Why am I torturing myself like this? Believe me, I've asked myself that question numerous times in the last 3 days. Truth is, my doctor said I consume way too much caffeine on a daily basis and it could be the cause, or at least a contributing factor, to my inability to fall asleep, stay asleep and/or wake up rested. Since I am desperate for sleep, I stopped caffeine cold turkey and pray this gawd awful withdrawal will be over soon.
And I don't even drink coffee! It goes back to my first job at age 15 when I was a waitress in our local coffee shop. Every Saturday morning at 5AM, my job was to empty last night's vat of stinky coffee grounds and make a fresh urn of java. The smell was disgusting! That did it for me, I couldn't stand it. No coffee for this little girl, not ever. Seriously, I can't even eat Coffee Ice Cream and I LOVE ice cream.
No, my caffeine of choice was ice cold Coca-Cola. I started with "regular" Coke, loaded with sugar and caffeine. Later, with age and maturity (translation: middle-age spread) I switched to Diet Coke but kept all the caffeine. Throw in about a gallon of good old Lipton Ice Tea each day plus every piece of chocolate I can get my hands on, and well, I was in blissful caffeine overload.
Which brings me back to quitting cold turkey. Oh how I miss the sound of the Coke can snapping open and the burn of the Coke as it drains down my throat before I've even had my morning shower. How I long to chug a glass of ice tea in three giant gulps then pile more ice into the glass and start all over again.
Did I mention my head hurts?
How much longer will it take to "cleanse" my system and feel some relief? At day three, I'm not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel any time soon!
To try to move things along, I Googled "caffeine withdrawal" to find some solutions. Big mistake! All that did was scare the daylights out of me. Who knew this "mood altering drug" could be so damaging? It left me thinking Coke should come with a warning label like cigarettes.
My next thought was to swing by the pharmacy for a "patch" like the ones smokers use to kick the habit. No luck. Apparently caffeine is not addictive enough to warrant one. Damn.
Do you think inhaling the wonderful smell of an open bag of Scharffen Berger cocoa powder counts as "falling off the wagon"? I've done that three times already today and it's only noon. Jeez, it smells good, but not good enough to kill this headache.
Without question, I have a new found respect for anyone committed to the "cold turkey" approach to stop sugar, carbs, chocolate, whatever. I can only imagine the strength needed to stop smoking, alcohol, drugs or the likes. I'm not sure I have it in me.
So with 74 hours "clean", I'm not feeling all that much better but I'm hoping a "new caffeine-free me" is just around the corner-- So I can take a nap and actually sleep-- which is the point for all this torture! Ahhh a girl can dream.
Have you had to kick a bad habit cold turkey? If so, I feel your pain.
Welcome to The Fifty Factor - Joanna