Tuesday, December 8, 2009

To Be 16 Again...


Dear Younger Self,

The good news is that it's the summer before your senior year of high school and you've finally reached that magical age-- 16! The bad news is you have to spend six weeks in Summer School taking Driver's Education classes which starts at 7:30am. Early mornings are not, nor will they ever be, your favorite time of day, especially during summer vacation.

But it's not the early morning memories that will linger with you for the next twenty years, it's the Driver's Ed class itself-- The class you were so excited to take but in the end gave you nightmares-- The class that scared you too much to drive until you were nearly 20 years old-- The class that caused you to miss so many incredible adventures.

Driver's Education, in 1975, consisted of a manual with the driving laws for the State of Ohio that you will study on your own in preparation for the written State exam. Time actually driving in a car will be very limited and scheduled a few afternoons per week. The four hours of daily classroom time for six weeks will not be spent reviewing the manual, rather it will be spent in the dark-- watching movies of horrific car crashes-- involving teenager drivers. And it will scar the daylights out of you!

You name it, you'll see it. All real accidents, all with teenagers, and many did not live to tell the story. Most of your classmates will simply nap through the filmed tragedies, but not you. You will sat straight up at your desk and, practically without blinking, watch every second in stunned silence. Sometimes tears will run down your face, other times your friends will pass you tissues. Never once will your teacher notice who's watching and who's sobbing silently.

As a very impressionable teenager, know the class and these movies are meant to scare you into being a better, more cautious driver. And they are meant to scare you into never drinking and driving. All are important lessons to learn, but not meant to scare you out of your curiosity and sense of adventure. Don't take these movies so literally that you spend years not venturing beyond your own backyard.

Not getting a driver's license until you were nearly 20 will be a real crimp in your social life and your maturity. Life experiences usually happen well beyond your safe home environment and you need to be prepared, otherwise when you are brave enough to step into the business world and start traveling in your early 20s, you will be pretty lost and seriously lacking "streets smarts".

Your fear of the unknown will cause you to miss out on so many marvelous opportunities to see other parts of the world. You'll actually pass on a trip to Hong Kong. You'll work in New York City but never see Harlem, Greenwich Village or the excitement of Time Square on New Year's Eve. You'll travel to Cannes, France many times but never take the train to Monte Carlo for the weekend. And you will definitely miss out on seeing Paris! You'll attended annual film festivals in Milan, Italy but never journey more than 2 miles from your hotel. In London-- Except for a few day tours in the city, you will completely miss seeing the glorious countryside. Why? Because you are too afraid of what "might happen" thanks to those Driver's Ed movies.

Life happens one day at a time. Be mindful and aware and do the best you can to be safe but stop being afraid of the "unknown". Don't let scary movies viewed as a teen keep you away from your adventurous streak. Don't wait until you are in your mid-30s before we wake up and start really living, and doing, and seeing life and all it has to offer. Far too many opportunities will be missed that you can never get back again.

