Friday, January 15, 2010

To Repair Or Not To Repair

Don't you just hate home repairs that no one will ever actually notice or see once they're complete? I'm talking about the repairs that have no impact on your personal lifestyle but cost a boat load of money-- The repairs that are kinda boring and don't require shopping for pretty home furnishings-- The ones with no buyer satisfaction or a nice shiny babble to admire for your hard earned dollars. Those types of home repairs are no fun but you have to make them or your homestead could go very bad, very fast.

Case in point-- My Sewer Condom. I told you about it here. I Googled the cost of a "real" condom and discovered you can buy one for as little as 20 cents. My Sewer Condom cost as much as this....

Seriously! It's a Smart ForTwo Car. Cute huh? It's not parked in my driveway. But I do have a monogramed sewer condom instead. Yawn.

Of course, no one knows I have a new Sewer Condom, other than my dear readers, but I suppose people in my home would know if they tried to use the "facilities" without it. Which goes to show, no matter what it costs, you should always use a condom.

My sinking pool and deck-- Now there's one heck of a painful home repair check to write that, once the job's finished, no one will have any idea that any work was ever done, because it will look exactly the same when it's finished as it did before it started sinking. Don't get me wrong, I love my backyard and would hate to lose it, but seriously, when I think of all the things that could be done with the money if the pool and deck hadn't moved, my head spins.

Setting aside all the worthy causes the money could help for a moment, if sky's the limit, I could use the repair money to buy one of these lovely Cartier Diamond Tank Francaise Watches for me and three of my very best friends! (You know who you are ladies.)

Or how about one of these babies-- Size eleven carats (!) from Tiffany. Sure the diamond would be the size of the headlight for the above mention Smart Car, but as they say, "diamonds are a girl's best friend".


I've always wanted to see Paris, France. If I had money to burn and didn't have to repair the pool and deck, Beloved Husband and I could fly round trip First Class together three times. If we flew coach, we could make the round-trip together once a week for a full year! C'est la vie.

My closet could hold JoLo's Louis Vuitton bag-- 92 of them to be exact! But for the record-- I would only buy one so I'd have money left to actually put inside the purse.

One hundred and two romantic nights could be spent at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel's Deluxe Executive Suite. I love that place. It's where they filmed the movie "Pretty Woman". The idea of having someone else make my bed for 102 days in a row is very inviting. But alas, I must stay focus on the backyard.


I could ride on one of these cute little Vespa Scooters. Actually I could ride on 15 of them for the price of the repair. I hear Gwyneth Paltrow rides one around London. We could be BFF's if I switched my trip from Paris to Jolly Old England. Okay, maybe not.


On a more practical note, I could buy groceries for our household for 6 years or I could send a grandkid to college at UCLA for 3 years including tuition and room & board. Eleven thousand pounds of M&Ms candies is tempting as is 660 bottles of Dom Perignon Champagne, but I don't drink anymore.


Not that he's a car freak, but Beloved would look nice behind the wheel of this Maserati Quattroporte. We could only buy one but I think one would be enough to make him happy.

But seriously, who am I kidding. We can either spend the loot to repair our backyard and protect the investment in our home, or we could buy 1,100,000 Tylenol PM pills, which is how much we'd need to be able to (almost) sleep at night as we waited for the rest of the yard to slide down the hill.

Big sigh. Sometime you just have to be an adult and make the hard decisions.

But still, a pretty little red Vespa would be kinda nice. Maybe if the repair job comes in under budget, Beloved won't notice me sneaking one into the garage. Just one, honest.

The repair project starts in about three weeks. With a little luck, we'll be sitting here in the backyard by spring.


I don't even want to think about what our bank account will look like.

If money was not an issue, what would you spend it on?
Welcome to The Fifty Factor - Joanna Jenkins

60 comments:

Cloudia said...

How many tootsie rolls is that, LOL!

Thanks for visiting me in da spiral. Come back anytime

Aloha, Friend!


Comfort Spiral

anne h said...

If money were no issue - what would I get?
I would get you all the Sewer Condoms you want!

Mari said...

Sometimes it's best not to think about it! It's depressing to think what you could be spending the money on. However - at least you are able to fix it!
What would I get - maybe a brand new vehicle! I don't know what kind though.

yorksnbeans said...

I'll have a margarita, please! :-)

I could also think of several more enjoyable things we could have done with the money we have spent over the last year and a half on medical bills and health insurance!!

