Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Give Me A Ring


On Baby Sister's wedding day, as her Maid of Honor, it was my duty to keep the bride-to-be happy, so when she said she was having a "Big Mac Attack", I headed for the closest McDonald's drive through with her on the way to the wedding ceremony. No she wasn't in her wedding dress yet, but we were all glammed up and it was two hours before she became a "Mrs.".

This couple was smart-- From the moment they decided to get married knew they wanted a small wedding and managed not to get swept up in "wedding fever". Theirs was a deliberately small wedding that included their large families and only the couple's closest of friends.

Of course she was a stunning bride and very excited, but relaxed, on her big day as we hung out in the "Bride's Room" at the church, munching on burgers and fries before the ceremony. We ran down our "to-do" list and she casually gave me the wedding rings to "take care of" but I reminded her that it was the Bestman's job, not mine, and we moved onto the next chore-- grape juice substituted for the wine during the ceremony.

I was so careful with that deep purple glass jar of juice. The last thing I needed was to have a big purple stain all over the bride dressed-in-white or myself-- But I nearly tripped when I spied the Hubby-to-be on the way to deliver the juice. He looked a little on the nervous side with an odd smile plastered on his face-- A very green face which occasionally turned to ghostly gray. Oh, and he was sweating bullets too.

Groom gave me a quick thumbs up and assured me all was well but I asked the Bestman to keep on eye on him anyway. But otherwise, things were going smoothly and I swear I could hear the angels singing on this very happy day.

By the time I saw the Groom again later, at the end of the aisle waiting for his bride, I momentarily thought he might simply collapse in a heap-- or throw up all over the Minister's shoes, one or the other, but he managed to keep his nerves in check and greeted Baby Sister with a big smile and a tear in his eye.

The small gathered crowd of about 50 sighed collectively in happiness and we all turned our attention to the Minister standing a few feet away from me holding his opened Bible. It was then I knew we had a problem.

A major problem.

The Minister was wearing a huge gold ring. In a flash I remembered the wedding rings were never delivered to the Bestman and were in fact, still in the "Bride's Room" immediately opposite the church entrance.

I, in a moment of panic and less than gracefully, turned to my mother seated in the front row and mouthed the words "Oh sh*t, I forgot the rings!"

Not my finest moment.

The Minister, who knew my mother well, noticed she practically sprinted out of the church and into the "Bride's Room", looked to me in a Ministerly WTH kind of way. I whispered the situation to him and the Bride and Groom and prayed Mom could put her hands on the rings fast.

I give him credit, the Minister handled things beautifully and gave an impromptu sermon-like chat that was laced with enough wisdom and laughter that the Groom actually relaxed and normal color returned to his face. But after a good, painfully long three minutes, Mom was still missing in action and so were the rings.

I looked over my shoulder in the direction of the Bride's Room, which now had it's double doors wide open for all the guest to see inside-- And there was Mom tearing through suitcases, make-up bags, purses and even the McDonald's wrappers in search of the rings. Let me tell you things were flying around that room and I never remember my mother moving so fast in her life.

When Mom finally spotted the black velvet box on the dressing table she let out a squeal and raced back into the church where she was greeted with a huge round of applause by the guests and Minister.

Finally the ceremony started. Little Sister took it all in stride, her Groom-- by this point, was thoroughly enjoying himself, Mom was back in her seat huffing and puffing, and the Minister got to the task at hand.

Why I let the "take care of the rings" message go in one ear and out other the other remains a mystery to me... And believe me, I've relived that moment a thousand times. I was way younger back then so blaming it on a "Senior Moment" was out of the question-- I wasn't over caffeinated-- There's no such thing as a McDonald's hangover-- And I was very focused on every other detail of the wedding day.

I yiyi, I have no idea.

But there are no hard feelings-- just a lot of good humor ribbing each year on their anniversary and every chance in between that the subject presents itself. I deserve it and even open the conversation up when I leave a voicemail message at their home saying I just wanted to "give them a ring" and say hello.

Welcome to www.TheFiftyFactor.com -- Joanna Jenkins
Photo Credit: © Evgenia Smirnova - Fotolia.com

49 comments:

  1. What a great story--it cracked me up! I can totally picture it all unfolding. So glad that everyone has a sense of humor about it: )

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  2. First I have to say I love hearing that people didn't caught up in marriage fever- we spent under $5000 on our wedding total and I loved it. what a situation you were in thank goodness for the minister's ring!!

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  3. That is a great story and love your way of ribbing them with the phone call each year. The imperfections are what make the best stories, usually told with fondness and a smile.

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  4. Sounds like a relaxed minister and bride and groom. If that was the only little uh-oh moment, they had a perfect wedding.

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  5. I love that you'll never let 'em forget. It does make for a fantastic story though. The very same thing happened at my BIL's wedding. Rings were in the brides room wedding started...I be-lined to the small room retrieving the rings. I motioned to little Social Butterfly who was a flower girl who gave the ring to the Maid of Honor savin' the day. Woohoo!!! :o)

    Weddings make for the best stories don't they???

    God bless and have the best day sweetie!!!

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  6. haha. love this story...scrumpin on hamburgers before teh wedding and forgetting the rings...tsk tsk...lol. the ministerial WTH look...big smiles.

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  7. There was a similar scenario when I got wed in 1982. The best man joined me at the church and I said 'sh*t! you've got the rings...'

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  8. Made for a very memorable moment, I'm sure!

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  9. I think your brother-in-law appreciated the focus being taken away from the seriousness of the ceremony for a minutes, enough to relax and enjoy the moment.

