I did a bad, bad Oreo thing.
Consider, if you would, a box of Oreos. Do you know how many Oreos there are in a row? I'll tell you-- A shameful 15 Oreos are in a row-- That's how many!
It started innocently enough. Wide awake yet again, thanks to menopause insomnia, I roamed the house trying to exhaust myself into sleep. Finally I decided on some Sudoku action at the kitchen table. That usually has me snoring in no time.
The next thing I knew I was in front of the open "snack drawer"-- The place where sweets and treats are kept for the younger generation. It's filled with tons of confectionary crap I usually never eat myself but always delights the kids, making me a hero in their eyes. You know what I'm talking about-- The junk foods their parents won't buy for them. Well, I've got it, and they love me for it.
I just needed a little something. Just a tiny taste. And then it happened-- In 3 short minutes-- before I even realized it. I downed an entire row of Oreo cookies from the package, along with a quart of milk. Damn!
Yes, I actually gulped 440 calories per minute. That's 1320 calories in less time than it takes me to tie my shoes. Damn, I can't even remember what they tasted like. Guilt rushes in as I look down at the crumbs on my nightgown. Now I'll never get to sleep.
You see, other than the hideous calorie overdose, Oreos are a fave of my young godson, Jacob, who, I might add, keeps count of the cookies in the package. He's at our house two or three times a week and picked Oreos as his fave after-school snack for the drawer. Jacob is somewhat territorial about his Oreos and is not inclined to share-- with anyone.
I know I will be totally busted when he arrives tomorrow. I pace the house again, this time trying to find a reasonable explanation for pigging-out on his Oreos. The sugar rush is increasing my headache as the sun starts to rise over the horizon.
The way I see it, I have two choices. I can blame the missing row of cookies on the "other kids", or I can buy a new box first thing in the morning and hide the evidence. In my sleepless sugar haze, those are the only two options I can come up with.
But wait, no one is looking. I can eat the last row of Oreos tonight AND buy a new box in the morning. Now there's an idea.....
What's your favorite sweet treat?
Welcome to TheFiftyFactor - Joanna