Brian Miller said...

a cabin in the woods, by a waterfall, with a trail...

and feed the world...but i dont think we are talkig about that kinda flow...lol.

injaynesworld said...

That's how I feel about the dentist... or car repairs...

Money has been so tight for so long, I have no idea what I'd do if it were no object. I'd probably do what I've always done when I had money -- buy great horses. Because I'm nothing if not completely impractical.

Jeanie said...

Oh, Joanna, no Maseritis or diamonds for me, but I would be on that plane to Paris or London with you in a New York second, or on a plane to New York for that matter.
Car repairs, especially tires, are where I do not like spending money.
And, I do like a nice hotel.

Willoughby said...

No question about it, if money were no object, I would buy a beach house on the ocean. Then I would have a big party and fly in all of my best blog buddies!!

cinner said...

The first thing I would do is see a doctor at the Mayo clinic...then easily could live in a cabin in the woods, mountains, waterfall, etc. Garden and flowers galore,,,and charity work........

Queen-Size funny bone said...

Congrats on your new sewer condom. I Hope you will be very happy for years to come.

Fireblossom said...

oOOooo, that's some nice ice! But even though diamonds are a girl's best friend, I would buy a yellow VW beetle, with a black convertible top. They're so cute! Total chickmobiles. Ha! :-)

Eva Gallant said...

Since we got back from out cross country trek, we've spent enough on furnace repairs, bathroom repairs, and new tires for the car to fund our next trip--which will not be happening for some time, thanks to all those repairs!

Unknown Mami said...

If money was not an issue I'd spend it with abandon.

diane said...

Honey, I feel so bad for you. Thank god you have the wits to rise above it all, and with such a savvy analogy. The thing about money is: it doesn't really matter how much of it you've got, you'll spend it no matter what.

Tattoos and Teething Rings said...

A new car and a long family vacation...almost anywhere at this point!

Matty said...

How funny that you just posted this. Yesterday we had a leak fixed on our roof that seaped down into the ceiling of our family room and left brown water spots and a crack in the ceiling. After a $445.00 fix, no one is the wiser.

lisleman said...

nice post with plenty of what ifs. It hard to related to other's situation sometimes. I do remember that Hollywood sign from your backyard view so I know your backyard is high on your priority list.

My question (maybe it's not even up for discussion) would be is the pool worth keeping? I'm not a pool guy but then I don't live in So Cal.

Big house vs. travel (often both are not possible) - I tend to favor the travel. I've been lucky enough to be in Paris with my wife but we had the kids so I guess it was not as romantic as she had hoped.

From the sized of that car I think the condom provides the user more protection.

She Writes said...

So many dreams, never enough $$ :).

Becky the Design Lady said...

I'd grab my best bud and my Mom and we'd go everywhere we can think of. A cruise every month. Hawaii in the winter...
And some hardwood floors. Yeah, I'd like that too. and a pantry filled with Froot Loops.

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

You can always create a banner to wave outside your house proclaiming your new sewer condom. After all, something that expensive has got to be recognized right?

I would much rather have a house with a beautiful lake on the property.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Hi all, Lisleman made a good point-- We DID consider losing the pool but it's all part of a big puzzle --on a hill-- and it would actually cost more to remove the pool and the deck than to repair the problem!

We are lucky to be able to fix the problem and maintain the property value, but i yiyi, it's a heart-stopping project.

Thanks all for your support.
xo jj

tattytiara said...

Yes I do know exactly what you mean. I've poured a fortune into my place and nobody sees a cent of it. When people come over for the first time I'm always tempted to say "before you look at the floor, may I show you my plumbing?"

Ronda Laveen said...

I can see you and Gweneth as BFFs and I'm sure she'd like one of those watches.

angelcel said...

Oh, I know this feeling. We were the foolish earthlings who bought a 'fixer-upper' and years on we're still paying for our folly, including the many invisible repairs. It's a stinker, isn't it?

And hold on lisleman...now you're not knocking the Smart are you? Haven't you seen the ad with the Smart and the wrecking ball?! (I have a Smart just like the photo). ;)

Seriously, sorry about this Joanna. It's worth it, but it sure does sting.

Marla said...

My goodness, what a project you are facing. The thing that impresses me the most about you is that you face it with such wonderful humor. Good for you!!

Now, If money was not an issue, what would I spend it on?

