Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Blame It On The Kids

I did a bad, bad Oreo thing.

Consider, if you would, a box of Oreos.   Do you know how many Oreos there are in a row?  I'll tell you-- A shameful 15 Oreos are in a row-- That's how many!

It started innocently enough. Wide awake yet again, thanks to menopause insomnia, I roamed the house trying to exhaust myself into sleep.   Finally I decided on some Sudoku action at the kitchen table.  That usually has me snoring in no time.  

The next thing I knew I was in front of the open "snack drawer"-- The place where sweets and treats are kept for the younger generation.  It's filled with tons of confectionary crap I usually never eat myself but always delights the kids, making me a hero in their eyes.  You know what I'm talking about-- The junk foods their parents won't buy for them.  Well, I've got it, and they love me for it.

I just needed a little something.  Just a tiny taste.  And then it happened-- In 3 short minutes-- before I even realized it.  I downed an entire row of Oreo cookies from the package, along with a quart of milk.  Damn!

Yes, I actually gulped 440 calories per minute.  That's 1320 calories in less time than it takes me to tie my shoes.  Damn, I can't even remember what they tasted like. Guilt rushes in as I look down at the crumbs on my nightgown.  Now I'll never get to sleep.

You see, other than the hideous calorie overdose, Oreos are a fave of my young godson, Jacob, who, I might add, keeps count of the cookies in the package.  He's at our house two or three times a week and picked Oreos as his fave after-school snack for the drawer.   Jacob is somewhat territorial about his Oreos and is not inclined to share-- with anyone.

I know I will be totally busted when he arrives tomorrow.  I pace the house again, this time trying to find a reasonable explanation for pigging-out on his Oreos.  The sugar rush is increasing my headache as the sun starts to rise over the horizon.  

The way I see it, I have two choices.  I can blame the missing row of cookies on the "other kids", or I can buy a new box first thing in the morning and hide the evidence. In my sleepless sugar haze, those are the only two options I can come up with.

But wait, no one is looking.  I can eat the last row of Oreos tonight AND buy a new box in the morning.  Now there's an idea.....

What's your favorite sweet treat?
Welcome to TheFiftyFactor  - Joanna

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