Here in the Jenkins House of Colds and Flu, I knew that after more than three weeks with the worst bronchitis bug I've had in years, that I was looking pretty ragged but I didn't know exactly how bad I was looking until our neighbor, a real estate agent, knocked on the door.
Let's call this guy "Bruce". He knocks on our door every month to hand out some useless tshatshke with his name and phone number on it in hopes that, should we decided to sell our house, we'll call him first. He's a nice enough guy but with a drawer full of his junk I kinda feel bad taking any more of his promo materials.
This time when I opened the door for Bruce, he took a giant step backwards away from me. That was my first clue that I was clearly not at my best and wondered if I'd even combed my hair that morning. He proceed to chat with his notepad covering his mouth and nose despite my being a full six feet away and with absolutely no plans of kissing the guy on the lips, or anywhere else for that matter.
He chatted away as I suppressed a cough and the urge to blow my nose all the while nodding my head at the appropriate times. For the record, if Bruce wasn't a neighbor, I'd have never opened the door. I'm not a fan of those types of cold calls and have no intention of selling my home anytime soon.
Five minutes into his chattering and close to the moment I thought I'd teeter over from boredom and/or a cough attack, Bruce changed conversation gears, got very serious, and handed me his business card. The expression on his face was that of a guy who'd just eaten a sour pickle. In hindsight, perhaps he was concerned that my eyes were starting to roll around my head.
Bruce proceed, with great concern, to tell me that he sincerely hoped I had my Will and estate in order and asked if I would please include his business card along with a note stating that he was my preferred real estate agent should I pass away before I sold the house.
I stood there in stunned silence.
So he kept on talking.... Saying that it's always best not to die in the house if at all possible and certainly not to die in some horrific manner as it would stigmatize the house and must be disclosed to potential buyers.
For the record, I am a licensed real estate agent and I know all about disclosing info on a property but I have never, ever, heard a real estate agent asking to be included in a Last Will and Testament, but there my neighbor was, doing just that.
I stood there taking this hideous sales pitch in and wondered if Bruce was giving this spiel to the entire neighborhood or just me in all my bronchitis glory. I thought for a moment of bursting out laughing in his face but, well, he's a neighbor and that could be awkward. So instead, I started coughing, and coughing and coughing..... until he went away.
Welcome to www.TheFiftyFactor.com - Joanna Jenkins
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