First was the fact, and I can't stress the word "fact" enough-- that WalMart shipped huge quantities of strawberry Pop-Tarts to Florida-- during a hurricane-- Because apparently, when Mother Nature smacks people upside the head, Pop-Tarts are the food of choice.
The second alarming "fact" was that WalMart had statistical and historical data to prove the wildly insane increase in sales of strawberry Pop-Tarts to justify driving 18-wheelers full of the stuff into the eye of the storm! I'm sure this says something about the "people of WalMart", the American public in general and Pop-Tarts' marketing strategy, but seriously-- The pink ones? Not the chocolate or the brown sugar cinnamon ones? And why Pop-Tarts of all things?
The third and final alarming above the fold "fact" in the LA Times that day was a headline screaming-- in all capital letters to drive the point home even further-- GET READY TO RUMBLE, about new data strongly suggesting a major Southern California earthquake-- in the 8.1 magnitude range, is coming our way.
Regular readers of this space will know information of this nature sends chills down my spine and reminds me yet again, why I do not like living on the West Coast, especially Los Angeles, which would be hugely impacted by the next "big one" discussed in this news story. In short, I hate earthquakes and this article, with descriptions like "grim", "dangerous" and my favorite-- "sleeping giant" makes me want to head for the hills-- on the East Coast.
The separate and unrelated articles gave me serious enough pause that I saved them to reread upon return from my recent vacation-- When I was more rested and relaxed. Problem was, I thought of this information several times while I was away and wondered if the editors at the Times deliberately intended for the alarming facts to be positioned together, on the same front page, leaving me to conclude...
I will be eating pink Pop-Tarts after a massive earthquake in the very near future.
Not Cheez Wiz. Not canned Spam. Not Cocoa Puffs cereal. Not baked beans with little wieners in it. No, I will be eating strawberry Pop-Tarts in my time of crisis, which, according to WalMart data, is the breakfast, lunch, and dinner of champions when the chips are down. How depressing is that!
Don't get me wrong, the fear of a ginormous earthquake does not go unnoticed. I take it and earthquake preparedness very seriously, but I can assure you that, as far as food is concerned, my emergency nourishment stash does not include a single Pop-Tart, let alone pink ones, no matter what WalMart's computerized data says. In fact, they never even crossed my mind.
I do have tons of bottled water, apple juice, powdered milk and instant coffee. Boxes of mac and cheese, canned soups, pasta and sauce, dried fruits, nuts and the likes are all on hand too, rotated every six months for freshness. And granted, Kraft Macaroni and Cheese is only a slight notch above Pop-Tarts but at least I've seen it served on the Kid's Menu in restaurants.
Ideally, if I could keep a supply of comfort food on hand for a crisis, it would include all the makings of a Thanksgiving dinner, gourmet pizza, endless quantities of chocolate cake and my Mom's meatloaf, but obviously that's not going to happen. So I'll stick with the above mentioned "instant foods" and pray I don't see a convoy of Pop-Tart trucks pulling into my nearest FEMA or Red Cross rescue station when the "big one" hits.
Then again, maybe I should buy a couple boxes of the chocolate Pop-Tarts just to be on the safe side.
Welcome to www.TheFiftyFactor.com - Joanna Jenkins
PS I'm just back from vacation and will be making the rounds to catch up with all of you over the next week.