Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Watermelon


One of life's little pleasures is to pull up to your home and see a package waiting for you at the front door.  The anticipation of seeing who it's from and what the brown cardboard box holds is a small joy that can't help but put a smile on your face.

That's what happened to Godson on Friday.  One of my nieces, who visited here last Spring, knew he and his mom were big gardeners and had the yard in their new house to plant a sizable vegetable garden.

Well, the garden is about to get a little bigger.  Godson received a "Giant Watermelon Growing Kit".

His mom and I spent a few hours this past weekend working on the soil and preparing the bed where the watermelons would reside.  It's a huge, wide planter, quite deep, that runs along two sides of the yard near the swimming pool-- Perfect for watermelon vines that can grow up to 12 feet long.

This planter has been there for a very long while and was in need of soil amendments and freshening up before anything could possibly grow so we got out the usual garden tools, worked like dogs, and dug and turned and dug and turned and dug, and dug and.... WTH!?!?!

We started to hit junk-- Filler junk so that the original owners wouldn't need so much dirt-- Lots of empty plastic bottles, bricks, old pipe fittings, plastic kids toys, including a couple of Barbie dolls, dozens of tennis balls, broken pottery, a pair of tennis shoes, and one very large, hot pink, anatomically correct-- vibrator!

Yes, vibrator.

I pulled that thing out, realized what it was, and tossed in the air like a hot potato... which my BFF caught and immediately tossed over her shoulder... Landing in the swimming pool... Where it looked even pinker and even bigger.

We were laughing so hard it took us about ten minutes to fish it out of the deep end of the pool.  Staring as it dripped in the pool net, we did the only thing we could think of and buried it back in the far end of the planter where it will hopefully never be seen again.

Why didn't we put it in the garbage?  BFF has a neighbor who's famous for garbage picking in other people's trash and THAT was the last thing we wanted the picker to pull out!

Welcome to www.TheFiftyFactor.com  -  Joanna Jenkins
Photo Credit: © Igor Kovalchuk - Fotolia.com


55 comments:

Betty WSch. said...

ROTFLOL!!! I can only imagine the look on your faces. hahaha

CiCi said...

Your niece knows how to pick great gifts.

You crack me up, you could have put new batteries in the pink vibrator and buried it not so deep and experimented if the vibrated vines produced more than the left out ones!

Nezzy said...

Oh my goodness glory girlfriend, what a 'stimulatin' story. Heehehehehee!!!

Sometimes I simply have no self~control.

Ya got me cryin' here picturin' ya'll tossin' a vibrator round like a hot potato. What a hoot!

God bless and thanks for the very fun post!!! :o)

SueAnn said...

Oh how funny!! Amazing what people will throw out but in the garden?? As filler?? Sheesh!!
Hugs
SueAnn

Simone said...

That is hilarious. I can just imagine the hot pink "thing" floating in the pool. You seriously gave me a laugh that was needed for sure. Thank you, my friend. Hope Godson grows huge watermelon that he can be proud of.

Mari said...

That is so funny! I can just picture the look on your face when you realized what that was.

Formerly known as Frau said...

I'm sitting at the car repair shop LMAO and then. I read Nezzy comment oh my too funny ! I can just see you all freaking out!!

Kristina P. said...

Wow, it's like a treasure hunt!

Brian Miller said...

hehehe you would be the talk of the nieghborhood....lol...

you found it where...?

the house of the large with the giant watermelons...

yep that is how rumors get out of hand...

Brian Miller said...

hehehe you would be the talk of the nieghborhood....lol...

you found it where...?

the house of the large with the giant watermelons...

yep that is how rumors get out of hand...

ethelmaepotter! said...

It's not often when I'm on the computer that I laugh loud enough to wake my dog and have him look at me like I just fished a hot pink vibrator out of the swimming pool.
You certainly paint a vivid picture! Now I'm left to wonder WHY it was there in the first place.
Hot pink. Oh my.

