the windows-- front yard and two on the side yard.  All night long it's as if a child were flicking the light switches on and off, on and off, on and off, every three minutes.  I've never gotten such a workout because every time the light comes on I'm up and checking out the windows.  I can only imagine what our electric bill will be and, um, how long the senor lights last before husband unscrews the bulbs.

In other news..

The "mouse" and by "mouse" I mean it's much larger and significantly uglier "cousin" who took up residence in our master bathroom days before a big dinner party is now history.  He was as unwelcome as the burglars and cost me...

-4 trips to the hardware store, each time getting bigger, and bigger, and bigger traps to catch him
-1 trip to the grocery for more apples-- which seemed to be our "guests" food of choic
-1 trip to garage for a shovel to scoop up the "guest" (trap attached) 24 hours before dinner party
-20 minutes to get the nerve to actually go near the deceased "guest" with shovel
-5 hours of scrubbing the "mouse motel" from top to bottom.

The fund-raiser dinner party was certainly the highlight of the last several weeks and thank gawd the "mouse" was gone well before any guests arrived.  Husband and I agreed that this was probably the nicest gathering of people we've ever had at out home.   (No offense to family and friends.) Of course we didn't know a single person but by the end of the evening, we'd made many new friends.  It was really a treat.

And the best news of all-- You can still enter my giveaway for one of these beautiful ornaments.  Just leave a comment below and you're entered!  Easy peasy.  For more chances to enter CLICK HERE!  Giveaway ends at midnight PT, December 15th. 

Is your house "lit up" for the holidays?
Welcome to www.TheFiftyFactor.com  -  Joanna Jenkins  
Photo Credit: © VRD - Fotolia.com

Uninvited Guest & GIVEAWAY

Thursday night our house will be jammed packed for a fund-raiser supporting a charity close to our hearts.  And I mean jammed packed!

The food will be plentiful, wine will flow, and if everyone shows up that have RSVP'd, it will be standing room only... Which is not exactly what I'd planned.  Of course when invitations were mailed, we were hopeful all would attend but the reality is our house isn't that big... And, this is a fund-raiser, on a week night, and the odds of 100% participation are usually slim to none. 

Call me one lucky (or crazy) girl but I have my fingers crossed that a big turnout means a lot of much need funds will be raised.

But...one uninvited dinner guest has already arrived-- Two days early!  And he (gawd, I'm praying it's a HE) is very hungry.

Bright and early Tuesday morning, my husband called me into the kitchen with a tone of voice usually reserved for big scary spiders that he wants me to deal with.  I padded in still blurry-eyed, expecting to remove the creepy crawling bugger, but instead he asked if I'd recently eaten an apple-- Which I definitely had not.

Upon closer examination, I realized, based on the teeth marks, that we had a good sized mouse (please gawd, not a rat) hanging out in our kitchen.

Damn it!

Several traps smeared with peanut butter were immediately set-- Traps leftover from a mouse scare about this time last year.  There were no mice then, but there is no doubt at least one mouse is definitely in our house now!  (Please, please, please gawd, just one!)

But the traps in the kitchen did not work and last night as were were getting ready for bed, mouse poop greeted us on our bathroom sink.  At that point I was totally creeped out and there was absolutely no way I was sleeping in our adjacent bedroom. 

About the time my husband rolled his eyes at me for the third time arguing that we did not have to sleep upstairs in the guest room, the little black mouse, now fattened up by all the apples he's eaten in the last 36 hours, ran across the room and back into the bathroom.  To say that got my husband's attention is an understatement.

We slammed the doors closed, ran for the traps in the kitchen, reset them in the bathroom-- now that our critter was captive, and banged around so the mouse would stay under the vanity until we were out of the bathroom.  We slept peacefully in the guest room sure we'd have a fat mouse in one of the many traps in the morning.

We did not.  No mouse, but all traps were snapped closed and peanut butter foot prints were everywhere. 

Today my dear, fearless friend has arrived to take matters into her own hands.  As I type this post, she's locked in the bedroom in search of the mouse.  She's talking to the rodent in a nice sweet voice as she digs through my closet, under my sink, and through the vanity.  I can hear her taking the bed linens off, and working methodically through the rooms.  Every now and then she shouts her progress to me on the opposite side of the door-- Lots of poop, everywhere.  I can't believe she's doing this.  What a great friend.

