Aging Successfully

When 99 is the new 79!

Did you ever notice how some people just have "it"?  They are smart, interesting and have a great sense of humor.  They're the ones who are attractive, accomplished AND humble.  I have a friend like that and he just celebrated his 99th birthday.  Yep, NINETY-NINE big ones!  But, if you didn't know better, you'd swear he was only 79.

We're great friends and have been for years.  We talk at least once a week and have lunch every other week.  It's hard to get on his busy schedule so I plan ahead and always make a date, on our date, for our next date.  

When we're together, I secretly study him to try and figure out what his secret to "it" is and in doing so, wonder how the heck I can get "it" too.

His memory is better then mine ever was.  He swims every day and travels extensively.  And yes, he dates, a lot-- some pretty hot ladies who fall into the "80 is the new 70" category I might add.

I think his secret to aging is to always keep his mind busy.  We've all heard that before.  But how many of you know a 99 year old who's a whiz on the computer, attends 4-5 evening music concerts a week, sits on the Board of Directors to multiple major organizations, attends a variety of lectures each month AND has a great family life?  I'm telling you, this guy is way beyond Suduko!  He is serious about staying active, alert and loving life.

Today I discovered a new wrinkle and started to feel sorry for myself.  But I thought of my cool, older gentleman friend and turned off the magnifying mirror, turned on some classical music (his fave) and danced around the room.  Then, I attempted the New York Times Crossword Puzzle-- in ink!

What's your secret to staying young?

Welcome to TheFiftyFactor.com  -  Joanna

Think About It Thursday: Quotes #2

Quotes from women worth thinking about...

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

Erma Bombeck (1927-1996)

Do not insult the mother alligator until after you have crossed the river.

Haitian proverb

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.

Helen Hayes at age 83

What are your words to live by?

Welcome to TheFiftyFactor.com  -  Joanna  

Star Sighting: Eat Your Hearts Out!

A few  days ago I included a photo of a shirtless Daniel Craig aka James Bond in one of my columns.  OMG- That is one fine looking M A N ! ! ! Judging from the number of emails I received, many of you think the same thing too.  

Well ladies, eat your hearts out. Saturday night I was three feet away from the man himself!

I actually heard his sultry voice before I saw him.  Instantly I knew it was Bond-- James Bond.  I froze, my heart racing uncontrollably, my hair suddenly blowing softly in the breeze. Closing my eyes for a moment, I drank in the sweet sound of his voice and tried to inhale his exquisite cologne.  Slowly I turned to face him and there-- right there-- was Daniel Craig-- his piercing blue eyes shinning in the moonlight.  Our eyes met for what seemed like an eternity, then he graciously gestured me ahead of him as we entered the hotel together.  Later, in the Polo Lounge "our song" played on the piano as we sipped martinis-- shaken, not stirred.....

Insert:  Needle scratching across a record album!

Okay, okay.  It didn't happen exactly like that.  But we were both at the Beverly Hills Hotel in line to check in for an Oscar party. And we were just three feet apart-- Swear to god!  And yes, I could heart his voice-- English accent and all.  It made me weak in the knees.

If only I knew how to take pictures with my cell phone.

Who makes you weak in the knees???

Welcome to TheFiftyFactor.com  -  Joanna

Botox Nation

I was born with crows feet-- Those nasty, deep, sunburst wrinkles engraving the corners of my eyes.  You can actually see them in my baby pictures, as well as my high school senior class photo, my various head shots for business, my wedding pics and even my reflection in shop windows on the street.  Seriously!  Thanks to high cheek bones these babies are "crater crows" stretching all the way to my jaw line.  Despite dunking my face nightly in wrinkle creams and anti-aging lotions, they still continue to spread-- like wild fire.  And, they've always really bugged me.

I met my Botox doc a few years ago when I decided it was time for a little nip tuck to surgically erase all age lines from my face. Leave it to me to find the only Beverly Hills plastic surgeon NOT to recommend surgery! Instead, he turned me onto Botox with the promise that he'd tell me when it was time to go under the knife.  Now, I'm a card carrying member of the Botox Nation and proud of it!

