Wednesday, August 26, 2009

I Married Him Twice - Chapter Two

The second of a three chapter story.

Read Chapter One

Never once was the "M" word mentioned in our six year relationship. "M" as in marriage. Yes, we were in love, yes we were committed to each other, and yes we were blissfully happy, but marriage-- Not even on our radar screens until….

Beloved planned a lovely weekend get-a-way for us at the beach in La Jolla for Valentine's Day. Dinner was at the wonderful George's Restaurant over looking the Pacific Ocean. Love was definitely in the air-- and in the crowded restaurant. We were surrounded by love birds, literally! Everyone in the joint was declaring, celebrating and rejoicing in their love for all the world to see. Since love was not a word Beloved and I bantered around a lot back then, it was awkward and extremely uncomfortable to say the least.

To the right of us was a couple who had just eloped and had brought a dozen friends to celebrate with them. Behind us was a couple making out so aggressively that the moaning was hard to miss. In front of us was a couple celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary with the husband pre-arranging special treats delivered in each course of their food. And directly next to us, no more than three feet away, was a starry-eyed young couple holding hands.

After this young couple's champagne was served, the guy got down on bended knee, bumping into our table in the process, and proposed to a stunned and now none-too-happy young woman. The poor guy had a ring and everything and stayed on his knee for what seemed like hours professing his undying love before the girl finally agreed to “think about it”. It was hard to miss and painful to witness.

Except for the poor guy at the next table, everywhere we looked in the restaurant, love and marriage was staring us in the face. And there we sat, not discussing our love for each other, not being overly romantic and not interested in all the lovebird non-sense going on around us. But, it left a huge elephant in the room and both of us knew it. So we did what we'd always done. We ignored it.

Neither of us was particularly interested in marriage. Beloved had been married once and as far as I could tell, once was enough for him. I, on the other hand, never imagined myself married. I knew I didn't want to have children and I was fiercely independent and career focused so marriage was never a priority for me. Our relationship worked for us and marriage, or the lack thereof, was never an issue.

Back in Los Angeles and a few weeks after Valentine's Day, I had a huge meltdown at Beloved's house. It had nothing to do with our relationship. I was having an awful time of things. My father was now terminally ill in Ohio, I hated my job, and my apartment had just been robbed.

I was determined to move into a security building. But, under the circumstances, I wasn't sure if Los Angeles was where I should look for a new apartment. I had always longed to move back to New York City (where publishing jobs were plentiful) and I was desperate to be closer to my family and my father to help with his care.

Long story short, Beloved was the only reason I was living in Los Angeles and we both knew it. I should add that in our six years together, I'd been very clear that I had no desire to move into Beloved house and live together. I had my own place, my own things and I wasn't about to give them up for a "roommate". Sure we spent a lot of time at each other's homes and rarely spent a night apart, but we always had our own homes and were happy with the arrangement.

So, back to the meltdown. Apartment hunting was depressing. Little was available in a secured building or in my (fairly high) price range. I'd spent a long day on the housing hunt and in the end had received a call from Ohio that Dad was having an especially difficult round of chemotherapy. I was defeated, stressed and, honestly-- freaked out.

Enter Beloved, in his usual “save the day” manner, who enthusiastically suggested I "put my stuff in storage" and move in with him. He literally said those words-- "Put your stuff in storage." Not, “let’s make a home together.” Nope, “storage”!

Then he started babbling on about my not rushing into anything, i.e. moving, until after my birthday in April-- As if another six weeks and turning 35 would somehow make a huge difference in my circumstances.

I. Nearly. Killed. Him.

As I said before, I didn't need a roommate and through a sea of tears, I reminded him of that fact. He responded with more of the "wait til your birthday" crap until I finally gave up and prepared to head back to my just-robbed apartment to pack for my as yet un-located new apartment.

Mind you, I was not leaving in a huff. I was just trying to push through my depressing and now bazaar day to get something accomplished.

Beloved’s response was to ask me to marry him!