So during the summer of your 16th year, study hard and learn much. Then, take a step off the high dive, hop onto a train, and leap into life with your eyes wide open. You know you want to and you know you will be smart about it. Get your Driver's License and point the car towards your dreams. Don't wait or life will pass you by.
~~~~~~~
Do you know Chocolate Covered Daydreams? She's a terrific blog friend with an interesting and fun blog about life that's easy to relate to and often leaves me laughing out loud. Right now, until December 14th, CCD is offering a fantastic giveaway for a Wii Fit Plus. The rules are simple and involve answering the question-- If you could write a letter to your younger self, giving advice for the future, what would you say?
I answered the question and entered the giveaway with the above post. You can too! Click HERE for the giveaway rules and start writing!

Are you adventurous?
Welcome to The Fifty Factor - Joanna

52 comments:

  1. Wow, am I so pleased I have found your blog...can you believe my husband left a comment and told the whole web how old I was...
    yes...you probably can...
    just passing by really to say thanks for visiting soggibottom.blogspot and good luck with the birthday and cottage birthday give a way.....
    Most of all hope your sister had a fantastic Dec 7th......x x x It only comes one day a year!
    You have to make the most of it!!!!

    michele x x x

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  2. What a dear letter to your younger self. But you know what struck me most as I was reading it? It's not too late to do those things! You can still plan a trip to Paris! Or the far east! You can still visit the English countryside! And, I hope you do! I really enjoyed reading this!

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  3. You can! You can still do those things! :)

    Great letter! :)

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  4. Boy,m did THAT post bring back memories!! And most of us girls in Driver's Ed had a BIG crush on our teacher!! You always manage to stir up memories and they are always good memories!! Thanks for this one!

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  5. What a wonderful exercise...
    this is probably quite a good thing to do for oneself on a regular basis.
    I recall something similar to this from a book I read years ago called 'the artist's way'.

    thanks for sharing.
    best wishes
    Ribbon

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  6. This was a terrific post...I might check out your friend's blog and see if I can come up with a letter to my younger self...but, hey, I'm 65 and that was a long time ago.

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  7. I learned to drive when I was eleven, a neighbor taught me on a stick shift older Mercedes. By the time I was in drivers ed in high school I just needed to learn the laws and rules. I have always been grateful for the extra time driving back roads and parking lots when I was so young. It is so much fun to learn the various experiences that got us where we are today.

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  8. I have a friend who didn't start driving until she was 20 because of those movies. She still can't get over how horrible they were.
    I remember those movies too!

    Big hugs!!

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  9. You've been to some pretty amazing places! I can understand, though, that you feel you missed out because you didn't want to drive. Shame on the driver's ed teacher for scaring you like that!

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  10. what a cool letter jj...mine would be maybe to curb the adventures a tad...though i survived them so how bad could they have been...shame on that teacher for stealing those opportunities...but now you have all the time in the world to make up for them, right?

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  11. Great letter....too bad it took a few years to get over those dreadful movies but good it made a deep impression!

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  12. I think I'm still a little too afraid of my 16 year old self to write her a letter. Wow? I would. not. want. to. be. 16. again. I do remember those movies. Now they just put wrecked cars in front of the schools at prom time.
    That was a wonderful post, Joanna. I'm glad you finally let go of the fear.

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  13. I was one of the overly scared driving students myself. ( I bawled for ten minutes after Michelle Pfeiffer kiled Mare Winningham in a made-for-TV anti-drunk driving film) Then I had a very bad accident four months after getting my license -- lost my top three front teeth. And I think that taught me that bad things can happen but I can be okay. It was a hard lesson but one that has certainly been primary in my life.

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  14. Some days when I'm driving, I feel like I'm in one of those drivers ed films. Some people should not be on the road.

    After we watched the "Death On The Highway" film, we'd venture outside to practice driving through cones with the teacher.

    Today, you have to spend over $300.00 for your kid to take Drivers Ed from an outside company.

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  15. Hmmm...do you think your 16-year old self would have listened to you? I don't think I'd have listened to myself; I knew it all, dammit!

    I had a similar response to all the tornado safety drills and warnings growing up. I've had nightmares most of my life about trying to get people to a safe place, knowing I only have 2 minutes 'til the twister hits! To this day I get freaky scared when there's wind along with heavy rain. And God forbid there be a tornado watch or warning; I'm glued to the tv or radio, heart racing a mile a minute, until the danger's past.

