Monday, August 31, 2009

Not A Morning Person

Mornings are not my friend-- Never have been-- Never will be. I simply do not like getting up at the crack of dawn. It makes me cranky.

The strange thing is that if I go to bed and get ten hours of sleep, but still have to rise at 6am, my day is pretty much down hill from the get-go. But if I go to bed at 3am and rise at 8am, I'm ready to rock and roll.

So you can imagine how unhappy I was recently, at 3:14am, when I heard a car alarm blast three, head-ringing, honks that had me sitting straight up in bed unsure if I was dreaming or not; after all it was only three honks. But since the honks were immediately followed by silence, and since we live in a pretty safe neighborhood, I reasoned with myself that I was dreaming and began calculating how much longer I could sleep before the dreaded alarm clock chimed at 5:45am for an important 6:30am appointment with our pool installer.

Naturally, I spent the next two hours tossing and turning, unable to go back to sleep, before I finally gave up, got up, and dressed for my meeting. Maybe the pool guy would arrived a bit early, finish fast and I could nap, before our house guest was up at 9am for breakfast, before catching a flight back to Europe.

Yeah, right.

After dressing, I paced in front of the living room window watching for the pool guy. But something was not right and I couldn't put my finger on it. The neighborhood, as far as I could tell, looked just like it always did.

Then I remembered the car alarm and our house guest's canary yellow Corvette rental car which was no where in sight. I raced out of the house hoping perhaps he'd moved it from our driveway and parked it up the street. But trust me, this car was so bright you'd see it a mile away. The Corvette was G O N E ! ! !

My heart sank. Could I have foiled the car theft if I only dragged my sorry self out of bed at 3:14am? I woke my husband and gave him the bad news. Of course he didn't believe the car was gone and also headed out the front door, barefoot, looking up and down the street, trying to figure out where the car went.

I'm not waking him up! You wake him up. No you! No you. Neither of us wanted to let our house guest know his oh so fun vacation Corvette was history.

Finally husband climbed the stairs to the guest bedroom and gently knocked on the bedroom door, which was ajar. House Guest was gone too. Huh?

We were relieved thinking maybe he couldn't sleep either and went for one last ride along the Pacific coast before his long flight home. I went back to waiting for the pool guy and husband got in the shower.

Yawn.... 6:00am

Oy...... 6:15am

Tick, tick, tick...... 6:30am

6:45am..... 7:00am

Where the hell is the pool guy!

Tick, tick, tick.... 7:30am

WTH???.... 8am

Ticked off.... 8:30am

Where is our house guest?.... 8:45am

And the damn pool guy?..... 9am

....9:30am.... 10:00am.... 10:30

Husband went to work and I was home alone with no word from the pool guy or our house guest.

House Guest was not answering his cell phone, all eleven times I called him. Now I'm worried. Forget about the loser pool guy not showing up, where was our house guest and his Corvette? It was not like him to just disappear.

Finally House Guest calls at 11am, from Las Vegas! Remember the 3:14am car alarm? It was him fumbling with his car keys. Apparently, at 2am he woke with the realization that he'd left his Passport in the Las Vegas Bellagio Hotel room safe before he arrived at our house in Los Angeles. House Guest bolted out of bed in the middle of the night, made a few fast phone calls, quietly left the house so as not to wake us, and was on the first flight from LAX to Las Vegas that morning.

After a crazy race around the Bellagio, he made his return flight back to Los Angeles in the nick of time to return his Hertz Corvette, run to the International Terminal, race through security-- with his Passport, and onto the plane for his 14 hour flight home.

As for my pool guy? He finally called and "was on his way over" promising to be here before 1:45pm. Of course he was in no rush to get here since he has a problem to fix but I'll save that story for a day when I've had more sleep.

By the way, the pool guy showed up at 4:15pm.

Moral of the story-- What happens in Vegas really does stay in Vegas! And don't make a 6:30am appointments.

Are you a morning person?
Welcome to The Fifty Factor - Joanna


  1. You know Joanna I am a morning person, but if someone is supposed to be there at 630, for the love of god had better show up. By 415 I don't think it would be pretty at
    all. Glad you were all safe and there was no intruders. Can't wait to hear what happened to the pool guy, I am sure you have a story.

