In an attempt to see my "glass half full", I've written a lot lately about love stories, sentimental occasions and happy endings. All are precious memories that warm my heart and help keep my "glass" on the full side.
In actuality, there have been many, many "glass half empty" days of late. I've attended far more funerals than weddings, receive more devastating news than my heart can hold and I carry with me a sense of loss and, occasionally, dread for what's to come.
Family members and friends are desperately ill; several have passed away in the recent months. For some it was a "blessing" that ended suffering and illness, others were "blessed" to die peacefully in their sleep before their disease turned ugly. And a few loved ones simply passed way much too young, with no warning--something I still have no words for. Although I understand and firmly believe no one should suffer, on any level, when sick or passing, I am stunned by loss and sadness. So I cling to cherished memories and hope, with time, that the sting will soften, although I doubt the pain will ever disappear.
Maybe losing friends and loved ones is the price you pay for reaching middle-age. Our harsh reality is that life does not have any alumni. With each loss, life seems to slow to a deafening silence. Keeping the "glass full" requires much more work, at least for me, even though my life is good and happy and content.
This past weekend, I discussed my sadness with my Aunt who is also a Hospice counselor. Simply put, she knows death and has experienced it more times than she can count in her long healthcare career.
As she helped guide me through my grief, she slowly shifted the conversation with positive "what if" type questions to help "full my glass" back up again. One question, in particular, caught my attention and has been on my mind ever since....
If I had the chance to come back in another life, what or who would I want to be?
My first response, without a moment's hesitation, was to come back as a man, but only for 24 hours.
I've always tried to figure out the opposite sex and if I could change places for a day, and be a man, I would. If it was a day that included great sex with a woman, reasoning with a woman and prioritizing life with a woman, well then, all the better.
Bring it on! I think it would be fascinating.
My response was a first for my Aunt's "next life" question. She was thinking more in terms of a full "next life", not 24 hours, but we had a good laugh even though she knew I was dead serious about my choice, no pun intended.
Life goes on and I'm still processing my sadness, but I can't stop wondering what it would be like to be someone else in the hereafter. If I couldn't be a man for 24 hours-- And believe me, 24 hours would be more than enough time for me to be a man-- I would want to come back as a much loved pet; the pampered, brushed, scratched, rubbed, kissed and fed treats all day long, kind of pet. I think being a fur-ball with my owner wrapped around my tail would be a very nice life.
What or who, given the opportunity, would you want to come back as?
Welcome to The Fifty Factor - Joanna