Blackberry Bliss

Often proclaiming he can't live without it, my husband takes his Blackberry with him everywhere. And it's a crying shame.

I am in the minority, no doubt, but I despise Beloved's Blackberry with every ounce of its blue-cased being. It spends far more time with him an I do. It commands his complete and undivided attention with a simple hum. And it's never, ever, turned off, no matter how much I beg for silence.

It is also a very old Blackberry purchased oh so many years ago, but Beloved does not like change and, in the case of this Blackberry-- his Blackberry-- Big is better. The screen and type that is. Beloved can read his old Blackberry without his glasses and he doubts that would be likely on a new model so upgrading has always been out of the question.

He emails religiously to clients around the globe or to family in the next room. It's checked during meals, birthdays, weddings and even yard work. I rue the day it entered our home and regularly curse at it's never-ending stream of interruptions.

Once I actually confiscated his little gem for 72 whole hours. I was in paradise. He was in Intensive Care following surgery. Did Beloved ask for pain medication, ice chips, a comforting hand? Hell no. He asked for his Blackberry-- It was drug of choice.

But today, I got my wish. The Blackberry was silenced once and for all.

Beloved dropped it in the toilet.

It was an accident of course. Tragic was the word he used. But into my Toto Toilet it went and all I can say is-- I wish I had been there to see the splash-- And the look on Beloved's face.

Giving credit where credit is due, Beloved did not call me to fish his Blackberry out of the potty. I did not ask, nor do I want to know, how he managed to retrieve his blue baby on his own. All I know is, one minute he was washing up for dinner and the next minute all hell broke loose.

When I arrived at the scene of the crime, all my might was required to erase the smile from my face. A happy dance would not have been appropriate, I saved that for later, in private.

Beloved took apart his precious Blackberry-- there are actually only a few parts, and laid them out neatly on a towel to be cleaned. Lysol, cotton swabs and my favorite pair of Tweezers were involved in the process. Then slowly, and ever so gently, the hair dryer was finally applied to absorb any lingering moisture from its pieces. I watched in silence as Beloved, mumbling a prayer to himself, reassembled his aging gadget. With a deep sigh he turned the device on and-- and-- and...... A great ZZZZZZzzzzzzzZZZZzzzzZZzzzzZ z z z z z z was heard throughout the house.

No it as not the angels singing, although I was sure I'd heard them in my mind. The Blackberry was humming an impatient wail that grew louder as if to rev itself up into working order only to slide back into the aching, tired moan of a fading showgirl.

Being the dutiful wife that I am, I made the appropriate "gee whiz" sad face and whispered a few words of encouragement reminding him the phone store would open again at 10am.

Beloved was distraught, almost paralysed with despair. We had a moment of silence in honor of the bitch he calls Blackberry. Beloved eulogized all the phone calls, business deals, well wishes, and "I'm running late" messages it's sent over the last zillion years. All I could think was "Blah, blah, Blackberry.....".

I was finally able to pull him away from the bathroom repair area. Then we had dinner, in glorious Blackberry-free silence. Ahhhhh. Life was good, if only for one brief evening. Beloved was at the phone store this morning, at 9:45am waiting for the doors to open, so he could get a new annoying gadget.

It was fun while it lasted.

Do you turn your gadgets off?

Welcome to The Fifty Factor - Joanna

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