Please spare me the lecture about what I'm injecting into my face.  I've already heard it a million times.  Botox is my drug of choice and I'd rather live in my car then part with it.

In the interest of full disclosure, injections also include my brow lines but-- No, my face is NOT frozen and expressionless. My crows feet and brow lines are so frigging deep there's not enough Botox on the planet to completely erase these lines.  But they are "softened" and not nearly as scary.  When I hear snide remarks about "frozen Botox faces" you can easily tell by my furrowed brow and crinkled eyes that mine are not included in the analysis.  It's an injection, not plaster!

In my quest to be a "new 40-something", Botox is part of my bag of tricks along with massive quantities of skin care products. Maybe it's not for everyone but I look more rested and feel less self-conscious than without it. So no wise cracks please-- No pun intended!

What's in your bag of beauty tricks?

Welcome to TheFiftyFactor.com  -  Joanna

MEN-o-pause

If men went through menopause would it be a pretty picture?  Consider some of our most well-known hunks doing the MEN-o-pause thing...

• Daniel Craig:  Imagine junk in his trunk!
  
• Simon Cowell:  Sobbing uncontrollably over a mushy love song.
• George W. Bush:  "Wanted Dead or Alive" would have a whole new meaning.
• George Clooney:  Sexy and sweaty.
• Spiderman:  I'll never wear spandex again!
• Gordon Ramsey:  In prison for torching the kitchen.
• David Beckham:  Where's my soccer ball?  I had it just a minute ago.
• Patrick Dempsey:  Please god, do not touch the hair!
• John McCain:  Had a menopause moment when he picked Sarah Palin.
• Leonardo DiCaprio:  King of the Insomniacs.
• Robert Downey Jr. aka Ironman:  I'm too bloated to wear that-- and fly!
• Pierce Brosnon:  Lifestyles of the rich and sleep deprived.
• Tiger Woods:  No golf today, I have a headache.
• Bill Clinton:  What happened to my sex drive?
• Brad Pitt:  Does this stroller make my butt look fat?
• James Gandolfini aka Tony Soprano:  Now he's really !@#$%^& psycho!
• Tom Cruise:  Last seen roaming the vitamin aisles mumbling to himself.

Do you have any male menopause suggestions?

Welcome to TheFiftyFactor.com  - Joanna

Barbie and the Academy Awards

So our doll Barbie is turning 50 years old in March!  Can you believe it?  She's 50 and her breasts are still high, her mascara still thick and her legs are still long and lean.  I wonder if she's having hot flashes yet?

I wish I still had my Mattel Barbie Dolls from the 1960s. I'd sell them on eBay and put the loot towards the full body lift I've been dreaming about.  After all, I grew up thinking Barbie had the perfect body and longed to look like her.

When I was a girl, I loved the evening gowns Barbie wore.  I'd change her outfits all day long and never get tired.  The "mermaid" or "fishtail" gowns we my favorites.  So were the great big, fluffy, layered gowns.

I saw several Barbie gown knock-offs at the Academy Awards tonight.  Did you?  With all due respect to the designers, Sarah Jessica Parker wore a stunning Barbie gown.  It was so big and full.  She looked like Princess Barbie only with better hair.  And Miley Cyrus was Sweet Sixteen Barbie in her ball gown.  I wonder if she ever played with Barbies?

Teen sensation, Vanessa Hudgens, was wearing a black Barbie mermaid dress, or rather the dress was wearing her.  It was a very big and very mature dress for such a little girl.  Maybe she wants to grow up to be Barbie? And, Beyonce rocked the Kodak Theater Red Carpet in her black and gold Barbie mermaid gown. What a body on that girl!

But it was the lovely Penelope Cruz that took my prize for "Best Barbie Dress" of the night, although her dress is actually 10 years older than Barbie!  Yep, Miss Penelope wore a 60 year old vintage Balmain ball gown when she nabbed the Best Supporting Actress Oscar for "Vicky Christina Barcelona".  I just love that she recycles.

Hats off to all the ladies tonight.  Dressing for the Oscars is a seriously big job-- Even for Barbie.

Who wore your favorite dress at the Oscars?

Welcome to TheFiftyFactor.com  -  Joanna