My fingers and toes are all crossed that she's successful, at which point I will be eternally grateful and in her debt for the rest of my life.  If, by chance, the fat pain in my behind has left the bedroom and moved to other parts of the house, I'm prepared with all of this...

The party is tomorrow night.  If we are not successful I can just imagine-- The buffet table fulled with tri-tip sliders, grilled salmon, numerous side dishes, and the big, fat, black mouse racing from dish to dish on the buffet thinking he's hit the mother load of food, and not caring one bit about the 40+ people gasping in shock.  That outta motivate people to reach for their checkbooks, don't you think? 

Oh.  My.  Gawd!  These traps better work-- Fast.

Any advice?
Welcome to www.TheFiftyFactor.com
Photo credit: © cienpiesnf - Fotolia.com

 GIVEAWAY!

 Don't forget to enter my GIVEAWAY to win one of these gorgeous ornaments!  Leave a comment on this post to enter.  And CLICK HERE for Giveaway details and another chance to win!

Seeing Red and GIVEAWAY!

 Like so many Sundays in the past, I made my usual mile and a half circle around the neighborhood doing errands-- dry cleaners, bank ATM, pharmacy, breakfast at the deli with my husband, then off to grocery shop.  I prefer to stay in the neighborhood and support the smaller, local business whenever I can.

But maybe not anymore.

All the people at the above mentioned stops know me by name and I know most all of the employees.  Like the guy at the dry cleaner... 

As Mario, the high school senior, sorted through my small armload of clothes, a pair of my panties fell to the floor.  I'm not sure which one of us was more embarrassed at the sight, but I know for sure that I could feel the heat on my face as it turned three shades of red.. to match the color of my panties.

We had one of those awkward moments before I reached to the floor to snatch them up and stuffed them into my purse-- Cuz let's face it, they'd been worn and well.... Ewww!  As you might imagine, I got out of there as quickly as possible, panties in my purse, and went on about my business.

For the next 90 minutes I made my rounds, opening my purse to get out my wallet to pay at each place of business.  Once at home again, after the groceries had been unpacked and put away, I went to my purse to retrieve the red panties and--

WHT?!?

They were gone, which obviously means I'd unknowingly left them behind at one of my errands when I opened my purse.

At that moment I'm not sure which I felt--  Relieved that the panties were at least the nice ones and not a gigantic pair of granny panties-- Mortified that my undies were in an unknown location for some poor soul (that I know!) to discover-- Or worse, someone knew they belonged to me but was too embarrassed to tell me to pick them up!

And this is NOT an April Fool's Day joke.  It's totally for real. 

Dare I retrace my steps and see if I can locate the missing garment so no one else has to handle them?  Perhaps they've been kicked under a counter, hung on the sign by the ATM machine, in the parking lot of the pharmacy, on the floor under a table at the deli or in the frozen food section of the market. 

Or do I call it a day and chalk it up to... to... to...  what would you call this anyway???

Big sigh.  I think I'll stay put and pray the next time I drive down the Boulevard I don't see them flapping in the wind. 

Happy Sunday everyone.
Welcome to www.TheFiftyFactor.com  -  Joanna Jenkins

DON'T FORGET TO ENTER MY GIVEAWAY.

 WIN THIS GORGEOUS SPRING WREATH!  

CLICK HERE TO ENTER!

Photo Credit: © Yael Weiss - Fotolia.com

Flowers and a NEW GIVEAWAY!

One of the perks, in my five year old mind, for taking ballet lessons was getting to wear a beautiful tutu.  I wanted a pink one more than words could say and I just assumed it would magically appear at my first dance class.

It did not.

But I was a patient albeit fidgety dancer-- positive I would someday be a famous ballerina with a closet filled with tutus, so I waited... thinking at the end of the dance class year I would have "earned" my magnificent tutu, like an angel earns their wings, in time for our dance recital.

No tutu then either.  Not by a mile.

In preparation for our dance recital, which was to be performed on a huge stage with a gigantic audience of about 100 family members, we budding prima ballerinas sat on the floor at our dance studio and received two pink Kleenex tissues and a couple of pieces of string.

There, our five year old hands worked diligently to make tissue carnation flowers.  We carefully folded the tissue into a fan, then folded it in half, tired the string around the center, and fluffed the tissue ends into a "flower".  My flowers looked more like a couple of used Kleenex on their way to the trash but I'd done my best.