Whoa! He went from "storing" all my worldly possessions to the "M" word in under five minutes.

I started to hyperventilate.

Beloved explained, due to all my tears, that he’d panicked, with the “stuff in storage" comment and that the engagement ring he'd designed for me wouldn't be ready until my birthday in six weeks, so if I could just wait, I'd have the storybook proposal he'd planned.

As I said, it was the first time we'd ever discussed marriage so it was quite a surprise, frankly, it wasn't a romantic proposal. It was more like "stop crying so I can marry you" kind of thing. I'm pretty sure I said yes that day but we talked about it a lot before we discussed it publically with anyone.

And sure enough, six weeks later, on my 35th birthday, Beloved made a lovely proposal, with a beautiful engagement ring, on bended knee. Which brings me to how we married-- twice.

Stay tuned. Part Three on Friday.

Welcome to The Fifty Factor - Joanna

Photo Credit

Chapter One


  1. It's nice to know I am not the only blogger who married the same guy twice.

    I can't wait for the next part! ;)

  2. So you didn't want to get married, but you said yes and then did it TWICE?

    WOMEN!!!! ;)

  3. You are killing me...I'm a read ahead kinda girl.

  4. You spin a good yarn! I'm hanging on every word. And I seriously smell a Lifetime Television movie in your future.... Maybe even a mini-series.... Who will play you? Who will play Beloved? We need details!

  5. It's hard to ignore the big ol' elephant in the room.
    Great story form a great story-teller!

  6. Awwww...again....great chapter!

  7. loving the story...except for the hang up at the leaving us wanting more...i threw the fancy proposal out the window...all my plans down the drain...but it was well worth it...can't wait for 3!

  8. You sure like leaving us hanging!! If my new desktop goes awry while I am waiting for the
    3rd installment, I will drive to town to the library, get on line so I can finish reading this!!!

  9. This is such a great story! I can't wait to see how it ends!

  10. Excellent story. I can't wait to read the finale.

  11. You certainly know how to keep our attention!

  12. I'm counting the days until the next episode.

  13. Oh, I love this story (hugging my teddy bear).
    You spelled bizarre b a z a a r, thus proving that you are a bargain shopping kind of a girl. : )

  14. You are a great story teller! I´m on the edge of my seat here. Loved reading this, even though I´m at work and should be working! :)
    Can´t wait to hear how you married TWICE!

  15. Oh wow, and when is part three..not going to refresh on the other link about the apartment. (Sometimers don't know if I had been there yet!)

  16. Loving it. Can't wait to read more. Felt so bad for that poor guy in the restaurant, though.

  17. "Stop crying so you can marry me!" Sounds about as romantic as my parents' proposal! So did you go back to George's for the official bended-knee event, to embarrass another table?

  18. "lovebird non-sense"!!!!!!!!
    not discussing marriage for six years!!! WHAT??!!! How does that work??!!!

    the words you use here, they make no sense to my deeply and militant romantic nature.

    Although, the more you talk the more sense it makes. What with you living independantly, all fierce and lioness like.

    I mean, it all depends on what is important to you as a person. And we each decide the amount of space, time and energy we want to give out to others that cohabitate our world.

    I think about that sometimes. I mean, I could be all super fabulous, all sucessfull and magnificent. Well, I am all of those . . . but . . .

    What if I lived a different life? No children, no husband. Living as I pleased, beholden to noone?

    Bah. That wouldn't work for me. Just thinking about it makes me all sad. Because i am absolutely a romantic. My rose colored glasses are welded to my face. The tiny cherubs floating overhead, playing their harps so softely, they have always been with me.

    Wait, what was I talking about?

    Oh yeah, this post is above and beyond. Very awesome. I heart the personal narrative.

    keep going!


    PS-that poor guy, all on his knee, asking her to marry him and she's all 'i'll think about it'. ouch, that's gonna leave a mark!