I would buy houses for each of my seven children.

af1blog said...

If money was no object....? Hmm... I think I'd maybe go and visit the acre of the Moon I bought about twenty years ago (I have no great expectation that it's really there or that I actually own it, but hey, it was a bit of fun for a few dollars). Perhaps I'd build a house on it and see if the local authority turns up demanding planning permission - yeah, right! In fact, the way things are down here, I think I might decide to stay. lol

Davine said...

Oh I sort of feel guilty laughing at your problems.How long did it take to work out all the comparisons.

My name is PJ. said...

Is it healthy to think that much about what else those funds could buy? I'd have a whopping case of hives if I did that.

If money was no issue, I'd give most of it away. I only need enough to pay my bills and maintain my property. That's it.

slommler said...

Money no object? Hmmmm! A three car garage; a patio room; a three bedroom addition! How is that for a to do list? My hubby is a geotechnical engineer and works on landslides and foundations and such. So I understand what you are facing and the costs!! But as you know; it has to be down. Praying they do a professional job!!!
Hugs
SueAnn

TechnoBabe said...

Hi Joanna, the first thing I am thinking is that at least you live in a climate that the work on the back yard can be done during the winter. It certainly could not be done here but of course not many people have pools here either. The Maserati looks mighty tempting. Not for your Beloved, for me. Oh, this isn't about me, darn. I know that if you did get those watches I would be one of your friends sharing in the wealth. Oh yeah not about me. I have to tell you I have been to Paris and loved it. When the back yard repairs are complete, you can find ways to begin replenishing the bank account. You will be saving money by staying home and using the back yard which will be a good start. Finally it's about me. If money were not an issue, I would spend that amount of money on a geodesic dome home for hubby and me on lots of forest land.

Christy said...

I'd give a ton to Haiti...I can't stop thinking about all the images I've seen this week. But I like your idea of 15 red vespas too. I'd LOVE to own one of those!

Debbie said...

I'd save my money and come chillax on your deck. It's beautiful!!!!On second thought...In order to recoup some of the repair expenses, you might charge me a sitting fee. It would probably be cheaper for me to take one of those trips you were talking about.

Alix said...

I'm all about the eleven carat diamond, but you can keep the Louis Vuitton. If you really really look at it, it's not that fabulous. It's recognized as a big ol' hunk of status, but 99% of the LV bags you see on the streets are fake. Who wants something that someone might think is fake - especially when it's not!

I'd totally do the Vespa.

A friend of mine had that Masarati... in the most gorgeous claret color. I was in the market for a new car a couple years ago and I remember driving to work one morning and being behind that car. Not knowing what it was, I thought, Hmmmmm, that sure is a pretty sedan.... so I kept trying to catch up with it. Naturally I couldn't. It zoomed away and I just had to wonder what it was. Then I caught back up with it at a red light. Inched closer and read the monogram... Masarati. Crap. Only I would jones after a $150,000 car. I went on in to work and told my funny story. Someone asked me... was it burgundy? Yes, I said. Oh that's Jen's car. Jen worked in our office. She was 26. Married to an anesthesiologist. I'd like one of those someday too. LOLOLOLOLOL.

How's that pool coming along?

Betty said...

Oh, I hate those repairs too, the ones no one seems to notice, but that you can´t live without!!
If I had money I´d travel, for sure!! That´s the one thing our money never seems to be enough for....

tera said...

Don't buy the Tylenol - they just recalled all that stuff! But booze will do it for you, too. You can get a lot o' booze for that much. In fact, I would take at least a little of that pool money, buy some booze to help you get through it, then hope to have enough booze left over to sit by the pool when it's all done, have a drink and say "ah..."!

delicate flower said...

I'd NOT go look for a job but stay home and write! I'd buy my youngest son a vehicle, as his is dead.. then I'd haul his disabled truck out of my driveway.
I'd take a trip someplace I've never been before...oh I could go on and on....

Nezzy said...

Oh dream a little dream right now. If money was no object I'd make sure all bills were paid and make a difference on some other peoples lives. I've always dreamed to have enough to change the lives of others.

Have a super weekend!

CatLadyLarew said...

Oh, Joanna! What a question. I must say, though, of all the things you pictured here, I do like the look of your deck the most... so I think your money's being well spent. (Even if no one else can actually see the difference.)

otin said...