When I asked my elegant ballet teacher, who happened to be dressed in a lovely chiffon tutu, what the "flowers" were for, she happily handed me a red plastic head band to attach my "flowers" onto thereby making my dance recital costume to match my red leotard.

My young mind raced-- This could not possibly be my costume.  I wanted a tutu and I wanted it for the dance recital-- now!  As soon as I realized that was not going to happen, I became a very disappointed ballerina with crocodile tears rolling down my face.  In fact, I have vague memories of my mother dragging me, kicking and screaming, to the recital where the idea of wearing those hideous Kleenex flowers in my hair left me in a puddle on the back seat of the car.

At that early stage of my life I learned a hard lesson about expectations.  I also learned I was not a great flower maker but I did have the potential to be a pretty good ballet dance-- which I did til my early 20s....  right up until I realized I enjoyed cheeseburgers, boys and mini skirts far better than I enjoyed blistered feet, salads and tutus.

I hadn't thought of those tissue flowers until I saw one of Attila's flower wreaths.  My flowers were a far cry from the gorgeous ones Attila's posse of creative geniuses makes.  Their handmade flowers are turned into these stunning wreaths-- AND YOU CAN WIN ONE!

SPRING WREATH GIVEAWAY!

Courtesy of Attila the Mom at Cheaper Than Therapy and her fantastic Highland Roses Collaborative Craft Studio, this happy 14" wreath-- with handmade hot pink and purple flowers with green leaf accents, would be a welcome addition to your Spring decorations, or make a nice gift to brighten up a dorm or hospital room, wish someone a happy birthday, or just remind a loved one that you're thinking of them.

It could be YOURS-  Entering is EASY.

Giveaway is available to everyone, EVERYWHERE, as long as you have a blog.  Attila will ship the wreath to you anywhere in the world-- How nice is that!

Leave one comment below to enter.

For a second chance, stop by the designer's shopping store HERE and leave a second comment below telling me which is your favorite wreath.

Giveaway ends, at Midnight, Pacific Time, April 5th.  Be sure I can reach you via email.

Come on-- Check out the Spring Wreaths and ENTER!
Welcome to www.TheFiftyFactor.com  -  Joanna Jenkins 

I was not compensated for this giveaway.  It's a generous offer from a blog friend that I am passing on to you.
Photo Credit: © evgeniya_m - Fotolia.com

In Other News...

I've been feeling sorry for myself lately as I muddle through a nasty cold and flu.  In all honestly, I'm used to being sick and thought I'd mastered the art of laying low and recovering.  But this bug is kicking my butt so please excuse me for being so late in announcing my GIVEAWAY WINNER....

You remember my giveaway of this beautiful custom designed necklace from Izzy at Under The Copper Sky, right?

Congratulations to HOLLY at Your Mother Know But Won't Tell You.  

Please stop by and visit each of these bloggers.  Izzy is a lovely writer and designs gorgeous jewelry and Holly is one of my earliest blog buddies whose writing is thought provoking, inspiring and sometimes a little bit snarky-- just the way I like it.

 ***** 

In other news, before I was coughing up a lung, I stopped by my local dry cleaners and walked in on a gigantic mess.  The usually very organized and efficient shop was all in a dither because their computer crashed, and after four very long days of trying to recover their info, it seems, sadly, that it's a total loss. Everything is gone.

Staff was going through the laborious task of removing numerically filed miles of cleaned laundry off their massive two-story conveyor belt and refiling them alphabetically.  It's hard to describe the task because it was gigantic-- including requiring an enormous tent in the parking lot filled with rented racks to hold the laundry.

Why share this news with you?  It's a brutal reminder of how important it is to back up your computer on a regular basis-- Which it turns out, is something this dry cleaners never did!

*****

Yesterday, Godson's mom picked him up early from school for a dental appointment.  But before they could drive across town to the appointment they had to stop at a fast food place for him to use the bathroom.  When asked why he "didn't go at school" he informed his mother that the bathrooms are locked except at meal time.

It's true too.  We called and checked.

This is a public high school where kids can't use the bathroom between classes because of "undesirable activities".  I didn't bother asking what that meant because I was pretty sure it wasn't just "smoking in the bathroom" like in my days at school.

I'm still scratching my head over that one.... and angry about it on so many levels.  Sheesh.

 *****

I hope to be back soon and healthy again.  Until then, as my mother would say-- "Cover your mouth when you cough so you don't get everyone else sick."

