tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3211916946754614168.post8472886119588065417..comments2010-01-28T23:56:05.861-08:00Joanna Jenkinshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10836376588710862173noreply@blogger.comBlogger67125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3211916946754614168.post-48114407307073512332010-01-28T23:56:05.861-08:002010-01-28T23:56:05.861-08:00Oh yeah. I drive myself crazy on a regular basis going over my imaginary conversations.Marlahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18000815937078399278noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3211916946754614168.post-34690516417702339512010-01-27T15:17:53.316-08:002010-01-27T15:17:53.316-08:00hah! I always rerun conversations and cast myself as the more sassy, sophisticated and full of attitude type...when in reality...oh well!!Roshnihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12279545994562766446noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3211916946754614168.post-57534251009977736272010-01-27T11:20:28.029-08:002010-01-27T11:20:28.029-08:00sorry I missed this one yesterday....right up my alley!! I, too, have those conversations with myself, BUT...and I have a big one (but, that is, not BUTT ;-)) is that I did speak my peace one time and even though the recipient deserved what she got, I swore to myself I would never, ever do that again, no matter how much the person deserved it. I wasn&#39;t nasty, I was just full-out blunt. I had had enough and I couldn&#39;t hold it in any longer. But, the result was surprising. It didn&#39;t make me feel better (well, maybe for about 5 minutes) but after that it actually made me feel worse. I regretted it. I didn&#39;t apologize because I didn&#39;t really say or do anything wrong, so what happened was that neither of us spoke to each other for a year. (it was with a friend). I kept on having dreams throughout that year about her and finally I realized I had to speak with her. Our friendship survived it and I learned a lot from that experience. So, don&#39;t beat yourself up over missed opportunities. Things happen for a reason and they have a way of sorting themselves out whichever way you handle it. Hugs.yorksnbeanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05372777296084705773noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3211916946754614168.post-72249979183690128272010-01-27T05:22:09.857-08:002010-01-27T05:22:09.857-08:00You are just so nice! That is why you keep having these conversations with yourself. Now my conversations with myself tend to go more like &quot;You really shouldn&#39;t have said that&quot;.Debbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17480046958714954128noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3211916946754614168.post-16907260261539727402010-01-27T05:21:20.101-08:002010-01-27T05:21:20.101-08:00Those are spilt milks.Ocean Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02399300464457820101noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3211916946754614168.post-59002354017377514002010-01-27T04:45:08.053-08:002010-01-27T04:45:08.053-08:00Nice reflective post Joanna. Occasionally those things play through my head but I&#39;ve learned over the years that I can&#39;t change the past. I can learn from it but spending much time there keeps me from living in the now.The Peach Tarthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01587235197620014751noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3211916946754614168.post-86236470728301650612010-01-27T00:59:21.377-08:002010-01-27T00:59:21.377-08:00Oh darlin I <i>know</i> what you mean...I just go blank at the time of any conflict or bad treatment...but at least you can come up with some fun replies in your head....I just seem to get stuck in the moment that was...maybe we&#39;ll get better when we grow up!Chrisyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01954004833710064612noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3211916946754614168.post-8316682140005706042010-01-26T20:56:49.478-08:002010-01-26T20:56:49.478-08:00YES! And suddenly I recall a guy from high school who really hurt me and later wrote me a note in my yearbook apologizing and asking me to forgive him. I aws stunned and too proud to tell him. I never let him know how healing those words were for me. As a woman, I look back and think he was a great guy and I wish I could have told him.<br /><br />BUT many shoulda woulda couldas!She Writeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16065870952905767595noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3211916946754614168.post-35498305454927573562010-01-26T20:13:32.934-08:002010-01-26T20:13:32.934-08:00If only, Joanna ... if only we coulda say what we thought we shoulda said in hindsight AND get away with it. <br />There&#39;s been times I&#39;ve wished I coulda just kepta my moutha shut tight, like it was a vault. I admire people who have the ability to do that, but I also admire those who now how to say something that needs to be said with diplomacy.Rowehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02765993736554383626noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3211916946754614168.post-66023539366158688362010-01-26T20:12:57.224-08:002010-01-26T20:12:57.224-08:00hey there!! <br /><br />I&#39;m with otin here. <br /><br />me tooAha! It's The Obnoxious SAHMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11862870782380728064noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3211916946754614168.post-50811415056565030312010-01-26T18:14:57.612-08:002010-01-26T18:14:57.612-08:00Woulda, shoulda coulda? Hell, it seems like I was born saying that!<br /><br />I never end up saying what I need to say at the time that I need to say it!otinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03158978490041796686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3211916946754614168.post-63241490288288797532010-01-26T17:49:34.352-08:002010-01-26T17:49:34.352-08:00Oh I have them, and the weird thing is that I have them when I know if I were in that situation again and given the choice of a millions different ways to have responded, that I would have still responded the way I did!tattytiarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18408220720084181008noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3211916946754614168.post-45243200268812833182010-01-26T17:37:03.226-08:002010-01-26T17:37:03.226-08:00Joanna,<br />My first visit to your fifty factor blog. Yes , us fifty somethings sure have a lot to say don&#39;t we! Very refreshing outlook and also for me a sense of commonality with your writing.