    Hey, did you ever have to watch "The Last Prom?" It's not nearly as creepy now, but I can see how it might leave you riding shank's mare!

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  16. I loved this and related to it because I was filled with fear of driving as well, thanks to a rabid, yelling instructor. I still have nightmares of him yelling, "Stay in your lane!"

    But you've been so many places...and hopefully, there will be many more opportunities to travel some more. (If you ever need a traveling buddy, let me know.)

    You're officially entered!! Thank you SO much for doing this and for spreading the word.

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  17. I wondered where you were going with this one, until I reached the end...you know, maybe it was for the best that you saved those experiences...for now?

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  18. I didn't get my driver's license until I was 27. Well, it was the day before my 28th birthday, but legally I was still 27!

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  19. I was forced to get my driver's license and I still don't like to drive.

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  20. Holy Cow! That was great, and I seriously think you've got the contest in the bag.

    I was the opposite, totally. I learned to drive at the age of 14 in the mountains of New Hampshire, but my mother never knew so she hired Sandy Tepper of the Renault Racing Team to teach me how to drive when I turned 16. I was one fast young lady.
    Things slowed down to a crawl after having kids. We lived in the south of France for 4 years and never made it over to Monte Carlo either.

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  21. Oh Joanna, that is so sad and sweet. If we could, would we though? I could have made some much better choices in life. MUCH BETTER. But then no Jessie, Drew, Chloe and Lucas, my four wonderful kids and no meeting Leslie, the absolute love of my life. True your life would have been different, but what relationships would you have missed if you weren't there to have them? Best at this point to leave Joanna fifteen and three-quarters alone, I think.

    Cheers,

    SLC

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  22. Aww - this was such a darling post!!
    I think I 'll do one for myself one day (maybe after I get married, one day hopefully, and to my "former" single self)! ;-) XOXO

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  23. Great post it reminds me of my drivers ed class, so frightening! But embracing life and not letting it pass you by is great advice.

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  24. There is always the danger of letting life passing us by. That is the reason why I find myself always in a hurry. I don't want to miss anything. Where is the party?
    Many of the dreams can come true easier than one may think. All you have to do is buy your plane ticket. In only a few hours, you find yourself at the far side of the world. I do hope your younger self is happy with the dreams you have reached. As for the ones waiting to come true, don't worry. There is never too late. Really! Thank you for another terrific post!

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  25. I remember those same movies, Joanna! Dr's Ed was a nightmare for me too...but the reason was I had been taught to drive stick. When I drove the automatics in Dr's Ed, I put both my feet on the break to stop quickly and almost sent the teacher and 2 other kids in the back seat through the windshield....seatbelts weren't in use back then, remember? Yup. I hated it.

    I loved this post, but it got me to thinking what I would say to my younger self and I think I'd have to write a book!

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  26. I remember taking Driver's Ed classes. I would have been around the same age. It is amazing to think back and realise that even though I am older I still feel the essence of me is the same as it was when I was 16. Great post!

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  27. So poignant! It is amazing how out side influences can affect out lives so profoundly. In ways we hardly understand until years later. But as others said; once we come to our own senses....we can do it all! There is now nothing holding us back. Time to enjoy! I wouldn't want to be sixteen again! Not in a heart beat! LOL! Too much drama!
    Hugs
    SueAnn

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  28. Good read, but I agree with Christy in that it's never too late to do anything you really want to do. Go ahead, give it a go!

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  29. Great post Joanna! I feel the same way about many of those lost opportunities because of how young I married. You wrote out my thoughts so well! Every young person should read this!

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  30. Wow -- what a horrific DRiver's Ed class! Watching accidents.. as if that is going to make you a better driver!?

    I didn't drive until I was in my late twenties - I was too busy travelling the world before then.

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  31. Joanna! We had to watch those awful movies too! I even remember the name of it: "Mechanized Death". It was my first ever glimpse into the world of crime scene photos. But it worked. I've always been a very good defensive driver.

    These days, those old movies wouldn't make a teen flinch. They see worse on their X Boxes. Real isn't real and fake isn't fake anymore. None of it has the impact that it used to, which is not only sad, but dangerous. All the desensitization has left our youth feeling more invincible than ever.

    Outside my children's high school they used to park wrecked cars that resulted in teen death. That was a sober reminder of what can happen - to me, but I wonder if it had the intended results for the teens.