  2. Oh my goodness. What a story!

    I love early mornings! I'm cranky after about 8 pm...

  3. I am a morning person when I don't have to work! Monday morning I become a Mourning person!!!!!

  4. I am a morning person. It takes me a few minutes to wake up and then I am bouncing around the house. Music on, singing...dancing. I know...I'm a sick sick woman!

  5. Whew! That's mystery and drama! I'm a real morning person, myself - up around 4 am every day...but the earliest 'at home' appointment I've ever had was just before 8 am. I would have been so pissed, if that pool guy had made me wait without a phone call! Holy Cow!

  6. Cute story!
    We all seem to be unable to sleep these days.
    Must be group energy or something.

  7. That was quite an action packed story.
    I seem to wake up earlier as I get older which is a nuisance as I fancy a lie in but don't enjoy it.
    I am a morning person now but never used to be. Can't really remember when the changeover happened!

    Thanks for visiting me. Great blog.

  8. ha. i love it. i can be a morning person if i choose to be....6:30 is pretty typical b/c cole gets up then, always has...

  9. I have become a morning person, with age. But in my youth I could sleep till 11, no problem. Ahhh those were the days! :)
    But as soon as I saw that appointment time, I thought that must be a mistake. Your pool guys sure do get an early start to the day, I thought. But alas, he just wanted you to get an early start! :)
    And what a trip for your house guest! That´s an incredible story!

  10. I AM a morning person, but not a 3:00 morning person... I like to rise with the sun.

    What an exciting story. He couldn't just leave a note? Sheesh.

  11. It was like reading a mystery! Who stole the car? What happened to the house guest? Where the heck is the pool guy?

    Wonderful story, and I think I'd fire that pool guy! He needs to get up before noon, and call you if he's going to be a no-show!

  12. Oooooooooooh, how infuriating - I would have been hopping mad at BOTH the house guest and the pool guy. What is wrong with house guest having the common curtsy of leaving you a note to you weren't worried?

    As for the pool guy, I may have drowned him when he eventually showed up.

    I hate early starts, but have little choice - it's a 6am scramble in our house on school days. One fine, distant day the kids will eventually leave home - I hope!

  13. There is precious little that pisses me off more than someone who says they'll be there at one time and doesn't show up until way later. I mean, seriously, can it get much ruder?

    I am a morning person. In bed by 8, up at 5. I totally shut down in the evening.

  14. I love the way you write! So vivid, I could picture the whole scene. True on the 6:30 appt...I always make those things for late in the day so I'm not waiting around all day (hello, cable guy?).

  15. 6.30 appointment? The only time I ever have one of those is when I'm flying interstate.

    Generally, I'm a morning guy. Have to be, really. Problem is, I'm also a night owl - or at least I pretend to be. Reality is I'm a guy in a suit who's dozing off by eleven pm most nights!

  16. I am NOT a morning person either even though motherhood has forced it upon me. I'm glad that your friends car wasn't being stolen. Too bad about the pool guy not showing up until 4:15 when he was suppose to have been there at 6:30...that would so irriatate me!

  17. Not the morning person, no. I like to sleep in late, have breakfast in bed and possibly make love til noon.

    This was all in a time before motherhood.

    What a compelling adventure. Your guest actually rented a yellow Corvette? Cool.


  18. For me, the hardest part of a day like yours would be the waiting on other people. That I am not so good at, but getting up early I am good at. I am a morning person. I love to see the sun rise. When it is dark time I want to be in bed, asleep. I am not a night person. On the drive to work in the morning I get a rush when I see the sun and the gorgeous colors in the sky. I have always been like that.

  19. I LOVE that rooster "photo"!!

    I am with TechnoBabe. That is me in a nutshell. It gets anywhere's near dark and the sandman or woman starts beating on me.

    Glad it all worked out OK!

  20. Am I a morning person? Yes and no. I rarely jump out of bed full of energy when the alarm goes off, but after 20 minutes or so, I usually feel pretty good. I hate to sleep past 7:00, even on the weekends, or seems like the whole morning is gone. Next week the kids will be going back to school and I won't have my morning leisure time to read and write blogs anymore.

    I'm glad you're house guest did not have his car stolen! What a mess that would have been.

