Sunday, April 12, 2009

Ode To The Obama Dog - Not The Crazy Dog Lady

I absolutely love babies and animals but I do not have either.  And, I'm not complaining.  I knew early in life that I wasn't cut out for motherhood on any level and I've never regretted either decision for a moment.

But with all the "Obama Dog Drama" of late, I've been tempted to pick up a pooch or carry a cat home from my local shelter. They're just so darn cute!  It would be nice to have a furry friend curled up at my feet.  But no!  I must stand firm.  The older I get the more sure I am about my "no pet" policy.

You see, in my small Midwest hometown there was a lovely spinster librarian who lived on a big piece of land on the main drag of town.  Despite the property's size, it's location lent itself to the whole town always knowing her business.  One day, the locals noticed she had a few sheep roaming in the yard.  Then more sheep.  And more sheep.  And more sheep!  I'm talking about A LOT of sheep roaming outside and inside her house.  It was quite a sight and you can only imagine the smell.  Since she had no children, she immediately became known as the town's "Crazy Sheep Lady" who had sheep instead of kids.  It was such a stinky spectacle, and people talked about her so much, that she is why, even after all these years, I simply cannot have a pet of my own.

I have no doubt that, like the Crazy Sheep Lady, I too would not stop with just one fluff-ball to call my own.  A person always needs at least two pets so they can keep each other company. And of course I'd feed any stray cats my precious flea-bag might bring home.  Then, before you know it, I'd be the Crazy Cat Lady-- The nut case with too many cats instead of kids.  No thank you.

A dog would be even worse.  Do you ever notice that nobody makes fun of grown women-- with children-- who coo over their pampered pups?  You know the type.  They talk baby talk to their doggie-woggie and put bows and in their fur and booties on their paws.  But a woman without children dressing and carrying their pup in their Prada-- Well, the Crazy Dog Lady title is all but hers.

So no pets for this fifty-something non-mama.  I'll live vicariously through Malia and Sasha Obama and hope they love their new Portuguese Water Dog, named Bo, enough for all of us.

What's your take on pets?
Welcome to TheFiftyFactor  -  Joanna


  1. I was looking for a funny, quirky gift for hubby the other day (along the lines of a Joe Biden punching bag because he screams at the T.V whenever the doof comes on) and actually found a "crazy cat lady" action figure complete with a dozen cats. I laughed so hard I blacked out and bonked my nose on the desk.

    Not really. But that sounds better than what really happened which involved damn near a bucket of mucus. achoo! ;-)


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