Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Random Stuff


Somewhere between the teen years and middle age I became very aware of my home and surroundings and the necessity to have a "place for every thing".  As I grew in years, clutter disappeared and I stopped bringing items into my home that I didn't either love or actually need.  Stuff minimized, dust rarely settled, and clutter-free lines and space became my preference.

It wasn't always like that.  Growing up, my bedroom was referred to as "the pig pen" by my parents who repeatedly told me to either clean it up or keep the door closed.  Although I had ample closet and dresser space, my clothes usually lived in piles covering the floor.  In short, it was a mess and the door was always closed, even on hot, humid Ohio nights.

In my 20s I lived in a tiny one room studio apartment and that is perhaps where the transition began.  There simply was no place for endless stuff or untidiness.  I moved into the apartment with my clothes, a few garage sale pots and pans, and a sofa that pulled out into my bed.  That was it.  Slowly the home filled but I learned to edit as I went and the space was actually perfect for me.  I loved that apartment and lived there for several years.


My 30s brought better jobs that netted bigger apartment budgets and more space to fill, but I managed to remain true to my need for useful and cherished possessions.  It also brought the loss of some of my dearest loved ones and the beginning of an accumulation of their possessions that I continue to carry with me today.  This collection of mismatched and very random items has grown significantly but I'm okay with that.

In short, I have become the minimalist with a lot of other people's stuff.

Our home is being repaired and painted this week and I needed to empty cabinets so the workers could move them.  A flood of memories nearly knocked me over, as it always does, when I pulled out piece after piece of mementos, most of which I've never used or displayed but can't bring myself to part with.

There's the single black and gold high ball glass I remember my Dad liked so much, although I have no memory of him ever drinking from it, and all the remaining glasses from the set are long gone. The silk tassels from my dear Mrs. Smith-- the ones she kept in her nightstand but for her own personal reasons unknown to me, couldn't part with are with me too as is my grandmother's blue cookie tin that never held cookies but always sat on the corner shelf of her living room-- I have them all stored carefully in a cabinet in my dining room, all out of sight but perfectly protected.


The most recent acquisition-- blue and white "pigs" salt and pepper shakers belonged to my late step-father's first wife-- She loved them so he kept them on a shelf in the living room he and my mother shared for 20 years.  None of his five children wanted them when Dave passed away two years ago this week, but I figured if he couldn't part with them, then they shouldn't land in their garage sale so I kept them for him, safe in my cabinet.


When I carefully unwrapped my favorite "pointy black olive dishes" as they've always been referred to, I burst into tears-- something that caught me a bit off guard.  These dishes graced the dining table of my youth-- the times when we used the "good china" and "fancy napkins".  They each held a jar of black olives, which for our large, budget conscious family, was considered a real treat.  These dishes were always the last thing dad would place on the table before dinner was served but the first things that were eaten and emptied before anyone even had the chance to sit down and say grace.

Those "pointy dishes" were hot targets for me and my young siblings and olives were swiped by the handful despite Mom and Dad's best efforts to chase us away and "save them for company".

All of the "points" are chipped and sharp, making the dishes totally unusable but still, I can not bear to part with them.  Their memories are too vivid and the happiness and laughter they brought to our family over the years are still to fresh-- or is it raw?-- since my dad passed away so very long ago.

My cabinet is filled with eleven pairs of crystal candlesticks from countless loved ones who passed them on to me because they knew "I'd keep them safe".  There's also the silver candle sticks my parents gave my dad's folks for their 25th wedding anniversary.  These are one of the few things I use on a regular basis-- and always keep them polished out of respect, and frankly pride, that I have them.

I found it very unsettling to look out over my dining room table and living room this week-- dust, clutter and stuff everywhere.  I've come to realize that perhaps I'm getting a little eccentric in my old age with "the need for clean" as a sink with a few dirty dishes, an untidy closet or a room covered in plastic makes me uncomfortable and, dare I say, unable to sleep until it's tidied up.

It's also true that my collection of stuff will no doubt continue to grow as more loved ones pass and mementos are shared with me.  I wonder what will happen to it all when I'm gone.  That is a questions I probably will never have an answer to.

Looking around our home, there are so many things I love and cherish-- all carefully selected and accumulated over the nearly 25 years my husband and I have been together.  I wonder if they'll be passed on and loved as dearly as we do.  Each hold special memories and most have a story about how or where we found them.  I'd like to think at least some of our things will be cherished by the younger generation and not relegated to a garage sale, but again that is an answer I will never know.

But, it's truly the random, mismatched items in my cabinet that pull at my heartstrings the most and bring that lump in my throat that makes me swallow hard not to cry.  Each piece has a story, some known only to the person that gave it to me, but a story nevertheless that I hold dear and cherish.

