There I was in the airport security line with my carry on suitcase in one hand and my snow boots in the other-- The boots I bought in Cleveland on vacation visiting my family-- Because it rained, snowed and was slushy the whole time I was there.
In front of me was a very fancy, 60-something woman (translation: obviously very rich judging by her chic Louis Vuitton bag, full length fur coat, excessive diamonds and exceptionally good facelift). She clearly had lots of money and knew how to spend it.
Behind me was none other than "The Chief" (James Pickens Jr.) from my favorite TV show Grey's Anatomy. I tried not to let him see my jaw drop as I did a double-take looking at him over my shoulder. For the record, The Chief is wildly sexy, which, at the moment, sounds a little weird, but please trust me on this. They dress the guy kinda frumpy and fatherly on the show but in real life-- Whoa! I was swooning.
So there we were all trying to get through the first ID inspection of the security process so we could go through the x-ray machine, but Ms Lotof$$ was holding us up. Apparently her driver's license name did not match her ticketed name and security was checking her out.
She was giving them a very nonchalant story about how she changed her name and the paperwork hadn't caught up with her yet. She said her driver's license name was her "real" name, then she vaguely mention it was her husband's last name on the ticket, but now she was back to using her driver's license name again. It was all "quick, quick, quick with nothing for anyone to worry about", she said. But security was worrying and continued questioning her... While The Chief and I waited, and waited, and waited right behind her.
Apparently the security crew was also taken with The Chief's good looks so instead of checking our IDs and waving us through, they kept us waiting so everybody and his brother could get a good look at him too.
After a few minutes, Ms Lotsof$$ was starting to get exasperated... and so, apparently, was the yip yappy dog she had in the Louis Vuitton bag. (Who knew!?!) Between the barking, the now four security people questioning her, and The Chief clearing his throat loudly behind me to help move things along, Ms Lotsof$$ finally said...
"The tickets is in my married-but-almost-divorced name and my driver's license is in my real name. My marriage was very fast--very fast, she repeated in a deeper voice-- It was so fast it was like the drive through at In-N-Out Burger...."
**Blink**
At which point, everyone immediately tried not to laugh.
By the way, The Chief has a very nice choke-back-a-laugh-chuckle... and it gave me another excuse to check in out.
Security finally let the now long line behind Ms Lotsof$$ pass while they continued to question her.
More on my vacation later. But first--
I'm having a Giveaway and it's easy to enter!
CSNStores.com has given me a $100 Gift Certificate to pass on to one lucky blogger. Their usual terms and conditions apply (one time use, you pay the freight, US and Canada shipping only-- Full details will come with the Gift Card.) I'm sure you've heard CSNStores.com has more than 200 online stores to shop until your heart's content.
All you have to do is--
1) Leave a comment here and on all my new posts between now and midnight PT Saturday, November 20, 2010. The more you read new posts and comment, the more chances you have to win the $100 Gift Card.
2) For extra entries blog about the giveaway linking to THIS POST then come back to THIS POST and LEAVE ME TWO MORE COMMENTS with your giveaway URL. These are how your extra entries will be counted so don't forget this part.
3) You must have a blog to enter. Be sure I can reach you via email if you win. I'll randomly draw the winner. Results are final.
So there you have it. Come on! Leave a comment to enter.
Have you ever had an unexpected airport experience?
Welcome to www.TheFiftyFactor.com - Joanna Jenkins
Photo Credit for James Pickens Jr.
Photo Credit for In-N-Out Burger
Posts
I most certainly have! Apparently, I look like a security risk. I am always singled out.
ReplyDeleteThe joys of flying. Which is why I don't do it often anymore!
ReplyDeleteI always think I've seen someone famous in airports, but it turns out to not be who I thought it was.
ReplyDeletenice. lol. i saw a bunch of professional wrestlers once...
ReplyDeleteI can tear up an arm rest in an airplane in under 10 seconds..scares me that bad!!!
ReplyDeleteOh by the way..Five Guys Burgers And Fries are waaay tastier than In/Out Burgers..I know..I was shocked, too!!
I love your story!!!! Thanks for sharing. And the giveaway!
ReplyDeleteOh, I love McChiefy. He's HAWT!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great airport story. Nothing like that ever happens to me. :(
ReplyDeleteThanks for doing another great giveaway!
that's a keeper of a story.
ReplyDeleteHey that Ms. Lotto doesn't know how to spend her money - I didn't get any.
I just posted an airport related story but it's fiction.
I always thought the chief was hot. flying? not so much.
ReplyDeleteExciting times at the airport, huh.
ReplyDeleteWhoever started having women take the last name of the man she married did not foresee the divorce rate that it has climbed to now.
good that you could see the humour in the tight security these days.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if Lotsof$$ ever got on the flight.