<br />Much of my blog is about self awareness and self acceptance so when I read your post it was very compelling.<br />I&#39;ll tell you though, I have learned to live life without regret and have learned to let go of many of the old hurts and the could have / should have thinking.<br />I&#39;m likely to tell people what I think. My blog keeps me out of trouble so I can rant a little.gaf85http://www.blogger.com/profile/07366611063698368921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3211916946754614168.post-26819932724386503412010-01-26T16:28:57.959-08:002010-01-26T16:28:57.959-08:00anyone who has been divorced must go through some of this &#39;what if&#39; stuff. I got to a point sometime ago that convinced me that it was a big waste of my time to play &#39;what if&#39; games in my head. It is what it is.<br /><br />But I like the post and the &#39;bitch slapping part&#39;. Was thinking and writing that kinda therapeutically?<br /><br />I say it all about balance but sometimes I do stumble.lislemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15187273560129198423noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3211916946754614168.post-81562797224357295312010-01-26T16:27:48.763-08:002010-01-26T16:27:48.763-08:00Story of my life! (Especially in the first 25 years :) I think it&#39;s the storyteller in us.Margohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15813140073356995390noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3211916946754614168.post-12224763705974744532010-01-26T13:43:07.413-08:002010-01-26T13:43:07.413-08:00Yep, I have these conversations with myself all the time. Sometimes I feel like it&#39;s a learning opportunity other times I think I&#39;m just plain cruel to myself and it&#39;s pointless to rehash events that can&#39;t be changed. I do wish I was faster on my feet though, that would solve a lot of it.Tesahttp://www.2wired2tired.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3211916946754614168.post-19604026017729350702010-01-26T12:36:03.390-08:002010-01-26T12:36:03.390-08:00Oh yeah, I have a conversation with my Junior High School homeroom teacher.Unknown Mamihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17034216831504207496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3211916946754614168.post-6101864337151908652010-01-26T11:36:45.622-08:002010-01-26T11:36:45.622-08:00haha! i guess that´s one of the upsides to having a bad memory... and um... what´s wrong with talking to yourself?... hugs!janehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11848025993329729577noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3211916946754614168.post-24089412539112405802010-01-26T11:11:44.168-08:002010-01-26T11:11:44.168-08:00Thank you for stopping by my blog; I&#39;m so glad you did, becuase I have enjoyed myself so much here! By the way - those conversations, I have them too sometimes:-)<br />The best advice I have heard is to get a fly swatter. Pretend the person you are debating with (in your head) sitting on your shoulder, and just smack him/her away. It works!Mrs Moenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04943912994076653225noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3211916946754614168.post-22823714540357924782010-01-26T11:09:15.345-08:002010-01-26T11:09:15.345-08:00How often do you remember the really great things you&#39;ve said, the witty rejoinders or the truly kind and uplifting stuff? I never do, only the &quot;why the hell did I say THAT?&quot; stuff.Rootietoothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06804816032287310463noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3211916946754614168.post-71479092230658586442010-01-26T11:01:27.719-08:002010-01-26T11:01:27.719-08:00Boy do I ever! Starting with a few ex-boyfriends, a few bosses, a couple teachers, and my parents! Oh to have a chance to hit rewind and replay it all! Or not, come to think of it...Green Girl in Wisconsinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08116763577809935670noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3211916946754614168.post-4029943313851611042010-01-26T09:25:18.557-08:002010-01-26T09:25:18.557-08:00Do you have some witty replies when you talk to yourself?<br /><br />Time to banish some of those ghosts - if you can...LadyFihttp://ladyfi.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3211916946754614168.post-52842752634141920002010-01-26T08:32:37.076-08:002010-01-26T08:32:37.076-08:00What can I say? Where have you been all my blog life.<br /><br />You are hilarious. Absolutely divine.<br /><br />I&#39;m a fan.<br /><br />Warm regards,<br />TishTish Jetthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08865177127050648489noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3211916946754614168.post-74366092065413260002010-01-26T08:25:55.003-08:002010-01-26T08:25:55.003-08:00There was no one to teach me the genteel ways when I was young. So I did not know that sometimes it was better to keep quiet. I know it hurt you very much when you were in the midst of the high school sweetheart trauma. Wanting to hurt back is natural after all we are only human. I hope you are saying that you would have bitch slapped Bob and then walked away, knowing he was not worthy of your trust. These are hard life lessons especially in high school. I so understand how a song triggers old feelings, some good and some not so good. Music has always been the part of my soul that has helped me survive. In my case I don&#39;t think I have any coulda-shoulda-woulda-said more likely coulda-shouldn&#39;ta-but dida!!TechnoBabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08615265608675467505noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3211916946754614168.post-74716463830465405392010-01-26T08:16:11.625-08:002010-01-26T08:16:11.625-08:00yes - every day of my life. And I&#39;m trying to stop those conversations and move on. But it can be so hard.theycallmejanehttp://www.theycallmejane.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.com