Sunday, April 1, 2012

Seeing Red and GIVEAWAY!


 Like so many Sundays in the past, I made my usual mile and a half circle around the neighborhood doing errands-- dry cleaners, bank ATM, pharmacy, breakfast at the deli with my husband, then off to grocery shop.  I prefer to stay in the neighborhood and support the smaller, local business whenever I can.

But maybe not anymore.

All the people at the above mentioned stops know me by name and I know most all of the employees.  Like the guy at the dry cleaner... 

As Mario, the high school senior, sorted through my small armload of clothes, a pair of my panties fell to the floor.  I'm not sure which one of us was more embarrassed at the sight, but I know for sure that I could feel the heat on my face as it turned three shades of red.. to match the color of my panties.

We had one of those awkward moments before I reached to the floor to snatch them up and stuffed them into my purse-- Cuz let's face it, they'd been worn and well.... Ewww!  As you might imagine, I got out of there as quickly as possible, panties in my purse, and went on about my business.

For the next 90 minutes I made my rounds, opening my purse to get out my wallet to pay at each place of business.  Once at home again, after the groceries had been unpacked and put away, I went to my purse to retrieve the red panties and--

WHT?!?

They were gone, which obviously means I'd unknowingly left them behind at one of my errands when I opened my purse.

At that moment I'm not sure which I felt--  Relieved that the panties were at least the nice ones and not a gigantic pair of granny panties-- Mortified that my undies were in an unknown location for some poor soul (that I know!) to discover-- Or worse, someone knew they belonged to me but was too embarrassed to tell me to pick them up!

And this is NOT an April Fool's Day joke.  It's totally for real. 

Dare I retrace my steps and see if I can locate the missing garment so no one else has to handle them?  Perhaps they've been kicked under a counter, hung on the sign by the ATM machine, in the parking lot of the pharmacy, on the floor under a table at the deli or in the frozen food section of the market. 

Or do I call it a day and chalk it up to... to... to...  what would you call this anyway???

Big sigh.  I think I'll stay put and pray the next time I drive down the Boulevard I don't see them flapping in the wind. 

Happy Sunday everyone.
Welcome to www.TheFiftyFactor.com  -  Joanna Jenkins
DON'T FORGET TO ENTER MY GIVEAWAY.
 WIN THIS GORGEOUS SPRING WREATH!  

Photo Credit: © Yael Weiss - Fotolia.com

39 comments:

Chris H said...

OMG I would just die of embarrassment if I saw them flapping in the wind anywhere! LOL... at least they were nice ones.

Mari said...

Oh my word! You can't make this kind of thing up.
I would stay put too and just pray the person who found them has no idea where they came from.
Glad you have as good sense of humor and are willing to share this! :)

Nezzy said...

Glory girl!!! Heeehehehehe!!! I think ya just need to forget the whole thing and treat yourself to a trip to Victoria's Secret or Sanomas.

God bless you and have a great day void of any lost bloomers! :o)

Brian Miller said...

oh my...i am just glad it is not back in the day when mom used to make us put our name in them when going to camp...smiles....

oceangirl said...

I chuckled and smiled at every comment above me.

Ami said...

You were WEARING clean ones, right?

::snicker::

Kristina P. said...

I'm sure you made someone's day!

Christine said...

oh dear, lol!

Jeanie said...

My face is red right along with you...I had the same thing happen at the dry cleaners once, except the guy pulled them out of my pants and handed them to me. I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I don't think I lost them somewhere else though, but I may have thrown them in a trash can.

Ms Sparrow said...

Just imagine the bit of mystery you have added to someone's life. They will speculate on why the panties were removed from the owner and how she came to lose them and how old might she be....

Jayne said...

LOL! There is a story behind every lost garment, out there, alone (or maybe not so alone) in the world. Yours, though, is probably the best.

You know there's a website for lost gloves?--pictures are posted of gloves found and owners can browse to retrieve them. I wonder if there's a site for lost panties. ;)

Deb said...

Oh Dear God - couldn't you just DIE? I'm hopeful no one saw them fall out of your purse, and that they were just randomly found somewhere. That's probably wishful thinking, but one can always hope.

I had something similar happen once, when I was a tiny, young, skinny thing. I can home from work and quickly changed out of my military uniform into yesterday's skin tight jeans so I could get to the grocery store before it closed. As I was walking down an aisle, I felt a lump moving down my leg. I shook my leg, perplexed, and :::plop::: yesterday's underwear shot out of my pant leg onto the aisle floor. Uh, yes, people were looking. I just snatched them up, shoved them in my jean pocket, and scurried off. I could have died!

Deb Colarossi said...

oh , girl!!!
I am dying just thinking about it!

DJan said...