ReplyDelete:-) Proves that $$ doesn't buy everything.
My niece is one of those TSA types.
ReplyDeleteI bring my patience to the airport!
Aloha from Waikiki :)
Comfort Spiral
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It sounds like you had quite the amusement despite the wait. He's very easy on the eyes. How many times did you accidently lean back? ;)
ReplyDeleteA giveaway is always fun. :)
More like an airport nightmare on Elm Street!!! I'm talkin' a drunk in the back was stone cold sober and kissed the ground when he got out! Heeehehehe!
ReplyDeleteThanks for a winnin' opportunity sweetie!
God bless ya and have a great day :o)
Howdy hon..finally found a minute to stop by and say hello..have missed reading your blog! So glad to be back! LOL Loved the story hon!! Happy Wednesday! Hugs, Sarah
ReplyDeleteThat is a great story and I bet he was a hunk of burning love. Would have loved to look at him for a while. I never luck out like that, although I've been behind a few of "those" ladies and lord they do try my patience.
ReplyDeletehow cool!!!! one love.
ReplyDeleteYou have single handedly restored my faith in TSA. Good for them. And I'm impressed that you were able to hold back your laugh. I giggled when I read it. Hope you had a great vacation.
ReplyDeleteI never see anyone famous. Oh wait.. I don't ever go anywhere.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if Ms.$$ made her flight?
Well, I've had my luggage go missing a few times - one time never to be seen again! (La Guardia Airport.) And I've seen a few mildly famous people. Mostly though, I'm just pleased when the flight is called and we board, and then when we land at the other end. :-)
ReplyDeleteTrying to catch up, Joanna, after being deathly ill for a week, including four days in the hospital. Now, if the Chief had been there, I wouldn't have minded my stay so much!
ReplyDeleteI want to try for that giveaway, for sure.
Just saying hi...been at the computer too long, against Dr's orders.
I stood behind Hulk Hogan. Ha! Or should I say I towered over him. He is short and almost bald. Oh well!!!
ReplyDeleteGreat giveaway by the way!!
Hugs
SueAnn
Oh, I would have enjoyed my close encounter with fame much more than I would have felt the annoyance of waiting so long. I'm surprised they didn't take the rich lady aside sooner.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the chance at a Giveaway!
Oh, I would have enjoyed my close encounter with fame much more than I would have felt the annoyance of waiting so long. I'm surprised they didn't take the rich lady aside sooner.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the chance at a Giveaway!
Great story. At least it was entertaining while you were waiting. I have terrible wanderlust at the moment and wish I was going somewhere. In australia a few years ago I got pulled to the side at almost every airport for an explosives search. The last time we almost started laughing when they asked me if they could do a search.
ReplyDeleteWill look forward to the rest of your story.
So sad that your give-away doesn't include shipping to Sweden!
ReplyDeleteWhat a funny airport story. When I was a kid,I sat next to Jackie Stewart, a famous formula 1 racing driver, and got him to sign my poetry book.
OH WOW!!! Please throw my name in. I have so much Christmas shopping left!
ReplyDeletejacksoncrisman@yahoo.com
That is so funny! The airport gives great stories, doesn't it? Last time D and I went to Cozumel no one on the flight wanted to sit near this very large man dressed in black jeans and black leather--he looked like a terrorist in a Bruce Willis movie. Unsurprisingly he was escorted aside when the plane landed.. WTF?
ReplyDeleteYou certainly lead an interesting life! How funny!!!
ReplyDeleteNever a dull momemt at an airport, but not everyone can tell the tale as well as you.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy being home.
best wishes
Robyn
Wow that's ummmm pretty special. Wow. I've fortunately never had anything quite like that, but I'm numb to most travel at this point.
ReplyDeleteAnd note: technically the ticket must match the ID period or you don't fly. I don't care how fast the marriage is - carry that name change documentation on you!
If I see celebrities I'm probably oblivious to them. My husband sees pro atheletes/celebrities all the time and tells me about it. I did see Richard Simmons at the L.A. Airport one time. (he's hard to miss) We waved at each other. He even had his tiny shorts and tank top on.
ReplyDeleteI'm wondering what happen to Mrs.$$.
♥Joy
Hey Joanna, that's a pretty funny story. And so cool that you were distracted by The Chief too.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments, my g*d you really made my day. Seriously, thank you so much. xo d
He is a very handsome man! Lucky you!
ReplyDeletexoxo
I was once stuck on the runway in Cologne, Germany on the same plane as Elke Sommer. Frankfurt was fogged in and we waited for the fog to lift in Cologne. Good to know even famous people get stranded like that, Of course, she was in First Class and I was stuck in Coach.
ReplyDeleteStanding near the handsome guy was a nice bonus, but not so much the hold-up with Ms. MultipleNames.