    Pool installer? You should have called me! My husband and I are now experienced pool installers! We don't have the equipment to install in-ground pools, but I can float two margaritas on a boogie board like nobody's business!!

  21. I'm so NOT a morning person, it must be genetically programmed. What a story, so glad it all worked out... your house guest is full of excitement, right down to the yellow corvette!

  22. Oh, please, please don't hate me but I AM an morning person. I hit the floor happy, perky and raring to go. I don't do coffee or any source of stimulants. Whoa, would that be scary! Hubby has to be at work at 5:00am and by 7:00 I have mounds of work accomplished. I go like this balancing as many balls in the air as humanly possible until 10:30-11:00pm. Weird, huh? I love life! Have a wonderfully blessed day after you WAKE-UP!!!

  23. Oh my god - your life really is like a movie. I want a poolboy! What's wrong with the pool?! Glad your friend found his passport in time to make his flight home!!

  24. Are you freakin' kidding me?????

    This friend of yours must have more money than god! Imagine that....

    That's really an amazingly interesting story. Not a good one, but amazingly interesting.

    Not a good one because I'd be up on charges for two crimes....murder in the first degree...for the pool guy.

    Accessory to a crime for having paid a hit man in Europe do in the house guest.

    Yep. Double crimes. Come see me on Thursday, visiting day. Bring cigarettes and gum.

    Snarky Sister

  25. Oh Dear God My Sides Are Splitting! So so funny.

    But I have to tell you that in the creeky dark recesses of my mind I was imagining all sorts of unimaginable naughtiness between the very EARLY pool guy and sleepless houseguest. I know... shoot me. Why do I even admit to things like this? I need therapy.

    Glad all turned out well.

    Love you Joanna. What a treat your posts are!

  26. He could have left a note on the kitchen table, sheesh!

  27. Oh my goodness I would have been just like you...and worried, but not about the pool guy! I am also with Joanie..I would have woke you butt up in person in a panic and really woke the socks up off you LOL

  28. Note to Houseguest (in "welcome basket" in guest room):

    "In the event of sudden evacuation, please be sure to leave a note for the staff".

    Gosh Joanna, HOURS of worrisome stress!! It would have made me crazy.

  29. I'm totally a morning person. I hit the snooze button maybe once or twice a year, but normally bound out of bed when the alarm goes off. It's fortunate that I am a morning person, since I get up w/my husband between 2:30-4:30 every morning (depending on his schedule). Needless to say, we seldom stay up past 9:30pm.

  30. Ha Alix you are not the only one! Dirty minds. Sounds like a stressful day for you though, that stinks.

  31. I'm a night person just like you and can relate with your annoyance of having to get up early. Having said that, your story was really a good one - good narration of the events and style of presentation.

    Thanks for sharing.

  32. I am not a morning person either, and I hear you! That must have been terrible.
    So much for the house guest not wanting to wake you guys up. Yeah, thanks!

  33. Wow, you know what they say about the "early bird" ! And what a story. Can't wait to hear the rest of what happened. I should admit that I became a morning person in midlife. I found myself waking up at 7:00 in the morning, no matter what. But also found that morning is my best time for writing and meeting my deadlines. By evening, my brain is in a fog....

  34. Yeah, hasn't Houseguest ever heard of LEAVING A FRICKIN' NOTE??? WTH??

    Sounds like your pool man has been stricken with Customer "Service" Disease. "Meh, whatever; they'll still write me a check, 'cause, hey...I'm the Pool Guy. Screw 'em!"

    It's just for reasons like that I've decided that, even should we one day be able to afford it, I am just not interested in getting into bed with a cable or satellite company.

  35. My goodness. You live more in the wee hours of the night than I do all day!

  36. What a day! I'm much more an evening person than a morning person, but my job makes me get up at 5am. I'm glad it all turned out!

  37. I totally get it. Not a morning person either. I don't care how many hours of sleep I get, I DON'T want to get up at 6 o'clock.

    Loved how you told this story! You're so funny!

    Thanks for what you said over at my blog. I really, really appreciate it. :)

  38. Hahahahahahahahaha!
    I hate mornings.

  39. oh my gosh, what a story! I was really thinking the car had been stolen; so glad it wasn't and all worked out

    don't you hate when someone makes an appt and then doesn't show up at that time or even any closeness to that time?