Panties? What panties? No, I don't know anything about them. Pu-leese! So funny! :-)

Taradharma said...

ok, i'm laughing so hard there are tears in my eyes! Please, DO NOT RETRACE your steps! Let sleeping dogs lie...or abandoned panties live out their destiny without you being there.

They are big girl panties...they can take care of themselves.

Chrisy said...

oooh mortification girl! flashing your knickers about round the neighbourhood...wow...don't know what I'd do...just glanced up and saw Taradharma's comment..so funny...

Marilyn *Pink Martinis and Pearls* said...

Oh my gosh! This is too funny. At least it provided you with a good story to share. Have a good week!

Flartus said...

Only you, m'dear...only you. :)

Formerly known as Frau said...

Omg...JJ I'm sorry but girl you made my Monday morn....laughing so hard only because I feel your pain and also cause it's pretty funny! Sorry...hee hee hee!

Webster said...

Let sleeping panties lie.

SueAnn said...

OMG!!!! Ha!! Ha!!! Ha!!! That is way too funny..embarrassing for sure but Oh So Funny!!!
Hugs
SueAnn

The Empress said...

Laughing, thinking about the story the one finding them imagined.

So unlike the truth...

xo

Eva Gallant said...

OMG! You poor thing! I can't help giggling, though!

ladyfi said...

LOL - poor you. I'd leave the panties to their fate if I were you...

Holly said...

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL I can't really type because I'm laughing like a mad woman!!!! LEAVE THEM!!! And, what has me laughing so hard is not your WTH moment, but the WTF moment of the person who finds said red panties laying someplace you wouldn't expect to find them. Laughing at someone looking around and wondering, "WTF happened to the woman who was wearing these?!?!!"

Sightings said...

Would you call that a panty waste -- or say you were panty hosed? Too funny.

CiCi said...

Mario must have seen panties before, but I can understand why you would be a little disconcerted to see them fall out in front of the two of you. I bet you are way more careful sorting the clothes for the dry cleaner from now on. Hopefully you will never know what happened to the red panties. So treat yourself to some new ones.

Sarah said...

OMG OMG OMG...giggle snort..am blowing pop out my nose...hehehehe. Sorry..ehem..that was the best story I have read all week and it totally made my day. Thank you hon:) Huge hugs, Sarah

Tammy said...

Oh My I died for you having to pick them up in front of someone. As for losing them, I'd call it a day and pretend you've never seen those panties in your life and never ever reclaim them. Cuz I'd die having to say, ummm those are mine, yikes I can't imagine how red a person would get having to claim them - and lets face it, those drawers need, no wanted to be free of you, haha!!

Hilary said...

This is hilarious. You experience the funniest events. Hopefully your nosy, trash-picking neighbour never saw it happen. ;)

Cathy Clementz said...

What a way to start my day! HOW FUNNY!!! I guess just be glad they didn't just kind of "hang" out of your purse in various stores! You give a whole new meaning to "don't get your panties in a bunch!"

Shrinky said...

Hang on, you DRY CLEAN your knickers?? Bloomin' heck, I'm impressed! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa, oh so funny - I imagine one of the guys you regularly shop at saw you drop them, and instantly concluded you'd come fresh from a quickie with your illicit lover, in the car park.. (giggle)

Friko said...

Hm, problem. If they are special panties, then maybe I'd try to retrieve them. If not, forget them and put a brazen face on the next time you do the rounds.

It could happen to anyone. Erm, maybe not, I don't think I'd get my underwear mixed up with my dry cleaning. At least I hope not.

Shug said...

I needed this laugh tonight....oh my! What a situation!! Of course, Mario has probably already told Stan, who has already told Peter, who can't wait to tell Bobby Joe....
Bless you....I think I'd march myself down to the mall and by me some brand new RED panties, with no looking back!!!

Hugs!

PⒿ @ $ € € ₦$ ₣®0₥... said...

This calls for a super hero strength change of perspective!

I say let by gone panties be gone and smile because the were pretty and red. No shame there, JJ.

By the way, at one time or another, we all wear them...even Lindsay Lohan and Brittney Spears. :-)

Michelle said...

Oh my heavens. I can't stop laughing. I LOVE this. Love it. And ummmm no, you don't retrace it. For everyone's sake, this never happened.

Amy said...

OMG....You have my Grama and I in stitches...and then to read the comments afterword adds too it...you are a brave soul my friend to "air your dirty laundry" (pun intended) for us to....ehem....enjoy....I can't stop laughing....I would simply do as many others suggested, put on a good face, and pretend you don't have a clue whose panties those were....and for the record... I could SO see my Aunt Jeannie doing this! You are not alone!

Cindy La Ferle said...

Well, at least they sound like NICE panties -- red and fancy -- as opposed to ugly granny panties, right? LOL :-)

JillsyGirl Studio said...

OMG...Joanna, this is about the funniest blog post I've ever read! I'm ROFL!