ReplyDeleteThe rich are different. *rolleyes*
ReplyDeleteOh my how funny. Here I am back reading blogs again and so glad I stopped by. Sorry but I would have had to ask Ms Moneybags who her surgeon was. How hilarious for everyone. And what is it with these yappy dogs being carried about in handbags. There is no way I would want a dog in my expensive handbag, YUK!! Now to go catch up on what else you ahve been up to.
ReplyDelete*drooling over the chief*... sad I can't enter the giveaway. I live too far away obviously. *sniff*
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'm with you...even the mere mention of "the Chief" had my knees weak!
ReplyDeleteThe only people I ever get caught in line with are either 14 year old girls or smell of onions. Maybe I should pick more interesting flights!
ReplyDeleteHow exciting!! When coming back from a cruise once they opened and checked Everything I had!! It was very embaresing!
ReplyDeleteI do think twice about flying these days.
ReplyDeleteFirst, congratulations on being in our town and using our airport. We're sorry about Ms.Hoity-Toity, but we really can't keep her under control.
ReplyDeleteIf you have to wait around, it's always fun to do so in good company, I always say.
Oh goodness...such fun people watching at airports. About 4 years ago I was flying back from Florida when I got stuck in the Indianopolis airport due to a snow storm there and in Minneapolis. I was extremely sick and had to hang out there until the next afternoon(all hotels were booked)...anyways, when I went to go through security I was picked to be completely searched. When they seen how sick I was they hated touching anything of mine. :)
ReplyDeleteI love flying and spending my layovers people watching in the airport. :)
Considering I am getting on a plane next week, I really should not be laughing at this story but I am. I so love the way you write! Previous post made me cry and this one made me laugh!
ReplyDelete~ Tracy
Wow, this was a funny story. But I'm also jealous that you were standing closely to "the Chief." Hubba Hubba!
ReplyDeleteI've met Julianne Moore(Tiny woman ), Coach Jimmy Johnson (Had a quiet beer with him at the Miami airport because he didn't want the attention, but let me get a pic of him before I left, cool dude),Tennis Star Andy Roddick in coach on Jet Blue, didn't know who he was until some people on the plane asked him for an autograph...but I would trade them all in for a date with Miss Dripping in Diamonds and use that CSN card for dinner at an In and Out burger and a Marriage certificate made with invisible ink.,,she wont be holding up any lines because of me !! LOL Great stuff Jj. ;-)
ReplyDeleteOk, that was funny but I still hate flying.
ReplyDeleteThe worst was when they overbooked our flight in Boston and wouldn't let us on. I got in an argument with them because I couldn't understand, and still can't, how they can sell my seat to more than one person. Grrrrrrr
No one famous, but I did fly on a plane with our local mayor...and I didn't recognize him in "real" life. He was much shorter than I expected.
ReplyDelete:o)
pippirose59 at gmail dot com
I haven't had an airport story that exciting, but I have almost missed a few planes....
ReplyDeletegreat giveaway
ReplyDeleteJust that my sweet husband always seems to "forget" and stash a knife or something in my bag and then I get stopped and searched!
ReplyDeleteI have only flown......to humm......New Orleans, Los Angeles, Chicago, and Birmingham. Four times. Nothing exciting or out of the ordinary happened. Although, I was so in awe of everything because I don't fly often and it's all so very new I probably wouldn't notice anything or even KNOW something was unexpected or different or whatnot.
ReplyDeletePlease I need to win this!
ReplyDeleteI would love to win! I know A red suit who has a very tall order of American Girls this year,... from so very sweet, giving children <3
ReplyDeleteThanks for the opportunity! I love the Chief!
ReplyDeleteI got to Izmir Turkey once and my luggage went "who knows where" and I wore what I had on over, and over, and over again till they finally found it.
ReplyDeleteMy last trip abroad was before 9/11 but my friend and I thought everyone with a beard and sunglasses was a terrorist even then. No kidding so when Juan Williams said what he did I knew exactly how he felt.
A great story and very well written. You made me smile.
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to hear the rest of the story. The Chief is sexy! (He's my age, I'm sure.) Did he have a wedding ring on by any chance?
ReplyDeleteNothing like having to be held up in line but since you were standing next to one hot guy...it must've made it alright.
I seldom fly... but on the way home from my best friend's funeral, I had to pass through one of those "nude scanners". It was way embarrassing.
ReplyDeletehttp://fourisaneff.blogspot.com/2010/11/no-readers-here.html
ReplyDeleteI linked you and left 2 comments!!!
whoohooo!!
http://fourisaneff.blogspot.com/2010/11/thankful-day-1.html
ReplyDeleteI linked twice 2 make sure I did it right! Anyway hope you have a Sunny Saturday <3