Cathy Clementz said...

MAYBE the previous owner's were trying to grow something very unique in their garden??? Made my day!!!

For my divorce many years ago, my girlfriend and I were going out to celebrate by going bowling (of course there was a bar there). SHE got ME a huge vibrator and I didn't know it till my purse, sitting on the table by the bar, started vibrating. I didn't know what the heck was going on so innocent me, I opened my purse and pulled this thing out IN PUBLIC WITH IT STILL VIBRATING. I could have DIED!

Chris H said...

OMG YOU TOUCHED IT!~ Shudder and ikkkkkk!
I would have reburied it too.

R. J. said...

Oh my goodness! How funny is that! I would have driven it across town to a convenience store bin to drop it off. I don't understand dumpster diving folks. My trash is never anyone's treasure. Gotta love those watermelons. They are a necessary part of my diet along with cantaloupe.

Taradharma said...

well, I guess you can be grateful you didn't unearth a human corpse, right?!

bill lisleman said...

You reburied it. How funny. Some distant archeologist will publish a paper claiming they discovered a site of sexual worship.

Jeanie said...

Well, that gives a new meaning to the idea of buried treasure. You have to wonder about the story behind all the stuff that was buried and why. On the other hand, maybe we don't want to know the story behind the "hot potato" item.

Sarah said...

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ROFLMAO...blowing chai through my nose..that is too funny..ewwwwww but giggle snort! OMG...hehehehehe! You are too funny hon!! Thank you I needed that!
I miss you too..am so busy and my classes are kicking my backside LOL! Am doing well..just down to those senior year hard classes!! Also trying to keep up with the artwork and knitting:) Huge hugs to you my friend!

Christine said...

what a story, did not expect that one at all, lol.

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell said...

I would have been absolutely rolling too! But I'm also dying with laughter that you reburied it!

Ina in Alaska said...

Oh my that is quite a find! And you have a trash picking neighbor to boot! What a story- you couldn't make something like that up! Hilarious!

LadyFi said...

Oh... that is so funny!

Dr. Kathy McCoy said...

I'm still laughing! What a great story! (And I love Jeanie's comment about it giving a new meaning to "buried treasure"!

WorkingBoomer said...

I got up early this morning to do a little reading. I came across this blog. Now I am laughing fo hard that it has set the tone for my day. Thank you, thank you!

DJan said...

That is truly hilarious. Not to mention some of the comments here, too. You will never be able to eat those watermelons without smiling at this memory. Oh my!

Flartus said...

Oh, you totally should have put that in the trash-picker's own trash can! Or even better, on their doorstep. ;)

BTW, where was Godson while all this "hard" work was going on? (Yeah, I went there.)

Tammy said...

I have never laughed so hard at 6 in the morning when I read this. I'd have done exactly what you did and laughed till I peed my pants. I would have loved to have seen you two when you dug this up!! Hugs.

Ms Sparrow said...

That is so funny! It leaves your imagination to run wild speculating on how the thing got there in the first place.

Hilary said...

Oh that's just hilarious. Was it watermelon pink, by chance? ;)

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

You totally get the prize for finding the weirdest junk!

Sightings said...

You should win some kind of award for this great story. Oh wait ... maybe not, considering what the prize might be!

LadyFi said...

To answer your question about Pinterest....

That's a tricky one about Pinterest. I love spreading the love, but the problem is that when you sign the terms and conditions with Pinterest, you promise that you have PERMISSION from the photographer to re-pin her photos (which clearly people don't have). And once you've re-pinned a photo you say you have permission for, then according to the agreement you signed with Pinterest, they can then use that photo and sell it to others. If the person who took the photo finds out and decides to go to court, then you are responsible for all the costs.

So - I like the thought behind Pinterest, but not the commercial aspect they have of saying they own anything pinned there.

Cinner said...