Do you accumulate have "random stuff"?
Welcome to www.TheFiftyFactor.com  -  Joanna Jenkins
Photo Credit: © Jan Jansen - Fotolia.com

32 comments:

  1. I hate clutter too, but there are things I can't get rid of because of the sentimental attachment. I have them put away and don't use them, so really it's kind of crazy!

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  2. ha. my youngest is a pack rat...i dont really grow attachment to things...i do have quite a few books but very few nick nacks...my son collects everything...even my things...ha...

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  3. I have given my sisters and brother the things passed along to me from family members. But I still have a bowl that is trimmed with silver that belonged to my grandmother. It's used occasionally, never polished but cherished nevertheless. When I go to a potluck with a dish, it's usually in that bowl. Otherwise, everything is utilitarian and can be parted with. When I visit my sisters, however, I expect to see all that silver and china from my parents! :-)

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  4. I appreciate your attachment to these objects once owned by loved ones, and I have some too that I treasure. Those tiny blue and white piggies are extra cute, I must say.

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  5. I absolutely understand!.....we are preparing to "stage" our house for sale. I have spent weeks going thru the same accumulated stuff. For much the same reasons.....sentimental, I guess. Every item has a story....smiles

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  6. None of my three daughters have the space or inclination to take all the inherited keepsakes I've accumulated over the years. My bachelor son is even less inclined to preserve them.
    This gave me the idea that I should take pictures of all those odds and ends and tape them in a scrapbook with a note about it's meaning and origin. This might become and more meaningful legacy than burdening my descendants with the actual objects.

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  7. I save random stuff, but it's mostly useless junk. lol

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  8. Oh, my -- this is simply beautiful. I wish I was a bit less cluttered. OK, a lot, in some ways. But most of the things mean something to me. And yes, when it comes from a friend or is something from someone who may have died or moved away, it stays. Might not be my style; doesn't matter. Together these items build a part of my life.

    I loved the story about the pointy black olive dishes and all the stories about these treasures. And yes, they ARE treasures.

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  9. I'm like you I hang onto sentimental stuff, otherwise I abhor clutter.

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  10. The practical side of me is thinking: "Do I want to leave this to the kids to take care of?" My parents both died last year and due to circumstances ( which are ugly- meaning nasty relatives)... I was bequeathed items which were being controlled over a relative... Lawyers entered the picture and I decided not to take my inheritance- tho my parents left me their accounts.. Many have told me the items are 'just things'... that memories are what count... and they're right... I also know the items don't mean anything to my kids.. which is ok...Do what u feel u have to do, I did and I am ok w/it.

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  11. I'm a collector of stuff, always have been! It's just who I am. All of my cabinets and curio cabinets are full!

    I think it's sweet that you've collected so many items from those who have passed on. I have a few of those types of things, and I get much pleasure and comfort from them.

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  12. My grandmother collected salt & pepper shakers... TONS of them... they were shared throughout the family & when I see them at my mom's house, they always make me stop & remember playing with them as a child.

    Funny how things like that can bring memories right back to life.

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  13. My grandmother collected salt & pepper shakers... TONS of them... they were shared throughout the family & when I see them at my mom's house, they always make me stop & remember playing with them as a child.

    Funny how things like that can bring memories right back to life.

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  14. I am a horrible collector and dusting is painful at my house. My grandmother did it and so I did it to because that is what I knew made a house a home. Now I wish I could part with things, so much of what I have, I don't need, but I think I need help in editing all my crap for sure. Hugs!!

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  15. As much as I pride myself on not hanging on to things, I find I have accumulated much over the years. We are hoping to move into senior housing during the coming year, and space will be limited. I'm wondering what I will do with all this "stuff?"

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  16. I wish I could say that my home has no clutter but I'd be lying. I live in a large home, so it's been easy to move things to the spacious attic. Long story short, my husband and I had full home furnishings when we married, then inherited lots of stuff as 4 of our six parents died. My goal is to be almost a minimalist and I am working on it. It would help if darling husband felt the same. :) I am impressed with your dedication to having your home look the way you want it to look, and in having your keepsakes organized.

    Recently, I've been in homes of deceased people or those who are downsizing. I've learned that most people who stood to gain the numerous possessions, do not want them. As much as I have oood and ahhhed over beautiful items, I've passed on much of it, so I am assuming that no on will want my stuff either. Times have changed.

