Recently I spent a couple of days hanging around an emergency room and then a hospital room with a loved one. What an eye-opening experience. It's been a while since I was a "visitor", not a patient in a hospital, and it reminded me that I prefer to be neither-- a patient or a guest, that is.
Hospitals and I have a love-hate relationship. With a
chronic illness, I love that I have three really good quality hospitals to choose from in my community. But I hate going to the hospital under any circumstances, unless I can hang out at the gift shop.
Have you ever noticed that hospital gift shops are loaded with a surprisingly great variety of merchandise? You could literally do all your holiday shopping at the hospital and the prices are terrific. Yes, the shop is usually jammed packed with stuff, but if you take your time and sort through it, you'll be glad you did. I'll have to remember that come December. It's a one-stop-shop and everybody can us a new pair of slippers, matching robe or a mirror and hairbrush set, right?
I've learned over the years that arriving by ambulance to an emergency room is really the way to go. Not for the "grand entrance", but because the paramedics help you cut to the chance. Paramedics do not leave you sitting in the waiting room lobby for your turn in admissions. Then again, here in Los Angeles, it's nearly a $900 head-of-the-line pass via ambulance so you might want to keep that in mind.
If you drive yourself to the ER, I strongly advise you arrive early, just like at Disneyland. Otherwise, the line to get in is really long; and once you actually get inside the emergency room, it's mobbed-- Patients are lined up in hallways, cubicles, exam rooms and next to the restrooms.
I seriously wonder if stacking bunk beds in an ER might be more comfortable for patients and more efficient for doctors-- ala "rack 'em and stack 'em". The gurneys patients lay on are not cozy. A forklift for actual stacking beds would be far better for the staff to keep folks moving and patients comfortable.
If you are admitted to a hospital room from the ER, it's a whole other story. I love that two of the three hospitals here have wireless Internet connections in the rooms along with 42 inch flat screen televisions. It's like spending time at The Four Seasons Hotel-- sort of. Of course, when you're "stuck" at the older hospital it's a bit of a let down watching the small portable television hanging from the ceiling with limited cable channel options, but sometimes you have to rough it.
As for Hospital food-- I yi yi yi, who comes up with those recipes? I hate the food in all three area hospitals but the "cafeterias" have a wide range of brand-name foods to choose from. Translation-- Fast food chains, so patients and visitors are sure to get something wildly unhealthy to eat. Then again, there's nothing like the smell of burger and fries when you're under the weather.
The valet parking at of our hospitals is a real plus. Yes, it costs a fortune to get your car out of any hospital parking garage, but not having to walk a few blocks to the parking structure and trying to remember where you parked your car after 24 hours in the Emergency Room makes valet a real pleasure for your visitors and family.
As a patient, I've never really noticed all the little "perks" hospital staff leave for you to enjoy. But as a visitor, I was more focused this time and noticed all the "little touches" I'd missed in the past. When I visited with Loved One, I noticed the wash clothes were folded into flowers, just like on a cruise ship. And a friendly, perky woman came into Loved One's room to "take his dinner order" just like it was a fine-dining experience.
The Swine Flu is definitely at the top of the hospital's priority list these days. All the elevators doors are covered in life size photos of happy, smiling, air-brushed patients looking very pleased to know the staff washes their hands frequently and visitors should too. The faint smell of Purell was everywhere-- so were the dispensers. I really hope that stuff works because everyone's hands were touching the same elevator Purell dispenser over and over and over again.
I was surprised to see the card left on the night stand from "the maid" assuring the patient if their housekeeping needs weren't met, they could call the phone number listed on the card. The "maid" signed her name with a smile face after it. It reminded me of the housekeeping cards you see in hotels-- The cards I always assumed were in place to remind guests to leave the maid a tip. Well, now the hospitals have them too!
As I pulled up to valet to take Loved One home, I noticed several other discharged patients all carrying their pink wash basin, puke tray and the likes-- You know, all the crap that's "yours" when you leave a hospital. I guess the old, "I paid for it so I might as well take it with me" theory still applies. Yes, I'll admit, I have a few of those at home stashed somewhere in the garage or basement. But I've never once used them and I've long since stopped bringing them home with me. Which reminds me, I should pull it out and drop them in the recycle bin.
Here's the thing that always amazes me when I'm in or visiting the hospital-- The nursing staff. They are true angels! Day in and day out these men and woman deal with the "BBGs"-- blood, butts and guts-- along with often sick, grouchy, nervous patients and their family and friends, and they seem to do it effortlessly. I take my hat off to each and every one of you and thank you for your kindness and caring.
I hope you never have a medical emergency.
Welcome to The Fifty Factor - Joanna
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