Welcome to www.TheFiftyFactor.com  -  Joanna Jenkins
Photo Credit: Under The Copper Sky and © Michael Pettigrew - Fotolia.com

Cheesecake Malfunction

You’ve probably heard the old saying “too many hands in the soup spoils the pot”, right? Well, in my case it wasn’t a pot, it was a freshly baked cheesecake.

I yiyi. (Oh and, Blogger is still having it's way with me--not saving posts and making font sizes crazy. Sorry.)

I was making Valentine’s dinner for my husband and four friends-- Short ribs, carrots and potatoes, all slowly cooked in the oven until the beef fell apart with the touch of a fork and the carrots and baby potatoes bathed in the flavors of deliciousness from the wine, rosemary and thyme gravy. It was seriously good if I do say so myself.

It’s a cold weather kind of dinner and a much heavier meal than this crowd usually eats, but it was a special occasion and I thought we could break our diets for one night.

We’re those people waiters and waitresses hate-- The kind that either only orders appetizers for a main course or worse-- each couple shares a meal. Oh, and none of us drink alcohol so a table for 6 really boils down to cheap dates and small dinner checks. But we do tip well to make up for it.

Anyway, for Valentine’s we were going to have potatoes and gravy and more calories than usual so of course I decided to go for the gusto and make a cheesecake too. I figured, if we’re going to blow the diets we might as well go all the way and spend extra time on the treadmill later.

At least that was the plan. And then, with very sore hands and wrists from arthritis, I mistakenly pulled the cheesecake out of the oven too fast and nearly dropped it. The only thing that saved it from falling was by grabbing the cake by the bottom and the top-- juggling it on my oven mitts as if in slow motion until I finally made my way to the countertop.

The end result was my giant oven mitt handprint smack in the middle of the cheesecake.

Not very appetizing.

No, I didn’t take a picture to share like a good blogger would. I was too busy curing like a drunken sailor while I mopped up cheesecake off my kitchen rug and floor. You see, after I smashed my mitt into the cheesecake that sucker became hotter than hot and I flipped it off my hand-- Which of course meant the mitt landed cheesecake side down on my floor.

Three pounds of cream cheese, two pints of sour cream and way too much sugar to admit later, I decided the universe was telling me to pay attention to our diets (and hearts, and sugar levels, and weight, and cholesterol, and everything else that goes with not eating fattening cheesecake) and did not rush to the supermarket to buy duplicate ingredients to start all over again.

Nope, for Valentine’s we had a wonderful short ribs dinner and fresh raspberries for dessert-- no sugar added.

Don’t forget to enter my 3rd Anniversary Giveaway. There's still time-- Giveaway ends at midnight PT February 17th. CLICK HERE TO ENTER!

What's your favorite cold weather dinner?

Welcome to www.TheFiftyFactor.com - Joanna Jenkins

Photo Credit: © Trevor Allen - Fotolia.com

Cake?

Did you ever go on the hunt for something in your house-- You know you have it, it's big and usually in the way-- You see it all the time, but when you actually need to put your hands on it, you can't for the life of you find it?

Welcome to my world.

The item in question: A huge cake plate with a glass dome similar to the one pictured above. It weighs a ton and is only used once or twice a year. It's great when I need it but when I don't it's a monstrosity that becomes a pain in the you know what to store because of it's awkward size

It belongs to my BFF-- I store it for her because, well, it's so big she doesn't have room for it and, I use it sometimes. When she needs it-- which is almost never, she picks it up and brings it back when she's finished. She and I do this a lot since I live in a house that was previously owned and designed by a crazy woman that built the house around closets and storage. I'm lucky-- I have plenty of storage space.

When the cake plate first arrived in our home, I remember finding the perfect cabinet to put it and realized that if I turned the base upside down and put the dome on upside down that it turns into a huge bowl and I can stack stuff inside thereby not taking up so much wasted space.

When I discovered this trick, I remember thinking I was absolutely brilliant and was very pleased with myself. Little did I know it was intended to be a dual cake plate/punch bowl. *Ahem*

Today's problem-- Or rather the problem I realized at midnight last night I had was, I couldn't remember where I put the dang thing and BFF was coming in the morning to pick it up for a big party she's having.