  19. What a story! I cannot wait for the final chapter!

  20. Oh he sounds like a man with good intentions! How sweet that you never discussed it until then, too!

  21. Very nicely written..... I'm kind of curious to see how it goes. :)

  22. Oooh, it's getting good! I love how he planned the surprise of designing a ring for you! This is a love story worthy of being told far and wide!

  23. See if he would have been gummi bear sweet you would have never married him, that fact that he kept it real "storage" LOVE IT
    and,... that is just the begining I bet,.. love it, love it!

  24. Here's what I are wonderful. Obviously he knew/knows that, too.

    It's all about logistics, not if but when.

    I am like you in so many ways. But, you are holding me hostage by this story which is so not nice.

    No, it is nice. I'm loving it.

    Here's the other thing I want to tell you...I adore how what you write here gets such deep, rich, and plentiful comments. They are always as much fun to read as what you've posted.

    Good on you!

  25. intriguing story; looking forward to Friday


  26. Poor guy, you messed up his plans!! However, that's still more romantic than getting a ring box with a layaway receipt nestled inside with the question, "So, are we getting married?" Gah, I was stupid.

  27. Well, I'm glad we're having lunch tomorrow so I can hear chapter 3 a bit early....that is, unless you decide to put chapter 3 here today..then....

    You know how to keep us hanging...but I loved how Beloved had a ring designed...he was really thinking about marriage all along.

    Now, on to chapter 3...

  28. Joanna, you are a great storyteller...I'm so enjoying this..not to mention it's all true!

  29. Oooohhh.... this isn't fair. I am one of "those" who open a book and reads the last page first. Today is only Wed. Even at 51 I'm as curious as a 5 year old, but I'll wait. Have a golden day my friend! xoxo

  30. I am hinging on every word and cannot WAIT to read part 3!

    My favorite line was this:
    It was more like "stop crying so I can marry you" kind of thing.

    And if you don't think that's romantic, I don't know what is.

  31. I'm chomping (champing?) at the bit here! This is good stuff! A lot of which, I can relate to (that whole 'dont-want-kids-never-gonna-get-married' thing).

  32. Very heart-warming. I especially love this as you went from storing your belongings to getting married twice!

    Quite a jump really... ;-)

  33. I love the fact that this is a true story because I am not much of a fiction reader. You write beautifully and know just how to keep your reader in suspense. I will be back!

  34. I'm jumping ahead to the once. Ok, but twice??? Where's the fast forward?

  35. Oooooh, this is so romantic and real, I could hug you both!!

  36. My wife said yes and did it twice. Surely a third time isn't too much to ask after 27 years...?

  37. Thanks for visiting me.
    Goodness you have quite an exciting saga going on here!

  38. Ooooohhh, I can't wait for Part 2 !!
    Wonderful story!

  39. Love this story. Dying for the next installment!

    Please drop by my blog to pick up an award I have for you.

  40. OK, now I am reading all these continuing stories and I am getting confused! haha! I laughed at Af1blog's comment!

  41. I'm on the end of my seat with the good kind of chills once again! I can't wait for part 3!


  42. What a great story!!! I can hardly wait to hear what comes next. This really is a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing it with us.

  43. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Hilarious. Boys are SO hilarious! That is funny as can be!

  44. Ha, excellent! I love your writing style, it's very enjoyable and engaging. Looking forward to part three..

  45. Wonderful story! I don't want to wait until Friday for the rest of it!

  46. OHHH!!! I love your story!! I think it was so sweet that he was so upset that you were crying and needed you to know there was a future with you that he talked marriage.. but yeah, I can definitely see how the "storage" thing would rub you the wrong way! Can't wait for Part 3!

  47. this is a great story to share, joanna, and so real and well done. I can't wait until tomorrow to read the rest! :)

  48. I can't wait for part three!! (: Ugh, you should write more of these little diary-like entries. I. Love. Them!

    La C.

  49. You sure can tell a story! Looking forward to part three.

  50. Can't wait for the 3rd and final installment. This has been a great walk through your past.


  51. I'm so glad you are sharing this story with us. I love it!


Thanks for stopping by and commenting, I really appreciate it.