    It's a crazy dangerous world out there. No wonder I don't like to drive.

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  32. Oh , this made me ache for you.
    I didn't think I was scared but I internalized my fears and let the testing date pass... I finally went again in my late twenties.

    I still can't drive on highways or expressways, which severely affects my life in ways such as you described. Oh sure I've made some great friendships always taggin ' along with the mom who said she'll bring me and an assorted kiddie or two to travel soccer etc. , but it's a horrible thing.
    Every couple of years I try and go for it, but the last time I backed up on the shoulder of the off ramp at the last minute when I chickened out.

    Can you imagine. How dangerous is that?? It's a physical fear and I laugh about it as often as I can but it makes me crazy. Or crazier :)

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  33. I somehow managed to get plenty of experiences under my belt even though I was also 20 when I go my license. Who knows what would have been?

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  34. Oh how Drivers Ed. brings up memories. On the farm we are put on wheels way before our time so when it comes time were are waaaay ahead of the city slickers. Great post!

    Have a wonderfully blessed day!!!

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  35. Geez, drivers-ed, that's opening up a can of worms in my life. I didn't cry at the movies, but I took them seriously (even the don't-do-drug movies they showed us in health class). I like to think those movies helped make me a responsible person. However, I didn't get my license 'til I was almost 18, but that's because my parents wouldn't let me, but you can be sure the day my sister was old enough (16years & 6 weeks), she got hers... and guess which one of us has had multiple car wrecks & speeding tickets. Um, not me.

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  36. 'Don't wait or life will pass you by' Very wise words, Joanna.

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  37. Oh, what a terrible thing to happen...Wish your teacher had been more aware and sensitive!! Thanks for sharing so authentically!! I think you are meeting life head on now!!! And I truly admire that about you!!! ~Janine XO

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  38. Such good advice. Now if we could all go back so we could take it! Wouldn't that be lovely?

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  39. I wish you wrote this when I was 15!!!!!

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  40. that is a touching story!

    My note to younger self..don't be such an ass!!!

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  41. I would say....yanno all those feelings you have about yourself, buried deep? Follow them, they're made of truth. And I would say...things will change and you will not always be so sad as you are now.

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  42. I love this, and I love that you have let go of the fears that do not serve you.

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  43. Great post!! I too find that I am afraid to try new things... But I am getting more brave as the years go by

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  44. Oh Joanna, did you really go to those places and miss being a little more adventurous. I can't imagine that about you, really, I cannot. I would describe myself as cautiously adventurous and shake my head at some risks I have taken but have definitely had some fun along the way and would not trade places or change ... well, much.

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  45. I wanted to stop by and wish you a very merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  46. A great and inspiring letter ... it should be sent to every high school student who's taking Driver's Ed!

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  47. The way you described drivers training sounds awful, I had none of that. I learned to drive from my Uncle, then with a Policeman and passed, we had no tests, no horrible movies and I am glad. As far as writing a letter for my future, I have arrived far into the future since I was 16 years old, I am now 76years old and have learned many things along the way. You have wrote a very interesting post, I enjoyed reading it. I wouldlike to wish you a Merry Christmas and may the holidays be bright.

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  48. You are so, so right, JJ! It's my argument with modern thinking. Sure, none of us wants to lose a child - heaven forefend! But at the same time we just HAVE to let go and allow them to spread their wings and grow - and just hope and pray for the best - or we may damage them for life and deprive them of so much that life has to offer!

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  49. great post but I do question your thinking. Those scary movies are scarier for some than others but do you really think those driver ed movies is the source for not being adventurous in life? I suspect there is more to being afraid of the "unknown" than just those movies. We are all different and look at adventure differently. Your view back then may have been the right one who knows. It was the right one for you.
    But your style of writing about was great.

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  50. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this post. So much wisdom in the lines of this letter. Didn't it feel good to write it? Not too long ago I wrote a letter to my 13 year old self. It was therepudic to say the least! Great post!

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Thanks for stopping by and commenting, I really appreciate it.