So there I was in the dark of night, opening every cupboard in the kitchen, pantry, laundry room and garage. I've seen that cake plate and dome so many times that I knew it had something red inside. I searched and searched but the more I did the more I felt like I was staring right at it. After all, I see it All. The. Time! but now it was no where to be found.

Obsessed, I search until 2am before I gave up.

At 7:30am this morning, blurry-eyed, I opened the first cabinet in my kitchen and there, with bags full of plastic red silverware inside, was the cake plate and dome. Right in front of my nose.

I hate when that happens!

*****

A big congratulations to PJ of Seens From The Backs Of My Eyelids for winning my Enjoy Every Sandwich book and $25 Visa gift card giveaway! Please do pay her a visit. I'm a big fan and regular reader of her blog.

*****

And a huge thank you to Davine from 53 Buddhas And Me who made me this beautiful beaded "I Can Do Anything" affirmation bracelet. It came all the way from Australia! With it was a message about her beading that made me smile.... She said "The reason all of my beads are relatively the same is because basically all of humanity is the same but, as you will notice, there is one bead that is different. That is your individual bead." I like that. Thank you Davine! Click HERE to see more of Davine's jewelry.

*****

It's hard to believe but my 3rd Blog Anniversary is coming up! Sheesh, time flies. I'm planning a celebration so be on the look-out February 10th!

Welcome to www.TheFiftyFactor.com - Joanna Jenkins

Cake Plate Photo Credit: William Sonoma

The Ugly Quilt & Last Chance For Giveaway!

I didn't plan it and I sure didn't think it would turn out this way, but I just finished a quilt that is U.G.L.Y.

How ugly you ask?

Very!

It started out simple enough. A lap size quilt to have in our bedroom for afternoon naps. Twelve inch long strips of fabric, in four different widths, and EIGHTEEN different colors.

A nice idea but not for the color challenged, which in this case would be moi.

To make matters worse, I realised the 12 inch strips turned into 12 inch blocks. That was disappointing because I thought this was a more "challenging" quilt with more intricate piecing.

Call me guilty as charged because mistakes like that are what happens when you don't read the directions-- A detail I definitely failed to do.

Once I got started I soon realized how color challenged I really am. I sewed and sewed and sewed but all the colors became muddy and unattractive together. So I ripped and ripped and ripped it all out and bought more fabric in brighter colors to add in.

I sewed miles of strips, piecing it all together into a much, much bigger than I ever planned quilt.... Which didn't make it any more attractive. Oh no, no, no it did not. It was just a bigger, uglier, more expensive quilt that would definitely not be going in our bedroom.

I decided to finish the quilt anyway and donate it a charity-- There are lots out there that ask for new quilts. Maybe there is someone that's as color challenged as I am who might like it. Or maybe I can find a charity for color-blind people. *Ahem*

After it was all said and done, I laid the quilt out on the floor to decide how I would bind the edges.

That's when I realized the quilt was now so big that I could actually cut the "Ugly Quilt" in half and make not one, but TWO lap size "Ugly Quilts" out of it thereby allowing two people to each have "Ugly Quilts".

I some how thought if I took the time to make two quilts out of the one they would be half as ugly.

Sadly, that was not the case. Ugly is as Ugly does.

The quilt will stay in the closet and not be donated to a charity. There's something about knowingly donating "ugly" to charity that just doesn't feel right.

*****

This may be an odd question, but have you ever thought about the Hepatitis C virus and how easily the disease can be transmitted? I asked Dr. Douglas Dieterich, M.D. and blogged about it over HERE. Please check it out if you have a minute.

*****

And don't forget my GIVEAWAY ends at Midnight, January 20th. Did you enter? $25 Visa Gift Card and two copies of the book Enjoy Every Sandwich. Click HERE.

Welcome to www.TheFiftyFactor.com - Joanna Jenkins

And Then I Said "Duh".... and GIVEAWAY

I told you about the recent robberies in my neighborhood in this post and how I was wearing every piece of jewelry I own so as not to make it easy for the @#$%^&! robbers to steal my loot.

Well... That's not all I did. I became very proactive and, in addition to blasting dvds featuring loud barking pooches to trick would be robbers into thinking I had a house full of attack dogs, I also bought a big red lock for the side gate that leads to our back yard. My thinking was that anything to slow down the bad guys was a good thing.