If money was no object, I would buy a secretary to do my typing! I would dictate my blog responses!

beth said...

seriously....a house in seaside, fl would be mine if I didn't have to think about money....

and all the rest would go to doctors without borders since I believe they are really angels here on earth...

Traci said...

Reason to say Sewer Condoms... Priceless.

If money was not an issue, I would have a home on the coast and I would travel -- you made some pretty good suggestions. But money is an issue, Actually, it's an entire library of issues so I'll stick with my two bedroom apartment and a drive around the block. :-)

Looking forward to the Spring after pictures.

Spencer L Casey said...

I like the cabin in the woods idea. I'll take one of those, please. Seriously, I'm afraid my addiction to gadgets would get the best of me and I'd go under in a pile of Best Buy crap.

But my kids would all go to college on me.

Cheers,

SLC

Debbie said...

Oh yes! I know exactly what you mean, Joanna. I have wanted a new front door and new oven since I first set foot in this house 16 years ago. Do I have them? Of course not. But, I do have all sorts of things no one can see!

deb said...

first of all... sympathies to your cause Joanna. I think we are just on the good luck side of roof/window/pool $$$.

I can't play the $ game, big issues from years with a lottery ticket obsessed stepdad.

But I'd give you some just for letting everyone else here dream!

Gran said...

I'm a renter, and right now kind of happy to be :)

If money was not an issue, I would travel (wherever I wanted, whenever I wanted).

Your repairs sound like a lot of samolians.

Oz Girl said...

A nice John Deere tractor. A new barn. A shop with all the new shiny tools my hubby desires. A covered riding ring. A new house with a wraparound porch and pool with additional built-ins such as a fireplace and grill. Ahhh, the list grows and grows.

BUT, in all honesty, we are pretty happy where we are, with what we have. More money would be nice only to know that all the bills are paid all the time with no stress involved!! :-)

mama-face said...

me.


(I love your well thought out plans for spending and so sorry it has be on the dumb house stuff. grrr I hate spending money on home and car repairs.)

Jenny said...

Spending money on stuff you can't enjoy is just wrong. I think you should at least buy the lawn chair covers. Those are awesome. Right now I would just spent money on a maid to come and clean up my house and catch up all my laundry.

Kathy said...

I totally agree with you...repairs that will make a wonderful visible difference are great...those that do not....stink!

Love the cars!!

Marguerite said...

I lived in a big two-story Colonial for twenty years, so I hear ya on the repairs. I downsized to a new garden home and it's so much easier to maintain. If money were no object, I'd go on a worldwide island cruise! And btw, your deck is lovely!

ain't for city gals said...

Hey, Thanks for stopping by...yes SIX miles...going to do a half a marathon May 1st...come join me...you are spring chick... exercise is the best age defying thing we can do...then get the new RED Vespa....Woo Hoo..

Joy said...

I'm so with you. I hate home repairs too. In fact the plumber was just here yesterday and broke the news to me that the pan in my master bath shower needs to be replaced. Water is leaking out of my shower... I hate the thoughts of spending all that money for probably a stupid pin hole!!!

I really would rather use to repaint my entire house. That was my new year plans. Now it looks like a new pan and my beautiful tile work will have be taken out and redone :(
♥ Joy

Yaya said...

Oh gosh....you're making me think about what a money pit our new house is gonna be.....but it's worth it, right??

Pearl said...

I hear ya, honey. We own two houses (duplexes) and they're most definitely a break-even proposition.

Which reminds me. Gutters. We needs gutters.

Sigh.

Pearl

LadyFi said...

Just think of all the books and chocolate you could buy!

Hope you and your bank account recover some time during the next decade! ;-)

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Oh when we put money in perspective like that! But think of what each priceless moment on your deck will FEEL like next year! Good luck. Now I'm going to make a list of spring repairs needed around here!

kys said...

Hmmmmm. I'd pay off all our debt, build a dream house, and sock enough money away to pay for the kids' college and cars (when they're old enough). I'm boring.

Shelle said...

lol, if money was not an issue my list would be a heck of a lot longer than yours!

pita-woman said...

Oh that makes me ill just thinking about it. Makes me glad we took our pool out this past summer. Good luck!

gayle said...

Let's see ..where to begin...retire!!!! pool!!!! maid and pool boy ..oh wait wouldn't need those if only I could retire.. but I am spending my money on a new roof,well pump, and air conditioner.. I feel your pain!!