You know it’s going to be a rough day when you look out the window to your back yard and things aren’t where you left them the night before. I’m not talking about flower pots, beach balls or lounge chairs. Oh no, no, no. I’m talking about the pool and its adjacent wood deck! Mine are clearly NOT where I left them the night before.
They are moving…. Sinking actually, downhill. And it’s not pretty.
It started about three weeks ago with no apparent reason. No earthquake, no rain, no mudslide, no drilling, no broken water lines and no demolition in the area. One night the pool and deck just started to separate and sink.
Insert big sigh and a hefty dose of hysteria.
I immediately called our pool contractor—A 70-something curmudgeon who's a real character. He’s been building pools since Moses parted The Red Sea and he looks it. His skin is like shoe leather and constantly sunburned. His hands are strong and, even at his age, still dig in the dirt every chance he gets. And, he has a full head of gray hair but it looks like it’s platinum blonde from years of sun exposure. The pool guy is a good ‘ole boy with a mouth like a drunken sailor. (Consider yourself warned about his language in this post!)
Walking across the yard together towards the pool, our conversation went something like this…
Pool guy: Shucks little lady, I remember this pool. Damn, you did a fine job of dressing it up with flowers. Hell, it looks better than I thought it would.
Me: Um thanks. Now, but about the movement. I'm very concerned about it.
Pool guy: Movement? Hell this pool isn’t going anywherrrrrr…..
Wait for it-- Wait-- Wait.....
Pool guy: Ahh*hell*shit*son-of-a-mother*shit*hell*oh boy* shit that’s big*hell*oh honey*Jees-sus H. Christmas*hell*damn girlie*ahh hell*shit*I’ll be*shit*damn it almighty*for the love of....
You get the idea.
Pool guy: Jees-sus H. Christmas girlie, you are totally*hell*shit*ahhhhh! That’s bad. Oh hell. How long did it take to move this much?
Pool guy: Are you shitting me? Who did you piss off to make that happen so fast?!?!
And then he looked at me for an actual answer!
After a long silence, Pool guy started cursing again, calling me girlie and honey in between his run-on-sentence of expletives. Finally he stopped, hiked up his pants to (finally) cover his butt crack, and said…
“That pool’s not going anywhere honey, but I suggest you step off the deck and onto the grass.”
Yes, it was a rough day indeed.
I learned that last statement was code for “this is NOT his problem”. He built the pool and deck according to the geologist and engineer’s specifications and I should follow-up with them.
Problem is, I have no idea who the engineer was for the original construction and pool guy can’t remember either. The pool was built in 1992. In 1994, we had a huge earthquake and lost a lot of our “important papers” (amongst other things) and that included the pool and deck blueprints and permits.
So the games begins, so to speak. The pool seems to have stopped "moving" for the moment, fortunately. I've met with numerous geologists and engineers and learned more about "mystery movement" than I care to know. It's kept me busy of late (Could you tell by my lack of posts?) but oh the stories I will tell-- Just as soon as we get to the bottom of things.
And YES, I'm praying "the bottom" will not be my pool and deck at the bottom of the hill we live on.
How's the view from your back yard?
Welcome to The Fifty Factor - Joanna