I picked a big bright red lock for our 6 foot high gate-- The new gate we had custom made last summer that was bigger, stronger and more secure than our old 6 foot high gate. We thought the robberies were a good reason to finally get a good lock. The red color was selected because it really stood out on the white fence and seemed more serious looking then the others.

Truly, my red lock made me feel so much safer that I've actually left the house a few time without an annoying dog movie blasting.

I knew the lock would be a problem for the gardener so I was on top of things and made sure he had a key so he could come and go as needed. But, I forgot about the pool guy who comes once a week.

Oophs.

So yesterday, several weeks after the purchase of my big strong lock, I called our pool guy-- A lovely man who's been servicing our pool for the past 12 years. I never know when he works but I know he does because the pool sparkles 365 days a year-- I've always assumed he came the same time the gardener did because they're friends.

The pool guy was so sweet and actually seemed happy to hear from me. What I didn't realize when I called his cell phone was that he was actually on our property cleaning the pool-- A day the gardener was not at our house. Strange because I hadn't given him a key to our new "security gate".

What the heck?!?!? Had someone forgotten to lock the gate? Or gawd forbid, was the big red lock broken?

I wish!

The pool guy simply stepped around the "security gate"-- WITH his very long cleaning pole, gigantic hose and a bunch of chemicals in a bucket.

WTH?

So I went outside and took a long hard look at my new security gate and realized it was a complete and total joke-- A fake "security gate", useless other than to hide the garbage cans. Even I could step around it and I'm old and afraid of heights.

The big strong gate is attached to a cement wall with three large steps to help would-be robbers, and nice pool guys, up and over into the back yard! It's not secure AT ALL!

Did I mention we've lived here for 18 years and never noticed what a joke the gate was?

Did I mention that we paid $400 to have the new big strong gate built for "security reasons"?

Did I mention that the guy who sold me the gate kept a straight face when he discussed the "big strong security gate" with me?

Did I mention how stupid I feel?

Needless to say, the red security lock is a total waste and gone... But the dog dvds continues to play over and over and over.

Welcome to www.TheFiftyFactor.com - Joanna Jenkins

Don't forget to enter my GIVEAWAY for a $25 Visa Gift Card and two copies of Enjoy Every Sandwich. Click HERE to Enter.

Photo Credit: © baurka - Fotolia.com

Drum Roll Please...

And the winner of my Silver, Gold and Cash Giveaway is....

Tammy at Hot Flashes In The Desert

A million thanks to all who entered. I really appreciate it. Please know how meaningful it is to me that you participated and that you learned more about Attila The Mom's great company, Highland Roses Design. The ornaments designed and made by her crew are truly stunning. If you haven't checked them out yet, please do. Below are the ornaments I purchased.

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In other happy giveaway news, I found out this morning that I was the lucky winner of This Stop Willoughby's giveaway presented by Novica in Association with National Geographic. I was able to purchase a beautiful shawl with my gift card. THANKS!

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I type this with several paper-cuts on my hands from wrapping holiday packages for shipping to my family back home in Ohio. They will laugh out loud when the boxes arrive. I think I used nearly an entire role of packing tape to secure the boxes.

Instead of focusing on the task at hand-- positioning three, maybe four, pieces of tape per box, I was thinking about my sweet Step-Dad Dave who passed away in July.

Dave was a meticulous packer. When my mother-in-law passed away a few years ago, Baby Sister baked her famous peanut butter chocolate chip cookies for us and Dave wrapped them so carefully for FedEx that not a single cookie broke in the cross-country shipment.

Tears are rolling down my face as I think back on it. I miss my family and the holiday blues are starting to sink in.... Tis the season.

Big sigh.

Are you ready for the holidays?

Welcome to www.TheFiftyFactor.com - Joanna Jenkins

Bye-Bye

I'm blaming it on my high school boyfriend, Roy-- He had no telephone manners whatsoever. At the end of our countless conversations-- you know the high school kind with long pauses, mindless chit-chat and lengthy monologues all about him-- When I'd say it was time to wrap things up to start my homework he'd say "Okay." followed by a CLICK.

He'd just hang up.

No parting with sweet sorrow, no see you later alligator, not even a single syllable "bye". Roy would simply drop the old fashioned, big, clunky telephone receiver into the cradle with a loud clunk.

I hated that and never forgot it. I've made it a point not to be that-- what would you call it-- rude, thoughtless, annoying, whatever. I'd make sure people I was connecting with knew I was saying a proper "good-bye."