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  10. Funny how the average couple tries to make everything perfect on their wedding day...but what does everyone remember most, and most fondly? The human errors that make it unique.

    I want to see a study done looking at the amount of money spent on wedding ceremonies and the length of the marriages!

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  11. Very cute story. I like stories like that that will last forever. Fun.

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  12. sounds like the missing rings provide moment of levity which the groom sorely needed! Shit happens. It's how we deal with the shit that defines us!

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  13. While the ring part of this story WAS very amusing, my favorite part was the bride eating a big mac and fries prior to the wedding! I loved that! Too often everyone is so nervous before the wedding when they should just be enjoying the day.

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  14. Oh I can just imagine, maybe it all helped so that the groom would not pass out...everything for a reason. great story. hugs

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  15. Really enjoyed this story, you really could not make it up. Your Mum is very cool for making everything alright!

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  16. another wonderful story from you...
    and I so pictured it all going on.. your descriptions are vivid and perfect.

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  17. That was hilarious Joanna, thanks for the laugh. I was especially glad to hear that the groom relaxed. :)

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  18. I love this! I could picture the whole thing. You gave me my laugh for the day!

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  19. Great story-telling, as usual!
    Lovely, JJ!!

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  20. You made a lasting memory that day, I love it.....:-) Hugs

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  21. well told story. Good thing you didn't get happy meals with some type of ring prize in them.

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  22. Well I think your actions made the day more fun...you couldn't have planned it any better!

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  23. Very cute story!
    At least now when you make a boo boo or forget something you can call it a 'senior moment' ! Oh hold on...seeing as you and I are the same sorta age... I think we better call them 'middle age moments'! lol

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  24. burgers and fries before the ceremony, lol! Glad the rings were found in time, I think I was more worried about the purple juice!

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  25. Fun story. I really enjoyed it. Hey, you made their wedding memorable. If it wasn't for that it would have just been ordinary. Glad everyone relaxed and enjoyed the moment.
    ♥Joy

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  26. What a great story!

    LOVED the Big Mac!!! :)

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  27. This kind me rolling in the aisles! What a story - but sounds like it only added some extra good memories to the wedding!

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  28. Your mom saved the day!

    Did the Groom get okay?

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  29. It's moments like these that create the best memories. And great blog posts.

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  30. What an entertaining story, I am sure today you are smiling about it.;) The best weddings are when things go slightly wrong.;)
    If it is any consolation, when my sister was getting married, the church they chose for the wedding burned down the day before the wedding. Imagine what that meant; bad omen and a lot of complication finding a new church in time and letting anyone know.
    This was ten years ago and despite it all, it is a very happy marriage today, including three great kids.;)
    The best things in life are those that do not come easy.;)
    xo

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  31. This story made me laugh and laugh!!! I can just see your mom tearing through the room trying to find the rings!! Ha! Things a flying all over the place! So glad all was put right and the ceremony could continue.
    And a Big Mac attack sounds about right to me. I get those every once in awhile myself!
    Hugs
    SueAnn

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  32. When unplanned things crop up during a wedding or reception, they become part of family lore.

    A wedding and reception that run smoothly aren't nearly as much fun for everyone to reminisce about.

    I'm not saying they aren't fun to reminisce about, I'm say they're just not as much fun.

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  33. Too funny....I can totally picture the scene of your Mom tearing through things!

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  34. Good telling of a great story... and I, too, am glad you don't let them forget.

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  35. Happy Anniversary to Baby Sister. What a fun wedding story. I can picture you gals all glammed up at the McDonald's drive thru! Like 2 girls before Prom! tee hee hee....

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  36. Ah, but you made it memorable! Love the "give you a ring."

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  37. LOl I love this story. This wedding sounds much like mine...both of our big familys and our children and grandchilden and few close friends. Very personal and perfect.

    Very well told story...I could so picture all of it as you told it. Glad that everyone was good sports and that you all continue to laugh about it today. XX

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  38. Hehehe. It's moment's like that which make occasions most memorable. Loved it!

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  39. AT least YOU didn't pass out!! Sounds like it all worked out fine!

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  40. Oh, Joanna, such a funny tale thugh I'm sure you were most anxious as your mother was searching the bride's room and coming up empty handed. It's wonderful that everyone - especially the bride and groom - could laugh about it all - and still laugh about it today.

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  41. Loved this story! Too funny about hitting the Mc D's drive thru on the way, and forgetting about the rings! My own wedding was a comedy of errors, too. I got married on a boat on the ocean and got seasick! :)

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  42. What's a wedding with out a little chaos? At mine, I dropped my engagement ring right as I joined my groom at the altar. I elbowed him in the side and said, "Get my ring!" We laughed about that for years - it seemed so demanding but there was no way I was bending over in my great-grandmother's antique linen dress!

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  43. Oh what a few moments of panic that must have been. But it sure makes a funny story. Well told!

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  44. What a sweet story. Seems like your family has a good sense of humor about it. Also seems to me that it gave a needed moment of pause so the groom could relax a little. I wouldn't worry about it.

    At my wedding one of the groomsmen couldn't come, so I had one groomsman and two bridesmaids coming down the aisle. My brother-in-law loved it. My bridesmaids didn't mind. My mom was freaking out. Sigh. I figured it didn't matter. The wedding was just one day in many that I would be spending with the one I love.

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  45. Love this story!! Great that she was so relaxed ......most brides are a mess!

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  46. Oh my, "not my best moment". Loved it!!

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