Joanna, that is the funniest thing ever and to have it land in the pool. I would have burried it to, yes because of people going through the trash. lol. Good luck with the watermelon growing, loved that picture. hope you are well, thanks for making my day. hugs.

Shrinky said...

Haaaaaaaaaaa, I don't know which is the funniest, the vibrator find or the rubbish picker for a neighbour.

Just had a thought - maybe the vibrator just an itty-bitty weiner of a thing, when it was first planted??

I love watermelons - in my mis-spent youth, I used to inject them with vodka and chill them in the fridge overnight..

Sweet Tea said...

Nooooooooo! Wish you'd had that for "Funniest Home Videos" and you'd be a millionaire!! Now that's a story, GF!!

Tracy said...

oh my goodness...thanks for the laugh! I can see it all happening!

Amy said...

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg...my husband says, very sleepily, "What are you laughing at?" i woke him up...and now I have to pee....

That was hilarious...I would have put that sucker in the garbage can simply to teach garbage picker a lesson! ha ha ha...do you really want to investigate my trash in the future? that's too funny!!!! i could die!!! Thanks for the laugh...I can't wait to read this blog post to Grama on Monday!

Ami said...

WHY didn't you take a picture for your blog? What kind of self respecting blogger would let that opportunity pass??

Tsk tsk.

diane said...

Joanna, that's disgusting and hilarious.
Hope you are feeling all better, get lots of sun. xo d

Mrs4444 said...

That's one of the best stories I've heard in a long time! I agree with Diane--Disgusting AND hilarious! :)

Chrisy said...

That pic goes sooo well with this post! And the way you tell the story girl, hell I saw the whole scenario play out...what a scream!

PⒿ @ $ € € ₦$ ₣®0₥... said...

Proving, once again that real life is more unpredictable than fiction any day!

Midwest to Midlands said...

Hilarious story.

Joyce said...

I bet that corner will have the biggest watermelons! Ummm... that is a toss up to replant it for next homeowners to discover or the neighbor trash picker. xo

Holly said...

I am finally back home from My Lion's business trip to Disney World. And, I am finally sane enough that they let me out for few minutes of quiet time, so I came to see you right away. I am not sure, but I think I would have put it in the trash right under the lid. It would have been worth it to see the look on the Dumpster Diver's face. But, then again, it could just be the Disney talking.

TexWisGirl said...

OMG! hilarious find! and even better that you re-buried it! :)

came over from hilary's to say congrats on your POTW!

Suldog said...

Congratulations on Post Of The Week! Extremely well-deserved. I loved the imagery of the "thing" being tossed from one person to another and then into the pool. However, if I had a neighbor that snoopy, I might have tried to plant it in HER rubbish, right on top for every other neighbor to see. It would serve her right.

Stephen Hayes said...

I just found your blog thanks to Smitten Image and I just love your sense of humor and the way you write. I know I'll be back for more. I hope you will visit me some time at Chubby Chatterbox. If you do, I hope you'll press the join button and I'll return the favor. Have a great day. You have a wonderful blog.

CC said...

That is AWESOME! And very, very odd!! Who knew you were living on a dump site?? ;)

Friko said...

Oh, I am disappointed. I thought you might be using it as a garden ornament?

Thanks for visiting my blog, I think yours is great fun.

Hilary said...

OMG, a garden ornament. YES.
good one.

Congrats on POTW.

Reena Walkling said...

Stopped in from over at Hilary's place. So glad I did! This was awesomely funny! Think I'll be stopping by here more often!

Jayne said...

Joanna- came to you by way of Hilary. Happy POTW! I loved this--very funny. Truth is stranger the fiction, eh? I loved, even more, your most recent piece--never let go of that passion. ;)

Wonderful work you're doing. New follower. :)

Jodi Lobozzo Aman said...

Thats hysterical, not wanting someone to find it in the garbage! Hahah!

Unknown Mami said...

Well, I hope it doesn't grow a crop of anatomically correct vibrating watermelons.