So long story short, that's why 99% of the time I sign-off on my blog comments with my initials and why I sign my name at the end of each post-- That's my "good-bye" so to speak.

But, in the era of Internet shorthand, I'm one of the very few who does it-- And since my name, like yours, announces myself loud and clear before my comment, it's a bit redundant and stating to make me feel a little foolish, like I'm taking up too much space or something.

Hmm, what's a girl-- with a longstanding habit, to do. I'm not sure yet.

But I do know there are only a few days left to enter my

Silver, Gold and Cash Giveaway!

You could win a gorgeous handmade ornament and a $50 Visa Gift Card!

Giveaway ends at Midnight, Pacific Time, December 10, 2011.

All you have to do is leave a comment below on THIS POST telling me if you prefer the silver or gold ornament pictured here if your win. For full contest details CLICK HERE.

Anyone, anywhere can enter, not just in the USA. So come on and join in!

The gorgeous ornaments are from Attila The Mom at Cheaper Than Therapy who heads up an awesome organization that's a privately-funded project providing individuals who live with disabilities and/or mental illness as well as the family caregiver an opportunity to step towards independence through the sale of their own art and crafts creations. Each distinctive ornament is produced by several sets of hands-- all working to create something special.

Click here for details for a 10% discount on all ornaments. I ordered several and trust me, they are stunning and very reasonably priced.

Come on, please enter the Giveaway and please check out the beautiful ornaments.

Welcome to www.TheFiftyFactor.com - Joanna Jenkins

Photo Credit: © Andrey Zyk - Fotolia.com

A Big What!?! and $$$ Giveaway

It took a long moment for his words to register in my brain, his thick Russian accent playing tricks on my ears, or so I thought....

"You have very big poops."

He said it several times in response to the alarmed look on my face...

"Very big poops! Not good."

Standing in my living room, I took a step back, almost in self defense, and to distance myself from the potential conversation this near stranger was attempting to have with me. Joseph had been washing my windows, inside and out, for the past ten years but we were hardly on friendly enough terms for this type of chit-chat.

Again, with one last ditch effort to help me understand he said...

"YOU.

HAVE.

VERY.

BIG.

POOPS!"

...As if saying it slower and louder would make it easier for my brain to comprehend.

And then he held up his hand to show me, his thick fingers unfolding to reveal mouse poop.

Oh thank gawd!

Seriously, the first thing I thought was that now I didn't have to find a new window washer because I definitely would not hire a poop talking guy again, but alas, it was only mouse poop.

Phew!

Then the words sunk in. Mouse poop!

WTH?!?

Joseph found the "big poops", three small droppings, upstairs in my office. That meant the "mouse" was INSIDE my house-- In fact, it was on the floor next to my sewing machine.

Instantly my head hurt.

Thirty minutes later I was at Ace Hardware buying mouse traps in small, medium and large sizes to capture the pooping pest and get it the hell out of my house. Eleven traps ought to do it, don't you think? (I hope, I hope!)

But before I raced to the store, I closed my bedroom door-- Right after I scoured it high and low for any trace of mouse droppings. There were none, thank gawd, otherwise I'd have to move into a hotel until the deed was done and the mouse, which, in my imagination was growing by leaps and bounds, lived elsewhere.

So now here I sit, with legs crossed under me so there isn't the slightest possibility of our four-legged friend scurrying over my feet to get to the peanut butter filled traps. And yes, I have said several sincere prayers that the traps are indeed for a mouse and not it's much larger cousin.

Ewww.

*****

Don't forget to enter my GIVEAWAY to win either the gorgeous Silver or Gold Ornaments featured in this post along with a $50 Visa Gift Card!

All you have to do is leave a comment over HERE telling me which color ornament you'd like if you win. You can ALSO leave a comment below on this post for an additional chance/entry. Plus-- Lots more entry chances if you Follow and blog about the giveaway too. Full Details are HERE.

Ornaments courtesy of the awesome Attila The Mom at Cheaper Than Therapy and her posse who live with disabilities and/or mental illnesses as well as their family caregivers. All are taking a step towards independence through the sale of their own arts and crafts creations. In short-- It's an inspiring cause and well worth checking out HERE.

Any secrets to scaring away mice? I mean mouse, please god, let there only be one!

Welcome to www.TheFiftyFactor. com - Joanna Jenkins

photo credit: © Marek - Fotolia.com