  40. Nope, I'm not a morning person at all. I can get up at 4:00 a.m. to drive our son to Phoenix for a golf tournament but that doesn't happen often.

    I'd still be in bed but I HAVE to be up and out of the house today!


  41. 3:15 am is not morning so I think you're fine on that one. Plus, the noise stopped. Poor guest. He had the bad morning. lol Glad it worked out ok for him.

  42. I'm a big morning person but not for all that kind of drama.

  43. I couldn't be a morning person if my life depended on it. I'm NOT a morning person, even though Greg is determined to make me one.

    As for the guest - geezzzeeeee..... leave a note or something! I would have really freaked out too!!!

  44. To the whole not-a-morning-person thing; AMEN!! I am SO not a morning person, either! In fact, I'm really not good for the entire day if I have to wake up before 9-ish!

    As to the rest of the crazy story - WOW!! Did you ever have a heck of a day!! That's quite an unpleasant adventure!

  45. Ugh all that being awake and alert for nothing. I'm not a morning person but neither do I sleep in. I'm awake bright and early because my body says I must be, but I just don't function well.

  46. I am NOT a morning person. That's why I love my 12-8 schedule.

  47. I share your dislike of mornings, Joanna. Especially Mondays!

  48. make sure he repairs the pool properly so you can drown him in it!
    Honestly, you could just have slept till he woke you up...a pool guy catching me with my crazy bed-hair would have been scared enough to complete the work fast and properly!!

  49. I need peace and quiet for the first hour or so.

  50. I'm okay with mornings...wish I could sleep till 7 a.m....but I am not okay with rude house guests or rude pool guys. I guess it goes into the alls well that ends well category, but so not a fun day for you. Thanks for sharing the story.

  51. That's just a crazy story! Wow!

    and you told it so well! :)

  52. One great story. Loved it from beginning to end.

    As for mornings, it all depends on how early I get to bed. Early to bed and I'm good early in the morning. Late to bed and I'm no good.

  53. Kill me now....I had the same thought as Alix. I really thought either A) houseguest and pool guy ran off together, or B) pool guy stole houseguest's car.

  54. I never thought myself to be one - I was always (or so I thought a night out). I swear, I must have been an owl or bat in my past life. I work best in the wee hours of the evening until the crack of dawn!

    But for the past few months I've been able to wake up bright and early - as in 5 or so ? And I'm relatively happy too, not so much grumpy. But then again, I do think I'm suffering from faux-insomnia, as I only need to sleep for a few hours or so to continue this vicious cycle... (; Haha

    La C.

  55. I am most certainly not a morning person.

    Crazy story!

  56. I'm not a morning person regardless of the time I go to bed.

    Whew. . .glad the house guest is okay. . . I wasn't sure what kind of twist was going to come out of this. Great post and point well made regarding Vegas.

  57. If I'm going to work, then I'm not a morning person. If it's the weekend, then I am a morning person. Sigh.

  58. I am NEVER a morning person....ideal day,...go to bed at 2AM and get up at 10:00...and then everyone around me is happier....

  59. Joanna,

    Persons who do not love the morning should not make appointments like that. That's like me going to Safeway and picking up a pound of liver and brussell sprouts for dinner. It would be a waste of time and eventually piss me off.

    I'm not a morning person. Wait, I used to not be a morning person. But now, it seems I am because I have no choice. My body has gotten used to it.

    Hmmm. If I could somehow make a living as a writer I would be a late night dude once again.

    Now I'm tired.

    Yawn, Cheers,


  60. Mornings stink.
    What a wild story

  61. Trying to retrieve my forgotten passport from hundreds of miles away in Las Vegas before an international flight would probably send me into a complete meltdown. Couldn't do it!

    As for the pool guy? It's interesting that tradesmen everywhere run to their own time clock. They must all secretly belong to the 'Let's be Lackadaisical and Bug the Customer' Tradesmen's Guild! :)

  62. also not a morning person - even though I had a job once (centuries ago) that started at 3 AM.

    I've always been able to go back to sleep except for rare occasions.

    That was some rushing around your guest did in the middle of the night. Of course, why would one forget an important passport that you considered important enough to put in the hotel safe in the first place?


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