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  17. I meant to answer your question and tell you that I collect key chains from all the places I visit. It could have the name of a museum on it, a city, a state, a beach, a president, a building, etc. And when my family goes somewhere, they bring one back to me. I tried to stop, but just went to Hilton Head and Savannah, and of course, came back with my key chains. :)

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  18. Your post has the definitions of rational and irrational in it. It's probably more common than not that people save old useless things because of memories. Unless you tell potential future owners (I doubt many do, I have not) the memory attached to the item they will only see it as an item. Fortunately, most of my memorable items are small and collect in closet boxes. One thing I've been meaning to do is to sort through the saved paper items, cards, ticket stubs, post cards.

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  19. I had a ruthless cleanout a year or so ago, and miss none of the items I sent to Goodwill. Looks like some of them found their way to your house. Enjoy!! Dianne

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  20. Your loving report about the things you are cherishing moved me. I like it that you know where each item came from and you have a connection to the the person who owned it. For people like me who move so often it is not possible to collect or cherish many items. Maybe some day I will settle down and have the time and space to delight in treasures. It is enough for now to read about your joy.

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  21. So many fond memories for you!!
    I have a few things that belonged to my grandparents and my husbands grandparents. I also have a lot of old photographs that my grandmother gave. I made a scrapbook, also writing the stories that went along with each photo. I hope that my children or grandchildren will appreciate it someday.

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  22. Only a little. I have a small box I keep some of those sorts of items in and vowed to myself that anything that couldn't either fit in that box or be out in use, would go. Even if something has sentimental value, I don't want it if it isn't visually appealing to me personally.

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  23. I know I accumulate random stuff and I have all kinds of things from my grandmother, many of them books, that I want to get rid of, but it takes time to figure all that out, so there they sit, in boxes, in my closet, taking up space. Ugh. And I don't even have stories for most of it, like you do, so what's MY excuse?

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  24. i just went through the same thing a few months ago cleaning out my parents home. i would have saved everything- but i only had 2 suitcases to work with. so i saved a few chachkas and try not to think about the rest. :)
    p.s. :):):) i remember my dad always telling my stepmom when she´d complain about my room... "just shut the door."... but haven´t grown out of being the "snack queen" :):):)
    big hugs jj!

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  25. I just wanted to thank you so much for being a faithful bloggy friend. You come to my blog, read what I share and leave a kind comment. All when I have been almost nonexistent for over a month. Thank you, thank you. It means so much to me.

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  26. Will there ever be a time when I will acknowledge to myself that I, too, am a hoarder? :-) I recognise the symptoms from your well-articulated post. Many thanks. Keep accumulating! :-)

    Greetings from London.

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  27. Oh, I can relate ... and I love the line, "I am a minimalist with other people's stuff" -- that says it all. It's hard to part with these things, I know.

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  28. Oh boy, can I ever relate! Especially right now, as I'm packing up my home of 29 years to move. I am trying to make sure my sons appreciate and accept some things from the grandparents that they hardly (my mother) or never (my father) knew. I am passing things along to my nieces as well. But it's tough. I have more things than I can use or display and very little space in which to store it.

    I love that you protect the items that were important to others. You're a sweetie, Joanna.

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  29. I'm not sure where it all came from, but yes our house seems full of random items. My 10 year old daughter is a collector of everything from rocks to notebooks and despite my best efforts, she isn't good at keeping them organized. I also buy a lot of props and things for my Etsy shop use and they are adding up. Need to get organized!

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  30. I can only fit so much 'stuff' in because my home is small...but I DID bust out laughing earlier in your post about when you were a teen. Suddenly I was transported back to my bedroom door, where my mother had clipped a picture and article heading from a newspaper about some hurricane that had hit somewhere. She taped that to my door. I think that she was trying to get a message through to me, lol...

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  31. I guess I should be glad i don't have a large family! I was a "hoarder", with many collections that I cherished. My sons referred to it all as "junk". Only a few things came to me from my mother. I didn't really know my father well and my brother and his wife, I'm sure, will have nothing for me, with two sons and grandchildren. I am sure I will journey onward before my brother, probably, though.

    When my nursing position of 21 years ended and I could no longer afford ( or need ) to rent a four bedroom home, I decided to make these journeys to India. I got rid of literally everything - except a few items of "junk" that I cherish too much. About 450 my 500 cookbooks went to friends and Goodwill ( heavens, I never cook anymore ) but I held on to my Wedgewood wild strawberry dishes and all the strawberry collection that graced my bedroom. It is probably being destroyed by mold, etc, in my one huge storage rental.

    Someday soon, I must come home and find a small space in which to live...then I can save the $400 storage is costing me. At least, I'll still have some of my "junk" to comfort me.

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  32. Yes, I do. Too much of it. Your table could be mine if I emptied out cupboards, and I need to address it. My sons will never want this stuff and I have already unloaded a bunch to nieces
    . What to do!!that is the question of the hour.

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